Sex and Intimacy: You coming?

You coming?

By snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 804

You deserved it 8 867

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Same thing different taste

By WorstMedicalBill - 20/11/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 184

You deserved it 21 862

That'll do it

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 351

You deserved it 9 135

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 7 036

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 503

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 262

You deserved it 1 577

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 461

You deserved it 801

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 906

You deserved it 5 152

Do it again

By thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 233

You deserved it 3 201

By bootyislife - 03/02/2015 04:36 - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 259

You deserved it 4 987

By gross - 20/10/2010 16:14 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 289

You deserved it 3 973

TurtleGenius 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:02

Probably the best feeling she got all night...

Phillay632 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:12

Pull out and spray a bodily fluid all over her face and neck, you're even.

Comments

AndrewPao32 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:52

This is from Ron White's new Comedy Central special.

Drunkbunny 2

Friday 24 April 2009 2:52

Maybe she's allergic... to NO FOREPLAY!

tacoma77 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:56

lol shoulda punched her in the back of the head. did she at least make u a sandwhich?

rachel_potter 13

Sunday 26 June 2011 13:52

that's ******* sexist, I bet you're single

Richieq212 0

Friday 24 April 2009 3:10

how is that a fml if i was ******* a girl im into and she sneezed me personaly i woldnt care. and she would probobly try harder after that

ohhhhshizzz 0

Friday 24 April 2009 3:10

Pahah, 1, 2 & 3 got moderated. They were stupid anyway :) OP: that is soo gross, but that would be so embarrasing.

beastmaster82 0

Friday 24 April 2009 3:12

Well, since you're sharing other bodily fluids, I can't understand why that is such an FML. I mean, if she shit herself on accident while riding you, now THAT is an FML.

shardsofmetal 0

Friday 24 April 2009 3:15

#31: I saw that special, and I don't remember this. How far in was it?

ThisRandomChild 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 18:32

'How far in was it?' (giggity)

jamesyboii 0

Friday 24 April 2009 3:16

so i'm assuming all the ladies saying "so a guy can come on a girl's face but a girl can't sneeze on a guy?" WOULD in fact let a guy come on their face otherwise they're some hypocritical bitches. and #24 sperm does not in fact contain mucus you should look things up before you post them on the internet OP-sorry about that one man