Miscellaneous and Food: Monday monday - FML

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Monday monday

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I opened my lunch at work to discover that my sandwich was a soggy mess. The Tupperware I'd put it in was a piece of crap, and all the mayo had leaked out. I tried to salvage it but then spilled the whole thing in my lap. I ended up eating my lunch with a plastic fork, and even my fingers, like an angry animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 118

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Same thing different taste

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By Klingon - 04/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I woke up late and in a rush, I grabbed what I thought was a container of leftover spaghetti from the refrigerator to take to work. At lunch, I opened it to find it wasn't spaghetti, but raw marinated chicken my roommate had prepped for dinner. I ended up eating a vending machine sandwich that tasted like cardboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 497

By Magaña.i.am - 16/04/2019 16:00

Today, I was halfway through eating a what I though was a delicious sandwich, when I turned it over and saw nasty green mold on the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 555

By welcometomylife - 23/05/2017 12:00 - Germany - Hanover

Today, after a shitty day, I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. When I grabbed the salt container, the bottom lid came off and the salt went everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 942

You deserved it 376

Wealth gap

By Anonymous - 06/01/2023 08:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 1 309

Spice up your life!

By Anonymous - 26/01/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 121

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 957

You deserved it 365

By stephiexbabexx - 15/01/2010 21:27 - United States

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 827

You deserved it 39 482

By Sara - 03/10/2012 03:33 - United States - Manassas

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 279

You deserved it 1 826

The temptation of the fries

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, despite trying to lose weight for months and making progress, I went out to lunch with coworkers and ended up eating a huge burger and fries. When I got back to the office, I noticed that I'd spilled ketchup all over my shirt. Now I not only feel guilty about the food I ate but I also look like a slob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 351

By Jake Leiter - 20/03/2016 18:12 - United States - Grantham

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 001

You deserved it 1 235

Next

Top comments

Yudith 24

Monday 24 March 2025 17:53

To be fair, we would expect you to eat a sandwich with your fingers.

Comments

Chazzster 28

Monday 24 March 2025 17:52

If you packed it, YDI. If someone else packed it then FML.

Yudith 24

Monday 24 March 2025 17:53

To be fair, we would expect you to eat a sandwich with your fingers.

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The Top

Today, I’m now so unfit, I had to stop halfway through sex with my wife to catch my breath, and in the end we just gave up, as clearly neither of us was having an orgasm today. I don’t get it, I weigh exactly 11 stone and exercise regularly, but I have no stamina and shit lungs. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 355

Today, my girlfriend keeps asking me to get her name tattooed on my chest. At first I thought she wanted a romantic gesture, but now she asks me to do it so often, it’s starting to feel more like she wants to cattle brand me as my owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 163

The Top

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone, then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it said, "I'm here for the quicky." Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 272

You deserved it 4 987

Today, my manager informed me that I will not be completing my job training because I'll be transferring to a different store, and if they want me to work there, that's their problem. Today, I also found out that the new store will not accept me as a transfer unless I've already been trained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 372

You deserved it 2 449

Today, I went to a party. I tried dancing in public for the first time ever. Judging by the whispers, stares, and giggles, I'm never doing it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 687

You deserved it 5 198

Today, I came home to find my dad crying. Turns out my parents are getting divorced because my mom had an affair. With a teacher at my school. A female teacher. And the school isn't going to fire her because she's a good teacher. Every day at school I'm going to have to see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 423

You deserved it 4 049

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 629

You deserved it 4 966

Today, my friend needed to talk out bad feelings. Then she urged me to open up as well. I hate doing it, but it only seemed fair, so I confessed my deep insecurities. Not only did she agree with everything, but she also helpfully added that I'm boring, have no life, and all my dreams are unattainable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 839

You deserved it 210