You should just do the honorable thing and either refuse the promotion, or get a divorce. Honestly I am inclined to believe that it is best for you to get a divorce. You shouldn't string your spouse along, because if you really loved your spouse, you wouldn't have feelings for your coworker.

What's the problem? Just don't "do" anything that you shouldn't. A friend of mine told me that when he sees a woman that is attractive, he imagines her taking a dump and that tends to cut things short.

Time for a foursome.

That's pretty mature of you both to try to avoid such a situation though.

Why did you admit your feelings? Just nail her! YDI

You need to have a serious talk with your wife about that. The promotion is great and all but it's at the expense of your "Happy Marriage". Also what if your wife was in the boat of choosing between you and another coworker or guy how would you feel hope things work out.

Is your boss Cupid?

OP it sounds like a bad situation and things sound like they're going to get tough. It may serve you both well to discuss it with your significant others if the relationships are as strong as you claim. If not, perhaps the commentators on this thread are correct and it's time for some couples counseling to help strengthen what you have and resolve any doubts. All relationships take work and discipline, and sometimes that means being brutally honest and totally vulnerable with your partner and then working together. And kids? Thinking you have feelings for someone else doesn't mean you chose the wrong partner, that its time to break up or that they're a bad person with relationship issues. It is something that is likely to occur in any long term relationship and your response to it when it happens will be a measure of your maturity.

Still, mad props that you do the right thing to steer clear. Or, at least tried to. Want to at least talk to your wife about it? I think it would only be fair if she knew...

maybe y'all are soul mates who are meant to be together