Love, Work and Health: White knight, wrong place

White knight, wrong place

By Anonymous - 23/02/2018 19:00

Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 859

You deserved it 2 759

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Same thing different taste

You what?

By he does WHAT - 23/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went with my wife to her work picnic. Some guy I don't know slapped her on the butt. I was ready to deck the creep, but my wife giggled and said, "Oh relax, it doesn't mean a thing. He does that all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 99

By Chris - 01/01/2011 05:06 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 518

You deserved it 3 937

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 757

By grabber - 09/08/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 356

You deserved it 11 009

Mega creep

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 18:00

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 174

You deserved it 205

By pizzafreak18 - 21/06/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 073

You deserved it 54 975

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 878

You deserved it 6 559

Nice try

By bigmouth - 02/08/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 813

You deserved it 76 274

By Anonymous - 20/04/2015 14:45 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 425

You deserved it 2 242

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 374

You deserved it 22 632

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 23 February 2018 19:24

Maybe you should keep those actions at home and not do them in public?

faifai_fml 21

Friday 23 February 2018 21:25

Dude, respect your wife at her job. It's her freaking JOB, for chrissake.

Comments

Akitakat 31

Monday 19 February 2018 21:53

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

TravB 6

Saturday 24 February 2018 8:01

I can't tell why everyone is thumbs downing your comment

SpaceToast 25

Friday 23 February 2018 19:05

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

JustALesbian 16

Friday 23 February 2018 21:22

Well you should let the authorities or owners deal with it. Or the teen could've said something

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 23 February 2018 19:24

Maybe you should keep those actions at home and not do them in public?

Mathalamus 24

Friday 23 February 2018 20:21

You deserve it for doing this in public at all.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 23 February 2018 20:53

Seeing how your wife liked having her ass squeezed in public, maybe the pimply teen could have groped her, too? This is why we don’t do shit like this in public!

Suaria 38

Friday 23 February 2018 21:01

I realize you are joking, but those situations are completely different. A person who you're in a relationship with touching your butt is completely different than a random person touching your butt. Just because you see a person touch another person's butt doesn't mean you are allowed to do the same thing.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 23 February 2018 21:59

You really shouldn’t do that where strangers can see you.

Mungolikecandy 19

Friday 23 February 2018 22:35

For all the teen knew it was a stranger assaulting her.

Razell 13

Sunday 25 February 2018 7:22

Then the teen needed to come up and ask "Hey [waitress], is this guy bothering you?"

Suaria 38

Friday 23 February 2018 21:03

The teenager had the right idea, and we need more people like him. He obviously didn't realize you guys were married and saw it as a man groping a waitress's butt. That has good intentions for what he did.

chosha_fml 26

Saturday 24 February 2018 0:04

And yet he could have just said, “hey, don’t do that,” instead of tackling him.

joeyl1990 28

Saturday 24 February 2018 15:11

Yeah because saying "hey don't do that" will really make a difference.

Rabite 28

Monday 26 February 2018 1:37

Oh I guess the sexual assault problem is solved. Just everybody say "Hey, don't do that!" :)

IHaveThePower 16

Friday 1 October 2021 5:26

Yup. Good kid. Wrong context, but good kid.

faifai_fml 21

Friday 23 February 2018 21:25

Dude, respect your wife at her job. It's her freaking JOB, for chrissake.

Michael A Such 4

Friday 23 February 2018 22:00

Your wife must be quite the dish at the restaurant.

Mungolikecandy 19

Friday 23 February 2018 22:34

The teen witnesses a random man sexually assaulting (as it appears) a waitress who is at work. He tackles the man. Kudos to the teen I say as he stood up to someone who he believed was willing to assault a woman in public.

Razell 13

Sunday 25 February 2018 7:23

Questions aren't hard to ask. "Is this guy bothering you?" would have been a good first move on the teen's part.

ItchySasquatch 9

Friday 23 February 2018 22:56

Boy, awful lot of people in this comment section telling this guy exactly how the relationship he's in works. Squeezing your wife's ass once in a while is sometimes just a cute past time for couples. Lay off the poor guy.

Mathalamus 24

Saturday 24 February 2018 7:25

No. There are some things you never do in public, especially at work. I think the husband got off lightly, actually.

ItchySasquatch 9

Saturday 24 February 2018 13:14

You think being wrongfully tackled is getting off lightly for a quick cutesy moment with your wife. So you think couples that kiss in public should be put to the whip or something then? Everyone shows affection differently, and while this man chose one of the least classy way to show it, he doesn't deserve what happened. The teen might have had the right idea in mind but just viciously attacking like some animal without even bothering to ask any questions first? Seems stupid to me.