Cats and Animals: Wham! Bam! Thank You Ma'am - FML

Wham! Bam! Thank You Ma'am

By IamAflyingCat - 22/10/2013 09:12 - United States

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 695

You deserved it 5 365

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Same thing different taste

Red alert

By Life With Cats - 15/08/2022 22:00

Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 244

By Sarah1330 - 25/02/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 407

You deserved it 3 346

Part of the furniture

By ripped - 07/09/2016 14:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 831

You deserved it 1 374

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 11:40 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 732

You deserved it 5 811

Surprise!

By BadKitty - 11/09/2016 13:37 - Australia - Invermay

Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 1 278

Lightbulb moment

By Kevin - 17/10/2024 16:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 145

Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening

By Bamboozled - 23/03/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 166

By Dom - 26/05/2012 21:35 - South Africa - Kwa-zulu

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 170

You deserved it 3 299

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 264

You deserved it 2 745

Curiosity killed the AC

By Cat owner - 10/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 122

Next

Top comments

summerguy97 16

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:05

Even when cats are having fun they'll find a way to inadvertently ruin your life.

pandabrr 12

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:07

Please record him.

Comments

Izabel12 7

Friday 25 April 2014 19:55

What's wrong with that?!? You're damn cat is a GENIUS!

Franklin413 0

Saturday 12 July 2014 22:39

The ad on my screen is new parkour academy...

Prince_of_Angels 9

Friday 18 July 2014 15:58

THAT SOUNDS AWESOME

cmo333 10

Monday 3 November 2014 5:38

That is what i call talent.

daximoose 11

Monday 15 December 2014 8:49

spider-cat

MusicalRock 6

Monday 18 May 2015 0:48

IIIIIIIMMMMMM GONNNAAA SWING FROM THE CHANDELIER!!!

KayPlay 19

Saturday 6 August 2016 21:14

That cat is a genius

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Tuesday 25 July 2017 22:24

hope you got that recorded on video. A clip like that would make a lot of clicks on youtube. I'd pay to see that.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing AITA Weird Am I overreacting? Dating Love Sleep Work Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers

The Top

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 516

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 005

You deserved it 3 398

The Top

Today, I spent my entire shift fantasizing about being in a car wreck and getting hospitalized, just so my mother would show me any love whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 215

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 182

You deserved it 6 305

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 821

You deserved it 2 848

Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 737

You deserved it 7 271

Today, I woke up again from another nightmare about my university's hazing fallout. Every time I see their faces in these dreams, I remember how they got away with everything, including trying to end us as they searched for the first year snitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 218

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 010

You deserved it 1 809