Intimacy: Wrong place

Wrong place

By anonymous - 05/07/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 707

You deserved it 74 092

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Same thing different taste

Don't knock it until you try it

By MiraR - 07/11/2022 04:00

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex. With my stuffed turtle. On my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 145

By Eeeek - 26/08/2010 21:17 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 127

You deserved it 52 905

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 17:35 - Canada

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 402

You deserved it 12 871

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 256

You deserved it 18 024

By henry feingold - 10/06/2011 04:08 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 507

You deserved it 13 064

By Elle(; - 11/08/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I felt something tickling my neck. Thinking it was him, I ignored it. Just when I was about to climax, I looked down to see a lizard on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 046

You deserved it 45 872

Get out

By Anonymous - 24/05/2020 05:00

Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 342

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 101

You deserved it 42 158

Easily scared

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 17:59 - France

Today, I was having some sexy time with my boyfriend, when suddenly he jumped out of the bed, screaming. Not having my glasses on, it took me few seconds to understand that a voyeurist cockroach was in the bed with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 166

imustbeinsane 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:05

incorporate them

Mirorbo 26

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:08

Save the sex for at home, darling. Or a hotel/motel room! Anywhere else and you're BEGGING for trouble!

Comments

SugaryTears 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:09

they might have been sent by your boss, just saying. even if you did open the cage, they wouldn't go directly to a closet

unluckiestperson_fml 14

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:12

Effins?

loveluver7 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:13

ok of all places u had to pick a janitors closet to **** her. my god dude is ther something like wrong with ur mind.

andycmkennedy 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 18:45

'of all the places'…in a pet shop? where would you go?

RhynoBruZ 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 16:04

heyhey, cmon, 52's just a little jealous he/she doesnt get any

loveluver7 0

Friday 8 July 2011 16:04

shut the **** up that's not true. I'm sure I get more than you.

nfc14 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:25

as long as you're ok size wise they arent going to interrupt

619warrior281 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:29

At least they wern't crickets..

LaChicaBonita 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:37

you're not getting paid to get laid, buddy boy! keep it in your pants until you get home! why are kids so obsessed with sex nowadays anyways?!

Connor_Williams 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:50

who has sex in a pet store?

soulfulemo 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 18:25

hearing animal noises probably turns them on

xFBIxPSYCOTICx 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:58

etleast you took a condom

manda_smith92 3

Tuesday 5 July 2011 16:23

hey the salamanders just wanted a little live **** action!

EmilyFelton98 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 16:42

Lol Imagine The Salamanders FML- Today, This Guy Forgot To Lock Our Cage To Get His Rocks Off With This Girl. We Had To Experience This With Our Own Eyes But Found Out The Cage Wasn't Locked, So We Crawled Up Their Legs. FML