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All the FMLs

Could it be possible…?

By so pray to ariel about it, dipshits - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 216

You deserved it 5 158

It's my passion

By Anonymous - 26/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent a Whatsapp message to my boss that was meant for my coworker. It said, “I’m so over this job, I can’t wait to quit!” I tried deleting it immediately, but the notification pinged right as he was sitting next to me in a meeting. He smirked and said, “Good to know you’re so passionate about this job.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 109

Not fair!

By Anonymous - 26/03/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 31

There was an attempt…

By Anonymous - 26/03/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I tried to flirt with a guy at the gym by commenting on his headphones, saying, “Nice headphones, you must be into music.” He stared at me blankly and said, “I’m not wearing any headphones, these are just my ears.” I swear I heard him laugh as I backed away, defeated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 173

College rules

By littlekellilee - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 093

You deserved it 2 581

Coated in embarrassment

By Kate - 26/03/2025 03:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I ran to hug my mom at the airport, but when I stepped back, I realized I was hugging a total stranger who just so happened to be wearing the same coat as her usual coat. She smiled awkwardly as I backed away and said, “Sorry, I thought you were my mom.” The next level of embarrassment came when I looked up and saw my actual mom staring at me in horror from a few feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 218

Sunscreen season is open

By Anna - 26/03/2025 00:00 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 338

Stolen valor

By ImpsonFamily - 26/03/2025 08:00 - Australia

Today, a manager was credited for coming up with a safety idea. This is the same idea I brought up weeks prior and was told it was silly by said manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 41

Plumbed out

By Jeff101 - 25/03/2025 20:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I tried to fix a leaking pipe under the sink. I watched a YouTube tutorial and was feeling confident that I could get the job done. Two hours later, half of the kitchen was practically flooded because I forgot to cut the water off, and scrambled to actually find the main valve, then I had to call an emergency plumber, who showed up, laughed, and fixed it in five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 389

Hyperloop

By disfordiploma - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 547

You deserved it 28 444

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 106

Vaguepost

By Anonymous - 25/03/2025 07:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I’m about to lose my marbles. I can’t speak up because I need to keep the peace, but if I don’t it’s gonna enrage me to the point where I explode, so I’m essentially teetering on a wall with shit on one side and fire on the other. FML. Just FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 219

Screen time

By I hate myself - 25/03/2025 09:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I realized I had been staring at my phone for an hour without doing anything else. When I looked up, I noticed my mom had been standing in the doorway, shaking her head at me for a solid five minutes. I hadn’t noticed her. I wish I could use this laser focus to study for my college exams instead of wasting my time doomscrolling Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 361

Butterfly

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to being in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 452

You deserved it 2 852

Explosive

By Lolo - 25/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I went to the library to study an upcoming exam. I sat in a quiet corner and was feeling focused. Suddenly, I sneezed so loudly that the entire library went silent. I could feel the stares of every student on me as I tried to pretend I didn’t just disrupt the entire study session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 111

Hangry

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 19:00 - Canada

Today, McDonald's screwed up my order 3 whole times. GIVE ME MY NUGGETS PLEASE. HOW CAN SOMEONE MAGICALLY FORGET 40 NUGGETS? FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 128

Cute kitty

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, after I'd ordered a cute dress online for an upcoming date, I tried it on, only to realise it was more of a glorified napkin than a dress. The tag online had said “One size fits all.” I now have a dress that fits my cat better than it fits me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 139

I love your work!

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was in a bodega when I spotted a celebrity I’ve had a huge crush on for years. I decided to go up and introduce myself, but instead of saying something cool, I panicked and shouted, "I love your cereal!" They looked confused, and I immediately realized I was staring at the wrong person, just someone who just looked a lot like them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 413

Realistic

By thesitter - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see, but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 549

You deserved it 8 261

Tight knit family

By Nic - 24/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out my oldest brother is getting married in two weeks. I heard about it through one of my two sisters, who pretty much helped end his last marriage, and who he hasn’t spoken to in 3 years. She wanted to complain about the invite taking so long. I still haven’t been invited, and I thought we were on good terms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 60

Monday monday

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I opened my lunch at work to discover that my sandwich was a soggy mess. The Tupperware I'd put it in was a piece of crap, and all the mayo had leaked out. I tried to salvage it but then spilled the whole thing in my lap. I ended up eating my lunch with a plastic fork, and even my fingers, like an angry animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 110

Wreckless

By Worthless woman - 24/03/2025 17:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I came home from a work trip, expecting the house to be a wreck. Imagine my shock when I walked in and it was cleaner than I've ever seen. When I sputtered in surprise, my fiance shrugged and said, "I work better alone." Guess I'm just a fucking hindrance, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 452

AAA, hello?

By JFC! - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was forced to look on in utter horror as an old lady backed out of her parking space, kept going well past the turning point, and slammed straight into my car, putting a dent in the front and shattering the headlights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 047

You deserved it 3 150

Lonesome tonight

By FriendzonedAFBoi - 23/03/2025 19:00 - United States

Today, I realized that in order to get a girl, I have to lose 100lbs and/or get facial reconstruction. If I meet a girl, we get close, I do everything to make her happy, only to be told, “I only like you as a friend.” I also get told that I’d make a “great boyfriend” yet they don’t choose me. Being overlooked sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 282

My good boy

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 14:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband is divorcing me because I refused to sign off on the paperwork to break our kids’ trust funds or mortgage our house in order to pay for surgery for his 12 year-old dog. Yeah, it’s not like our kids need a future or a place to live or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 157

We meet again

By laprochainefoisjerestealamaison - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - France - Montpellier

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 939

You deserved it 5 178

I'm outta here

By Not your maid - 23/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend screamed at me for not cleaning his son's bedroom. The kid is 13 years-old, and there's nothing physically or mentally wrong with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 88

Waste of time

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 82

He giveth and he taketh away

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, someone at work left 10 unopened beers after hours. I’m not much of a drinker, but free is free, so I took them home during my lunch break. After work, I left my new phone on top of my car, forgot about it, drove off, and it smashed in the middle of the road. Looks like I’m drinking those beers tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 483

Same thing

By fuckel4 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - El Dorado

Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 764

You deserved it 5 546

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 079

You deserved it 3 526

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying, "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 043

You deserved it 3 474

The Top

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 277

You deserved it 3 041

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 243

You deserved it 6 524

Today, my "friends" and I were supposed to go out to eat to celebrate finishing the last day of school, but with a full day of work first, I decided to go buy them donuts. They decided to ditch me while I was gone, and go early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 974

You deserved it 917

Today, our wedding venue canceled on us, leaving us 8 months to find another in peak foliage season. My parents contacted the local news over the ordeal, but they're using my name and picture to make me look like a whiny brat who didn’t get her way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 069

You deserved it 1 239

Today, my 10-year-old brother won the poem contest at his school. Since then he won’t stop bugging me with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 597

You deserved it 8 289

Today, my mom wanted a pat on the back for putting away some bottles that were clogging up the kitchen bench. She put them away by putting them on top of the dishwasher for me to deal with. They were from a trip she took over Christmas. It’s now March. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 88