ouch

fml

why would someone wanna be with someone stupid?

ouch ya get a new bf I would be pissed

why are you overly dumb or pretty smart?

Wow I feel sorry for you OP. He's a prick. :/

lmaooo but atleast I like trains and blue coloured things :)

Lol I'm kinda the same way. gotta mold their minds. but stupid girls are ****** annoying so I'd want one just barely dumber than me.

Stupid girls are a pain in the ass, I can't stand them. they're just good for one night stands lol.

strange I remember seeing you on one of the older FMLs like a really long time ago though! haha

aww true love.

Lol that's so sad!

and that's when you say "I can totally relate. I broke up with my ex because his penis was soo big! but I like teeny microscopic ones. that's why I have you babe." and smile and walk away :p

Wow. Tell him your just dating him so when you two break up it won't be hard to upgrade.

I'm surprised she could comprehend what he said

OP, are you blonde?? I kid. I kid. :P

He must be stupid and feel awkward around smart people. He is obviously stupid enough to make the comment he did... hope he's rich!! Many of my friends want a guy who is rich an stupid!

the new iPhone just got published. just got the email

hope he's great in bed :) I mean what els are bf for? i kid. I kid.

hahhah #37 I was gonna say the same thing. OP, you need a new boyfriend.

54 me too! and I just saw it on the news

I'm sure he was kidding...lol.

did he also mention how pretty she was and that she was out of his league and that's also why you're perfect for him?

so your quite stupid I guess.. orrrr he could have been messin around with you

say your ex had too big of a dick but, hes perfect :)

good idea

You're pretty!

I would have told him my last bfs dick was too big and I needed one with a small dick(: and that I had mistaken his small head for a dick and then break up!

awhh #37 already said it. **** sorry lol

beat him like Bobby beat Whitney

Don't you just hate the feeling you get when you look in the bottom of the bag and find you're out of gummy worms? :(

OP atleast he is being honest.

103- yes. :( it breaks my heart. Anyways, OP, break up with him. or go off on this really big equation that'll confuse him and make him face melt off. then feed that puddle to a bear and wait till it ***** out his remains and laugh, laugh hard, for you are superior. .....sorry about all that. XD

Sean I hate when i am eating gummy bears and that happens. But I buy the big package from Costco.

Yeah I need to start doing that. the little packs run out too fast.

I love gummy worms. the power makes my mouth bleed when I eat too many, though. oh well. still to good.

yo seanreddog put your cat pics up man!!! WTF!!

I will tonight maybe What kinda pic do ya want, fat pussy, wet pussy, pink pussy?

OMGZORS, it's Tokio! FLAME ON, everybody! Yeah, I'm joking, for whomever doesn't recognize me (which is unbelievable — I mean, it's me!).

lol man surprise me with any kind of pussy you got

lol all that pussy talk makes me think of the other kind. Gosh, I am so nasty.

i like you

117- I am confused as to if I should be offended. if you're questioning my sexuality, I'm straight. I'm no lesbian. rawr- I love you in the no **** way. XD and Sean- all your ******* are beautiful.

tokio I love you too.

Well, you were smart enough to catch on - you'll be smart enough to find someone new...

**** all u at least she got someone, **** him bitch

uhmm, #20 is ripppppeedd. yumm, ;D

Oh, no, Tokio, quite the opposite. I was poking fun at those who flame you (oh... I just got how you misinterpreted it. Poor wording on my part). I'm not one to judge people on how they look, particularly on a website. I can't help but wonder how long it took you to perfect the drawings, though.

what 130 said :) ooh la la! Sammy loves her some abs lol.

Sam my love hi!!! lol

hey rawrcupcakesz i remember when people used to say ur pics were fake I no there not but y did people think that

134 I don't know how it all started. but I am not fake as you can see in the picture.

134: cause some bitch decided to talk shit. rawr!!!: baby! hello!:D lookin mighty sexy today, like always :) lol we're such a good couple.

