Love: Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I...

By NotRussian - 03/10/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 012

You deserved it 3 452

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 142

You deserved it 7 788

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 361

You deserved it 31 748

By dateless - 21/09/2012 11:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 2 365

Reverse Uno card

By BlackCheetah101 - 04/11/2009 06:51 - Australia

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 481

You deserved it 9 909

Is this catfishing?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 201

Don't be that guy

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 03:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was set up on my first blind date since my divorce. My expectations were low, but when she showed up, she was a smoking hot. She was way out of my league, she was delightful and kind throughout the date, but my low confidence shined through. That night she acquired an expensive dinner and a stalker. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 432

Bland date

By tomtomcutiepoof - 13/03/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 259

You deserved it 7 635

By ohforchristssake - 21/09/2015 02:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 927

You deserved it 2 155

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 008

You deserved it 2 652

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 05/08/2014 02:00 - United States - New Ulm

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 875

You deserved it 4 615

Buttsexpirate 9

Monday 3 October 2011 12:01

Aww you to are already making decisions together! Haha don't fall too much in love you crazy kids it's only the first date.

abceasyas123abc 12

Monday 3 October 2011 12:04

Maybe this was his way of escaping a bad date which was about to get worse?

Comments

Buttsexpirate 9

Monday 3 October 2011 12:01

Aww you to are already making decisions together! Haha don't fall too much in love you crazy kids it's only the first date.

gntfmlingnow 12

Monday 3 October 2011 12:26

She must have been boring as hell for him to pull out an excuse like that.

LiveLaughFML 10

Monday 3 October 2011 13:19

"i don't understand the handwriting." "they're Russian." "i don't care how fast they were going!"

abceasyas123abc 12

Monday 3 October 2011 12:04

Maybe this was his way of escaping a bad date which was about to get worse?

actingbro 3

Tuesday 4 October 2011 4:35

I'm using that next time I have a bad date lol

ChrisTheCalm 9

Monday 3 October 2011 12:04

WTF? Time to leave ...

NomOnShroomz 14

Monday 3 October 2011 14:32

WTF? Why would she leave her place?

max_wilder 9

Tuesday 4 October 2011 4:20

WTF? Those magazines actually exist!

ChrisTheCalm 9

Tuesday 4 October 2011 13:31

Yeah why would she do that. I was talking about leaving that guy. You're a moron.

Celesta 11

Monday 3 October 2011 12:06

Well did you help him?

Abdul888 16

Monday 3 October 2011 14:58

haha probably yeah just to act as if she didn't care.

sexylol_fml 4

Tuesday 4 October 2011 5:00

I would of just picked the ugliest one!

melikesfml 11

Tuesday 1 May 2012 22:01

44 nice pict. Straight off google images? Thats where my friend got that pict too

Fekenator 0

Monday 3 October 2011 12:06

Hey, he's just looking for a good third in bed. Cut a guy some slack!

mishkaroni 15

Monday 3 October 2011 12:06

That's always a sign the date went well

indistructo 3

Monday 3 October 2011 12:10

look at OP's username lol

nonelikeworms 0

Monday 3 October 2011 12:10

They have those? I have no idea how to get one.

saIty 17

Monday 3 October 2011 12:12

"Ooo the one with the flamethrower looks nice!"

btnhdude 0

Monday 3 October 2011 12:13

In russia, these jokes are new!

Keywords

Parenting Miscellaneous Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Relatable Work Awkward Embarrassing Transportation Cars Sports Health Accident Mental health Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist

The Top

Stop everything you're doing right now, there's an (almost) naked lady in today's illustration! Plus, there's a puppet AND doctors. It's the perfect illustration, made by Gemma Correll, our British artist of the day. Check out her interview! ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 9

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 180

The Top

Today, at my store, I had an old man violently accuse me of charging him for an extra pack of 99¢ Mounds candy yesterday. He held up my line for 10 minutes, fighting me about it. I didn't even work yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 94

Today, I went on a coffee date with a man I met online. His "friend" had tagged along. We were having a good conversation, until the friend pulls out his laptop and says, "So let me tell you a little bit about our travel business," and talked about a pyramid scheme for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 931

You deserved it 1 380

Today, my boyfriend is sulking because he actually thought two weeks paternity leave was going to be our new baby sleeping 18 hours a day while he played his Xbox, and get paid not to go to work every day. He was wrong, it’s been three days, and he’s exhausted already and whining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 243

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 302

You deserved it 3 561

Today, for our last kid-free dinner before the birth of our 4th child, we chose a Japanese hibachi restaurant. They sat us with a family with a toddler, who started screaming at the first flame trick, causing the chef to cease to do anything entertaining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 781

You deserved it 4 595

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 085

You deserved it 26 033

Same thing different taste

Next!

Bat out of hell

Reverse Uno card

Is this catfishing?

Don't be that guy

Bland date

Been there, done that

Top comments

Comments