Drunk, Pranks and Miscellaneous: Where am I?

Where am I?

By awalc - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with Skittles superglued to my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 264

You deserved it 6 159

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Top comments

SookyTurner 4

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:30

Lifes a bitch

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:49

Ah, you must be one of those people that thinks glue isn't real and Elmer's school glue is actually a bottle of bull sperm.

Comments

Ismaeldaboss 1

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:51

Now how did that happen?

flockz 19

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:54

so you got drunk and gave a rainbow a ******* huh?

shrekus 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:58

At least the rainbow put it on the forehead and not in the hair...

SarahLillian 1

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:55

Did you fall asleep with your shoes on?

pinkWabbits 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:57

Fell asleep before your friends?

onlyoncamera 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:57

LOL

KileyBoynton 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:57

I did that to my brother once! :P.

fatalwish 6

Tuesday 20 December 2011 22:59

And thats why you never passout at a party

BirdIzDuhWord 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:02

Taste the rainbow, bitch.

jets4 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:03

That's why she said that he is the rainbow

ashleeh0718 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:14

Sucks for you.

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Awkward Love Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Boredom Anniversary Abuse Ironic Intimacy Alcohol Am I overreacting? Drunk Transportation AITA Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said, "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green…" I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with, "…ya know, like a dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 006

You deserved it 5 866

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 036

You deserved it 4 225

The Top

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 436

Today, all I wanted after a bad week was a takeaway. We had a few houseguests, plus my wife and kids, so the order was on the large side. When it came, the order was perfect, except mine. The only things they forgot were my starter, my main, my side order, and my dessert. Everything else was perfect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 103

Today, I'm a massage therapist, and a woman got on my table with a rash. When I informed her that I couldn't work on her because of the rash, and that it's illegal, she got mad, and started yelling at me. My boss came to find out what happened, took her side, and fired me. For following the law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 86

Today, in my school's rugby grand final, I had to take a penalty kick to win the game. Possibly the easiest kick I've taken all year. I stuff it up, and it completely missed. A crowd of 2000 people laughed, and later booed me off the field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 364

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 450

You deserved it 4 099

Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 327