Legitimate duckface is still duckface.

yeah I knew they wernt fake rawr cuz u keep changing them

where's the real rawrcupcake?

yeah I don't like keeping the same picture for a long time. damn my picture looks like shit. baby I missed you all day!! lol

no rawr ur pics look fine

mind if I say... you just lost the ******* GAME!!!!!!!

143 what?

140 that account got deleted:( I'll pm you the story.

the game... it's where u don't think or speak the words "the game" so by reading that u lost the game... it all restarts at midnight, so if u think of the game after 12 u lose again...

oh thanks 147

yupp, no problem :)

aww thanks anna. Just got tired of some people calling me fake

Yupp three people. And great looking too lol. you should I'll take another picture with your name on it like I did with Chris.

lol he is my babe so i don't know.

Is it just me or do I see the same FML posted over and over every day? Boyfriend insults girlfriend Parents don't care about underage sex Shaved Pubes etc. WHO IS MODERATING THESE IN!!!

131- Oh, okay. XD Sorry for misreading that. I'm glad you have respect for for people. kudos to you. 143- damn you for making me lose the game. D: hahaha. XD

sorry rawr, I was fighting with my dad.

131- oh, and why drawings? on my face? they aren't really that difficult. the stitches, atleast. the spike thing was a bit difficult at first, but once you outline it, it's not that bad.

*what what what in the butt, fool.

haha I doubt that. he is too good looking for me. plus we are just friends. Sam want me to kick his butt?

lmao. Sean, your pussy collage is awesome!

Y'all like my *******?

I bet your dad is a big pussy! That explains why you like them so much Sean

My dad? yeah, he's Clifford the big red pussy.

please do :( I can't stand my family, I look at them and they're all successful. but they look at me as a mistake.

When you do remember to come see chris and I. Where do you live? Okay I'll be on my way. I just have to find my fairy wings so I can fly.

Hahahaha

Sam I look at you and all I see is success :D

OP you did not slap him? That is unbelievable. 

OMFG! Anna you just became the coolest person on fml with the words "go vikes"

*props to 190*

Anna I been there for two days just to see my long distance (ex) boyfriend.

lol rawr:) and thanks music, other wifey, and story:)

104-you're stupid. just being honest jk jk. im just showing you it still hurts even if you are being honest

I live in St. Michael, probably have driven through if you've ever gone to St. Cloud on I-94 it's like half an hour NW of Minneapolis Hardcore Vikes fan I shut the game off and just blankly stared for a good 10 minutes after the kicked that field goal

well maybe he just didn't want a girl who wants to do work all the time or makes him feel really stupid

Yah I know it's over and done with but seriously how much did the saints pay the refs? Michael Jordan couldn't have caught that ball on the PI call on Ben Leber No PI call when Shiancoe actually had his undershirt ripped when barely caught a one handed catch They didn't see the ball come loose on the 4th down play in OT WTF Ok rant over, redemption opening day, can't wait

music is my life is totally right. there was some shitty calls on that game. and I'm not saying that just cause I'm a colts fan. it's true. I'm honest when it comes to calls. and btw, music is my life, you're gorgeous. :)

p

I'm not that big of a football game but to me it looks like refs pick favorite team and don't call nothing on them but then again I really don't watch football

Ok literally I will wear a Packers jersey during every game if Favre doesn't come back, that's how strongly I think he's going to be under center opening day

oh Rose, sorry for not answering earlier. my name is Jessica. :) you can call me Jess though.

197 no it doesn't hurt because I already knew that lol

FML for him saying that. YDI if you don't dump his ass!!!

