Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Turn off

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 041

You deserved it 4 253

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Same thing different taste

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 715

By thanks, fuckface - 16/11/2012 19:42 - United States - Parachute

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 189

You deserved it 4 172

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 4 527

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 192

You deserved it 8 221

Squelching the night away

By alison - 04/07/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 035

You deserved it 4 955

Uh oh

By awkward - 26/07/2013 18:00 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 212

You deserved it 7 262

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 634

You deserved it 6 407

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 841

You deserved it 4 639

Valid reason

By stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00 - United States - Portland

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 492

You deserved it 267

Not now, Yoda

By iwassoclose - 10/04/2013 16:32 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 782

You deserved it 8 808

osm1989_fml 6

Sunday 4 November 2012 0:58

He's the ****** Whisperer.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Sunday 4 November 2012 1:09

Grab his dick and say: "Longeeeer"

Comments

BoratSagdiyev 2

Sunday 4 November 2012 19:56

How about teaching him instead of being so judgmental? Not everyone is born a great lover.

withasmile 3

Sunday 4 November 2012 23:12

TEACH HIM - nicely, in a fun sexy way.

dutchpower 5

Monday 5 November 2012 2:00

Okay that's so bad... My first time i gave her an ****** and no awkward stuff al around it, you reaaaally should learn him all the do's and dont's.....

TcheQ 12

Monday 5 November 2012 9:54

I'll help you out OP. As long as you aren't hideous. I'm not :p

Knarf_fml 10

Monday 5 November 2012 15:09

Showing him what you like would help and create intimacy! Plus side its hot to watch a women, a man on the other hand? Just go to a zoo you got the idea!

Samba1234 13

Monday 5 November 2012 15:55

I know I sound stupid, but what does "OP" mean? :)

sweetcatastroph3 9

Monday 5 November 2012 22:19

it means "original poster", the person who posts the FML

VirtKitty 8

Monday 5 November 2012 17:47

Then she needs to ********** and find out what works for her.

sweetcatastroph3 9

Monday 5 November 2012 22:23

no, there's no "teaching". no one ever taught me how to do anything. you learn from experience and ****. to shove your hands down someone's pants and whisper in the person's ear for them to cum, that's not lack of experience, that's lack of common sense. even if he knew how to find the ********, he'd still whisper that to her and that's just gross. i'm pretty sure he also owns a black van with tinted windows. if he has no experience, he needs to watch some ****.