Intimacy: Wrong place

Wrong place

By anonymous - 05/07/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 707

You deserved it 74 092

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Same thing different taste

Don't knock it until you try it

By MiraR - 07/11/2022 04:00

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex. With my stuffed turtle. On my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 145

By Eeeek - 26/08/2010 21:17 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 127

You deserved it 52 905

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 17:35 - Canada

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 402

You deserved it 12 871

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 256

You deserved it 18 024

By henry feingold - 10/06/2011 04:08 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 507

You deserved it 13 064

By Elle(; - 11/08/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I felt something tickling my neck. Thinking it was him, I ignored it. Just when I was about to climax, I looked down to see a lizard on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 046

You deserved it 45 872

Get out

By Anonymous - 24/05/2020 05:00

Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 342

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 101

You deserved it 42 158

Easily scared

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 17:59 - France

Today, I was having some sexy time with my boyfriend, when suddenly he jumped out of the bed, screaming. Not having my glasses on, it took me few seconds to understand that a voyeurist cockroach was in the bed with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 166

imustbeinsane 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:05

incorporate them

Mirorbo 26

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:08

Save the sex for at home, darling. Or a hotel/motel room! Anywhere else and you're BEGGING for trouble!

Comments

iSitt 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 16:55

maybe the salamanders smelled something.

taryn0108 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 16:59

at least something wants your dick besides salamanders.

angelboo 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:17

how romantic

OWNZ 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:25

WTF kind of pet store keeps salamanders in the janitor closet... or am i just stupid and missed something?

hatepineapple 14

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:26

♫ It's not gay if it's in a fifty-three way! ♫♫

Jacobt24 19

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:31

You missed something. She didnt lock the cage the salamanders were in, and they got out and ran in the supply closet where OP was getting some

iSurf_fml 8

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:55

How could that ever be explained to your boss if they would've opened the door in the midst of everything?

Yomomma_720ish 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 18:13

I hope one bit your penis.

soulfulemo 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 18:27

"rudely interrupted"? uhhuh. you know you were using them to spice up the sex..what with all that slime..

blondieblue33 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 18:28

Could you be any more unprofessional? YDI

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The Top

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 39

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 483

You deserved it 11 507

The Top

Today, my supervisor forced me to bring the image of a failed simulation to the group meeting, because he thought it looked funny. So did the others and it's now going on our webpage. I have to provide a scientific description of how I made a mistake in my code. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 747

You deserved it 2 802

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 479

You deserved it 32 577

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 857

You deserved it 62 119

Today, I entered a restaurant just to use the WiFi. In order not to look cheap, I ordered a meal and a beverage. The WiFi didn't work and now I don't have enough money to buy dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 956

You deserved it 12 771

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 441

You deserved it 3 380

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 850

You deserved it 79 904