Winter: Snow and Funny News

Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around!

Geography

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 22:47 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 555

You deserved it 2 373

By Broon - 25/05/2012 19:55 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 974

You deserved it 2 530

Um… you what now?

By intheairtonight - 25/04/2012 06:22 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 688

You deserved it 3 161

By emma209 - 24/01/2012 18:07 - Canada

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 486

You deserved it 3 240

By Me - 26/11/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, my neighbors coated their house in flashing Christmas lights and blared out "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" all day long. Only 29 days left until Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 542

You deserved it 3 358

By Anonymous - 19/11/2011 19:08 - United States

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 161

You deserved it 6 462

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 07:06 - United States

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 628

You deserved it 6 086

By Grounded - 03/11/2011 09:18 - United States

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 954

You deserved it 3 358

By bethanygirl - 29/10/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, I had to cancel my birthday party because of snow. It's October. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 714

You deserved it 5 053

By freezingggg - 23/09/2011 14:33 - Reserved

Today, like always, my parents are such tightwads that they refused to turn the heating system on, despite the ball-freezing temperatures. I was so cold, I had to resort to warming my hands up over the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 191

You deserved it 3 713

By Badaboom - 23/05/2011 10:54 - Netherlands

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 874

You deserved it 6 343

By gottapee - 26/04/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 696

You deserved it 6 027

By lpspann87 - 25/04/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 631

You deserved it 3 645

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 09:35 - Australia

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 580

You deserved it 28 433

By Biggie - 02/02/2011 14:44 - United States

Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 272

You deserved it 4 373

By CLH - 25/01/2011 18:08 - Canada

Today, I accidentally dropped my engagement ring down a sewer. To my surprise, the sewer water was frozen and my ring sat on top. During my efforts to retrieve it, I had to watch as the ice slowly melted due to the warm day. The ring sank further and further until it was completely gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 451

You deserved it 6 815

By dwhitehouse - 21/01/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 160

You deserved it 2 999

Chilly

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, my window got busted and won't shut properly. I live in a college dorm room and maintenance says they can't fix it for a couple of days. It's below freezing in my dorm and I can see my breath while trying sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 426

You deserved it 2 627

By bitty - 11/01/2011 14:45 - United States

Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 337

You deserved it 6 902

By snowbunny - 11/01/2011 02:03 - United States

Today, I got snowed in. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 024

You deserved it 2 921

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 957

You deserved it 2 981

By stupid - 21/12/2010 15:21 - Ireland

Today, I walked to school in -5 degree weather, snow up to ankles, for an exam. The school had closed and warned all the parents, but mine didn't tell me, because it was "funnier". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 668

You deserved it 4 622

By Anonymous - 02/12/2010 08:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a phone call to say my workplace was closed due to extreme weather conditions. Looking forward to my day off, I then realised the boiler was broken and my house has no heating despite there being a foot of snow outside. I'm spending the day in bed, wearing all my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 726

You deserved it 2 977

By The Christmas Grinch - 18/11/2010 22:33 - Canada

Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 431

You deserved it 3 905

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 16:27 - United States

Today, we had our first rainstorm in weeks. Thirty seconds before it started, my window broke in the "down" position from overuse, since last week the air conditioning in my car gave out. Now I have a hot, wet car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 396

You deserved it 3 179

By Username - 28/05/2010 06:20 - France

Today, it was the hottest day of the year so I opened my sun roof. The hottest day of the year was followed by the biggest storm of the year. I forgot to close my sun roof and my car is now flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 175

You deserved it 32 621

By grann - 15/03/2010 01:39 - United States

Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 888

You deserved it 26 333

By JoshuaRob - 03/03/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 200

You deserved it 8 031

By lonelyashell - 02/03/2010 20:04 - United States

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 903

You deserved it 5 164

By Chris Altenbach - 23/02/2010 20:55 - United States

Today, I got off from work and noticed that the weather finally warmed up after the recent snowstorm. I hopped into my car and rolled down the windows. When I opened the sun roof, a foot of snow came falling into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 427

You deserved it 45 952

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The Top

Stop everything you're doing right now, there's an (almost) naked lady in today's illustration! Plus, there's a puppet AND doctors. It's the perfect illustration, made by Gemma Correll, our British artist of the day. Check out her interview! ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 9

Today, my sister bought my five year-old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 7 970

The Top

Today, while house sitting for my mother and stepfather, their elderly dog passed away. They live in such a remote location, the closest open vet office is a 2 hour drive, and the local one opens in 10 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 165

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 100

You deserved it 1 568

Today, I received an email from the secretary of my university. Even though I only have half a year left before I graduate, I'm still required to attend all the lessons for the entire year. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 86

Today, I dragged my entire family to the beach for a swim. I don’t know what was up with the tides but the water was all over the place as soon as we came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 41

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 270

You deserved it 4 743

Today, I got so bored that I ordered my DVD drawer from awesomest to non-awesomest. I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 934

You deserved it 6 830