Miscellaneous: Wurdz is hard

Wurdz is hard

By Holy Testacles - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression, "Knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as, "Kill yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 185

You deserved it 7 963

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Top comments

doubleddun 9

Wednesday 17 October 2012 12:02

That's brilliant

IconicLemon 8

Wednesday 17 October 2012 12:02

HAHAHA. Your's and her face would have been priceless!

Comments

mehhhh112 6

Wednesday 17 October 2012 21:13

This actually made me laugh really hard

Panda_Shy_Haven 17

Wednesday 17 October 2012 22:11

Lmao. Omg. I'm sayin tht from now on whenever someone asks me for something

chevynova1743 4

Wednesday 17 October 2012 22:36

hella game op. where'd you learn? how to be an ass for dumbies? haha your a douche

TheSmoothDude 10

Wednesday 17 October 2012 23:16

^ Swing and a miss, champ.

tobin22 9

Wednesday 17 October 2012 23:18

Amanda todd was on your mind a troller would say

weeabaka 6

Wednesday 17 October 2012 23:32

31 - That's douchebaggery at its finest... But, I can't seem to thumb down someone with red vs blue quotes in their bio.

StrAWWbeRRie 2

Wednesday 17 October 2012 23:56

Haha! That sucks!

internetqueen 1

Thursday 18 October 2012 0:26

I haven't laughed so hard on an FML omg why is this so funny to me

Indiashorty 9

Thursday 18 October 2012 2:26

Wow.

neurodoc 1

Thursday 18 October 2012 4:53

That comment works whether I read it forwards or backwards! Amazing!

SmittyKick 18

Thursday 18 October 2012 2:38

what dafuq did i just read?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 4 766

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 354

You deserved it 5 630

The Top

Today, my mom grabbed my iPhone and threw it from the balcony, because I didn’t cry on the fifth anniversary of our family dog’s death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 112

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 554

You deserved it 24 097

Today, during gym class, I wanted to show off in front of my classmates by doing a headstand in the middle of the gym. I wanted to hold the position, except my shirt came out of my pants and exposed my belly and breasts to all my classmates. Everyone burst out laughing. It was so embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 964

Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 891

You deserved it 78 231

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 248

You deserved it 40 024

Today, while I was reading in a park, a drunk bum started talking to me. After a few minutes of awkward conversation, he said, "You're really pretty, and you have nice eyes, but you have chubby cheeks. What's up with that? Did you eat a lot of peanuts when you were a kid or something?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 347

You deserved it 410