So the conversation, the food, and the company were all shit? You hit the trifecta.

Hey, just because they're your pooping habits, it doesn't mean they're less valid or less important. you need to embrace what's yours! welcome it with open arms! the sky is the limit! fight for what's yours and.... nope can't go on with this pep talk it's too ridiculous.

Do you leave skid marks in the toilet bowl or something?

Could they see Jesus in it?

Honestly, who gives a shit?

Maybe they’re hoping you’re finally going to make one that looks like Jesus?

I just have to roll my eyes whenever i see the guys here TRY TO BE FUNNY just to get on the weekly "funniest comment" thing. Jesus you guys are lame. @OP, if they have tried discussing it with you so many times, I really have to wonder what your habit is. Do you smear your feces on the walls after you're done? Because it doesn't seem that, if there wasn't anything weird you were doing, they would want to talk about it.

My guess is they are doing this to segue into educating your guests about the poop knife.

Are your parents in the health care industry as they usually have no boundaries

"Hey, Mom? Dad? Your endeavor to train me out of wanting to participate in ANY meal with you is working quite well. EXPECT DEFINITIVE RESULTS SHORTLY."