Sean I can't get over how much I love your new picture:)

Yeah.

first born is right and Sean that's alot of *******

Yah I second the motion put forth by Sean Hear, hear

gummy your other pic was Hellas better Ari quit being a creeper and stop txn me random shit :P :D. blow some Os outta this hookah :)))

is 108. a guy or girl I hope it's a guy yea ur a guy rent u... u look like a guy if ur a girl ur... I hope ur a guy but iam pretty sure u r

hahahhaha Ari I am king cus I win and no buzz lmao. my writing won't make 100 percent sense cus I chugged warm beers lmao

#229 - Are you afraid of using the "Y" and "O" keys on your ratchet keyboard appropriately?

they always do even while intoxicated lol thx to auto correct lmao :D I hear the buflight callin me from the trunk lol

chris!!! I miss you babeyou only like the other one because it has your name on it. I'll put that one later on once idonthate looks at this. your drinking the beer you were going to give me yesterday? warm beer is nasty! and when are we going to drink so I can say again "I am not drunk I just can't walk straight"

ahah gummy yes it is the beat and yes I am lol. I think I need more, nxt weekend for sure gummy Ari you sound like a lame who gives up ahahaha an yeaa if people are talking shut I must know lmao.

Ugh, all my exs team up to text/call me at the sametime. when I thought this night couldn't get worst. I feel sick now.

1 ignore them gummy 2 warm beer gets u drunk faster 3 Ima go drink some more

forgiveness. does no such thing lol and Ari too late you said it, and gummy has been mine I told u back off lmao aaaaa nnneeeeddddd bbbbeeeerrrrrrrrrreee jk I need to finish drinking tho lol :)

babe you forgot something 4. Pick Rose up so we can get drunk lol.

lol gummy if I do that I won't go home at all till 2 pm's ish mañana lol. all bad >;) lol plus I said next weekend when I'm offffff

Damn 9 Youre Bombb((:

1 I doubt I'll ever come you're gonna be stuck in tejas mija 2 even if u did find ur way here I'll hide her 3 lmao you would like that wouldn't you lmao 4 nuff said :D

Babe you mean around 4ish haha. remind me to bring flip flops lol WTF why are you guys fighting lol this phone calls are getting annoying. if I get one more phone call from my exs I will break my phone.

Ari no u ain't and yea you would lol gummy eh it's my day off mañana so idgaf :D Ari yes I can watch me gummy cus she loves fighting with me? n no you won't cus I can't tx you then di di didiiiiuii lol

What babe? I WANT GUMMY BEARS! I just throw my phone. Damn, nothing happen.

uh gummy idk lol I'm confuzzled now :/

Anna, let's wrestle.

yeah you confuse me sometimes lol. I think they would get the hint after the 15 ignored called.

Ari you get 0 I get 100 and gummy it's ok I tend to do that ;) lol and some people are just dumbfuxxxxxxks lol my face is kinda numb :0 good sign lol

Can I play too. I want points lol

around stop trippen I told u I don't hate ever and rose you are the points duh lol

dude Raleigh is buff! lol 229 sounds highhh ass fuckkk but shutup man, no shit talkers pleease.

well can I pretend I have points? what does the winner get beside me?

sure lol and I get jolly rancher regardless ahahaha my batts gonna die :O :( ): ;( ); D;

I want a jolly rancher ;( "your mamma so dumb she thought a jolly rancher was a gay cowboy!"

ur perfect for each other then

aww sorry I forgot to buy you some yesterday. I will buy you some jolly ranchers very time we hang out.

YES! you're my new favorite wife lol, cause you buy me candy yum yum:)

pshhh whoever is telling OP to dump her bf is foolish!!! keep him OP, not many people will keep someone dumb :p

Sam that was for chris. But if you love them then I can buy them for you.

lol yay! win win:)

no Sam you loose cus I keep em all fuxck the police,ugh swear they have nothing better to do ....

I am going to kick their butt babe don't worry about it.

 and my radio broke, the one I use to charge my itouch 

282- lmao. 229- the fml community has dicussed this before. too bad. you must now ponder for the rest of your life whether I make eggs or sperm. tear. ;-;

what a lil bum hole.

nevermind, read it wrong. Well he's a douche :D

so I scream for candy... what do I do for you?

You probably gave her crabs ;).

Ugh you do nothing for me. :p

My cuffs are better lol.

yes, he's a keeper eh?(:

^ This. It is just barely possible he was joking. Not likely but possible.