Squelching the night away

By alison - 04/07/2015 05:02 - United States

Spicy
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 032
You deserved it 4 955

Same thing different taste

Top comments

qwertycode 19

At least he's comfortable around you :]

mariah_1_11 22

Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?

Comments

dagarr 11

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Yeah, that must have been the reason. Not that the FML went over your head like a frisbee being thrown at a blind dog or anything. It was probably because the boyfriend didn't try.

dagarr 11

Don't have to be a dick about it no body is perfect like u

mds9986 24

Don't worry 17 - it's the internet. It's the only place he can feel tough and powerful and insult people because he knows he can't be caught as he sits there smirking to himself.

expertsmilee 26

If the internet were the only place I could insult someone, then I'd insult people a lot more on here instead of saving most of it for the in-person idiots.

Who wants to argue with me about shit? There seems to be a lot of angry tension here so I thought it would be a good place. # 14 come at me bro

#32 dude, you don't want me to come at you. I'm more ripped than a piece of contraction paper. I don't have a camera to prove it so you'll just have to believe me. Please believe me. Please.

Contraction paper? Must be all brawn

I meant construction paper. You correcting my typos? You want to fight too? I'm really strong. I promise. So, might as well back off because I'm not scared or anything. Seriously, I'm not scared.

For the love of Morgan Freeman, this conversation is so FUNNY!!! BTW: I believe you #76, hope that it make's your day ;-)

This is it, we have found the most pathetic comment fight on here

I don't think sassy is serious haha

mariah_1_11 22

Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?

Careful not to queef on your BF's face OP. You might get pregnant.

You know Katherine and Katie Queef too?

Nah #2, they like queefs, and laughing at queefs. Def would not have lost the magic of relate.

tantanpanda 26

#27, now let me check for cysts...

MdMan2 23
qwertycode 19

At least he's comfortable around you :]

Agreed, it's great that this is the kind of relationship you have. That's max comfort zone, and the absolute best place to be!

Sefolkerth 20

I'm sorry you were so embarrassed your first time! Unfortunately there is very little you can do to prevent queefing. Pay attention to which positions cause it the most and you can try to avoid them. Otherwise it's absolutely normal and just air that's being pushed into your ****** coming back out!

yeah. he needs to change his strokes. It happens when he pulls out to far and then thrusts back in therefore pushing in air.

#10 - Exactly!!! I was with a guy once that actually got angry and accused me of queefing on purpose. Ughhhhhhh ******* ignorance.

But #57 the fml community answers are more amusing (: and queefing is a vaginally fart - urban dictionary :P

I liked it when my gf did in mid-sex once ....lol....dnt look at me* I'm a beast*

Not always, I can do that with my gf and her not queef. Only position it happens with us is doggy

Well, you could always try anal. Wait, that may not be the best idea. Just laugh it off with him.

at least he thought it was funny instead of repulsive

Ugh, this has happened to me several times. **** you, queef!

Don't even worry about it! It's normal!