Intimacy: Bad ******** - FML

Bad ********

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Spicy

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 662

You deserved it 55 827

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 142

Fireball

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 22:00

Today, I went into work to finish one last task, but decided to also have a fire in the pit. I grabbed the wrong can of fuel and ended up taking a fireball to the face, singed the hair on my head, arms, and I have to shave my beard off… Well, what’s left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 1 018

By Smokey9 - 25/07/2011 15:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 610

You deserved it 62 557

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Spicy

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 286

You deserved it 59 661

It's lit

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 00:01

Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 19:58 - United States - Everett

Spicy

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 247

You deserved it 8 735

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 860

You deserved it 8 410

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 193

You deserved it 12 661

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 676

You deserved it 27 503

Next

Top comments

razi1 20

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

The things we do in our boredom

enddmd 27

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

Boredom combined with anything never ends well.

Comments

razi1 20

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

The things we do in our boredom

GodPart2 20

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:03

Gives 'smoked nuts' a whole new meaning!

niallo 23

Wednesday 26 March 2014 2:26

I have to admit, I've Never been that bored.

halcyondaze 11

Wednesday 26 March 2014 3:57

I love how your pro pic is the xx

thatssomia 12

Wednesday 26 March 2014 4:14

please get a scrabble board...

koreamaniac101 7

Saturday 29 March 2014 13:38

#7 Had 69 Likes, how fitting.

Lunasis 14

Sunday 11 May 2014 20:35

sir that's not the intended use!

enddmd 27

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:57

Boredom combined with anything never ends well.

Traitoro 9

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:31

Boredom has led to MANY revelations and amazing ideas throughout history. Look up Vsauce on YouTube and look for his boredom video.

Welshite 39

Tuesday 25 March 2014 23:58

At least your pubes are nice and straightened now. Girls love that.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:25

Girls like looking at the penile equivalent of a shaggy dog?

Welshite 39

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:29

Well I've never gotten any complaints. They call the Shaggy Dog rather adorable, and will sometimes tie a pretty pink bow on.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:37

I guess I could understand it, if they have this whole grooming/conformation show fetish.

kozzard 17

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:45

Gives "Best in Show" a new, disturbing, meaning

asparagus12 21

Wednesday 26 March 2014 3:00

Brazilian blowout!

hamzor 5

Wednesday 26 March 2014 20:53

Now plait your pubes out of boredom.

Simbaby 23

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:01

Boredom and curiosity doesn't go well together.

ChristianH39 30

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:36

Boredom, curiousity, and heat sources REALLY don't go well together

Marlee141717 9

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:02

Boredom and anything dont go very well together. Hope it it heals quickly!

BirdieCurls 25

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:20

#6... see #2 for verification.

feven 32

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:03

Ouch....

Pentium_4 27

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:06

you could have just rubbed one out like a normal bored guy

Pat77235 8

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:08

Blow drying your pubic hair: not cool

J3R3MYY 14

Wednesday 26 March 2014 7:22

I'm sorry but that was a bad pun

botanistjessica 24

Wednesday 26 March 2014 17:00

I thought it was pretty funny

jigglypuff34 16

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:08

Next time read a book when you're bored.

Marley_000 14

Wednesday 26 March 2014 23:45

Might I recommend; "How to be lovely: the Audrey Hepburn way of life"

illegalbeagle69 23

Friday 28 March 2014 2:27

50 shades of burnt scrotum..

CorpsmanUp88 21

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:09

I'm sure everyone will deny it but we all have all done something like this in extreme boredom.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 26 March 2014 0:42

I don't know about you but I haven't burned my balls in boredom yet. Usually just jack off or play games. Maybe I should spice things up, try both at the same time.

Keywords

Transportation Poopoo peepee Cars Health Awkward Dentist Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Clothes Work Job interview Miscellaneous Weird Holidays Family Vacation Parents AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Money

The Top

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 619

You deserved it 15 052

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 1 921

The Top

Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 374

You deserved it 4 609

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 773

You deserved it 2 879

Today, I’m a short but decently attractive male but I can’t gain enough confidence to approach women, because of the trauma from female classmates treating me terribly in high school when I was still short, but also still going through puberty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 214

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 992

You deserved it 10 012

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 457

You deserved it 15 027

Today, I asked my girlfriend to prom. Instead of saying yes, she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 911

You deserved it 341