Healthy Lifestyle, Embarrassing, Painful and Health: Watch out!

Watch out!

By FlyLikeABird - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 904

You deserved it 4 448

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Same thing different taste

Guilty

By jamienicole1993 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 927

You deserved it 3 338

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 263

You deserved it 4 197

I was right all along

By 3peeps - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 813

You deserved it 4 059

You were warned

By kko - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 672

You deserved it 4 898

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 2 301

I'm OK!

By MAC. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 449

You deserved it 6 042

Customer of the day

By oped01 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Cape Coral

Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 393

You deserved it 1 063

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 932

By Ohwhy - 27/10/2012 11:53 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 492

You deserved it 2 082

By "ztodaro" - 30/06/2017 20:00

Today, while I was inside a store, I heard a crash. Of course I ignored it because my car was parked. I paid for my items and walked out to see this. Nobody else was around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 291

PenguinBitch 43

Monday 17 November 2014 10:12

*two crows laugh nearby*

LiveLifeAllDay 11

Monday 17 November 2014 9:49

I'm usually nice about this but I would have loved to see this happen

Comments

LifeMD 14

Monday 17 November 2014 9:46

Don't worry OP, I've had something similar happen to me. If you're a bird, I'm a bird.

ihaveasushicat 24

Monday 17 November 2014 9:46

Did you leave a face print on the glass like birds usually do?

Ohshitdude 21

Monday 17 November 2014 9:49

Were you at least drunk?

LiveLifeAllDay 11

Monday 17 November 2014 9:49

I'm usually nice about this but I would have loved to see this happen

scottyboy417 19

Monday 17 November 2014 9:58

I walked into a stop sign once face first. I feel your pain.

pjsr 32

Wednesday 13 December 2023 8:08

At least now you know the sign does what it says

devildog562 33

Monday 17 November 2014 9:59

Windex , birds and humans worse enemy. Hope you're okay op.

badluckalex 23

Monday 17 November 2014 10:16

spiders are #1

PenguinBitch 43

Monday 17 November 2014 10:12

*two crows laugh nearby*

SarahSehhati 40

Monday 17 November 2014 10:15

Let the sun shine through...Windex :)

bombielol 20

Monday 17 November 2014 10:34

ouch....

Stryker_13 19

Monday 17 November 2014 10:45

You flew into a window and broke your nose? That's quite a talent you have there xP are you sure you aren't part bird?

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Awkward Love Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Boredom Anniversary Abuse Ironic Intimacy Alcohol Am I overreacting? Drunk Transportation AITA Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 916

You deserved it 3 417

Today, I found out that my sister is one of those people who thought that "Obamacare" and "The Affordable Care Act" were two different things, and now my niece's health is no longer going to be covered due to upcoming cutbacks. Guess who my sister voted for? FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, I was going through my mom's closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 593

You deserved it 4 268

Today, while clearing out my kitchen, I discovered a Tupperware container that'd been forgotten for so long it'd developed its own ecosystem. When I opened it, a funky smell engulfed the kitchen, and I realized I had unintentionally created a new form of life. I promptly closed the container, then put it in the freezer in the hope of killing whatever it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 592

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me. All because I’m thinking of moving to the UK next year to study, and apparently, a girl he’s been thinking about for a week is a better option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 737

You deserved it 268

Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 400

You deserved it 8 386

Today, I was working on my art portfolio. I had drawn a self-portrait. When I was satisfied, I wanted to show my parents. They thought it was a drawing of a bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 406

You deserved it 5 229

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 002

You deserved it 3 930

Same thing different taste

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