Cats and Animals: Wham! Bam! Thank You Ma'am

Wham! Bam! Thank You Ma'am

By IamAflyingCat - 22/10/2013 09:12 - United States

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 695

You deserved it 5 365

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Red alert

By Life With Cats - 15/08/2022 22:00

Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 244

By Sarah1330 - 25/02/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 407

You deserved it 3 346

Part of the furniture

By ripped - 07/09/2016 14:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 831

You deserved it 1 374

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 11:40 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 732

You deserved it 5 811

Surprise!

By BadKitty - 11/09/2016 13:37 - Australia - Invermay

Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 1 278

Lightbulb moment

By Kevin - 17/10/2024 16:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 145

Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening

By Bamboozled - 23/03/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 166

By Dom - 26/05/2012 21:35 - South Africa - Kwa-zulu

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 170

You deserved it 3 299

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 264

You deserved it 2 745

Curiosity killed the AC

By Cat owner - 10/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 122

summerguy97 16

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:05

Even when cats are having fun they'll find a way to inadvertently ruin your life.

pandabrr 12

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:07

Please record him.

Comments

summerguy97 16

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:05

Even when cats are having fun they'll find a way to inadvertently ruin your life.

NeatNit 32

Tuesday 22 October 2013 17:06

Replace "even" with "especially".

Tigerblossom 19

Tuesday 22 October 2013 17:35

At least the cats ruin your life with style. I give the cat a 10 for originality.

Kamon97 23

Tuesday 22 October 2013 18:06

Shit that cat knows more about physics than I do XD

TheGreatPotato 19

Tuesday 22 October 2013 18:35

How is it I got so lucky with my cats? I keep hearing stories like this FML and the worst my cats do is trip me due to how often they rub on my leg.

Vagitarian1 10

Tuesday 22 October 2013 21:34

Further proof cats are worthless.

Zintrix 6

Tuesday 22 October 2013 23:21

Your cat must be the life of the party.

ComaWhiteLove 18

Thursday 24 October 2013 12:33

You're a douche #112

Vagitarian1 10

Thursday 24 October 2013 21:52

This from a person who has someone getting his head blown off as an avatar. You have deep issues.

ComaWhiteLove 18

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:06

Super Kitty!

cheshirecat13242 32

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:11

Maybe the cat thought he was Spider Pig

BillMurray_fml 12

Tuesday 22 October 2013 18:30

YouTube, OP. I demand it.

SmuggletheBudgie 15

Tuesday 22 October 2013 22:49

You should get a really smart dog so you can watch an epic chase scene unravel in your very own home!

MichellinMan 20

Wednesday 23 October 2013 14:40

When Bills Murray tells you to do something, you ******* do it.

Robbieisadowg 16

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:06

You should know from just being on FML that cats lead to trouble.

Jjimen1654 9

Tuesday 22 October 2013 17:48

Yea theres a readon DOGS are mans best friend.

Robbieisadowg 16

Tuesday 22 October 2013 21:29

Yes, but cats are still mans friend.

ImAFaker 29

Tuesday 22 October 2013 22:33

there's* reason* YOU'RE welcome. I'm sorry. You looked stupid.

karlymarie27 9

Tuesday 22 October 2013 22:48

White girl probs

SmuggletheBudgie 15

Wednesday 23 October 2013 15:22

and budgies too!

pandabrr 12

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:07

Please record him.

bunny911 16

Tuesday 22 October 2013 17:51

Yes! I want this on YouTube within the hour!

ManicGypsy 22

Tuesday 22 October 2013 22:49

Yes, video is needed (with link!) please, please, please!!!

alycion 38

Wednesday 23 October 2013 0:23

My first thought was please tell me there's video. Opay need it to win a funny video contest to replace the chandelier.

pinkshirtbadman 15

Wednesday 23 October 2013 17:00

I came to make the same request. video of this is a must. the internet will never be the same! more cats!

jensen21 19

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:07

Sorry, but that's actually pretty cool from the mental image I'm getting.

SauceySarah 30

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:07

parkour pussy.

Anth6ny 9

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:19

Did u just...

Robbieisadowg 16

Tuesday 22 October 2013 21:23

#21 No.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:08

Evel Catnievel.

Wraven 10

Tuesday 22 October 2013 18:47

Good one

JosephMoore77 8

Tuesday 22 October 2013 21:29

#7, You're fired

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 22 October 2013 21:47

JosephMoore - Thank goodness, because I was getting tired of this commenting crap. Just mail me my final paycheck.

Jiplo 18

Tuesday 22 October 2013 21:59

I hear the advertising department may need some help, and I believe that you will be able to express and enjoy yourself there.

LowExpectations 30

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:08

Wow, that is one acrobatic cat.

juwood 7

Tuesday 22 October 2013 18:47

Acrocat?

Robbieisadowg 16

Tuesday 22 October 2013 21:25

Or acrobaticat. Not as good as acrocat, but just putting it out there.

vipirius 18

Wednesday 23 October 2013 1:05

catrobat?

xzxXxzx 11

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:08

It's not all that bad atleast you have a free running cat.

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Tuesday 22 October 2013 16:09

can you say outside cat

efettes 19

Tuesday 22 October 2013 19:34

Outside cat.

Robbieisadowg 16

Tuesday 22 October 2013 21:26

Outside ca---... Outsi---... Out---- DAMNIT!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 056

You deserved it 8 155

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 17 041

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 201

You deserved it 5 434

Today, I fell asleep while at an outside birthday party in the sun for a five-year-old. That five-year-old put an animal cracker on my forehead. I now have a rhino-shaped tan line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 1 024

Today, my girlfriend of five months told me that she had booked us reservations to our town's Halloween barbecue party. When I reminded her that I'm vegan, she told me she specifically got the reservations to help me to quit my "stupid fad". Weird, I never knew being a devout Hindu was a fad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 301

You deserved it 2 414

Today, I once again had to apologise to a date for cumming too fast as they stormed out the door angry at me. I don’t get it, I’m in shape, I don’t watch porn, and I’ve even had therapy, so why can’t I last longer than 15 seconds before busting my load like an inexperienced teen? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 375

You deserved it 498

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 309

You deserved it 3 510

Today, our AC broke. It's 98 degrees inside the house. My parents will be staying at a 5 star resort until the repairman can come to fix the unit in 6 days. They made me stay home to make sure the plants survive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 216

You deserved it 3 090

Wham! Bam! Thank You Ma'am

Same thing different taste

Red alert

Part of the furniture

Surprise!

Lightbulb moment

Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening

Curiosity killed the AC

Top comments

Comments