Miscellaneous: Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 13:12 - Belgium

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 349

You deserved it 2 863

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By itchybollos - 16/09/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 3 346

By Not-pregnant - 20/04/2014 17:21 - United States - Melbourne

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 619

You deserved it 4 888

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 3 691

By Nick Pat - 30/09/2015 13:13

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 959

By Dear Lord Save Me - 04/01/2015 03:56 - United Kingdom - Merthyr Tydfil

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 157

You deserved it 3 306

Cart Narcs will get ya!

By May - 10/01/2021 20:01

Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 266

Toxic much?

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 645

You deserved it 5 064

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 243

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 773

You deserved it 4 993

By wowdadreally - 23/12/2014 20:46 - United States - College Station

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 715

You deserved it 6 476

Next

Top comments

Sebastian2022 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:21

You should've said "Sorry Dad, they're out do you're league, but they're sure as hell in mine."

Johnnycake23 42

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:21

Can't have a conscious in the pimp game!

Comments

Sebastian2022 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:21

You should've said "Sorry Dad, they're out do you're league, but they're sure as hell in mine."

Sebastian2022 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:25

Out of you're league*

RobinGoodfellow 47

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:25

Are we assuming OP is a lesbian or what?

cole_tyler42 21

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:26

"No, Dad, you're cramping MY style."

LeashaJoy5595 28

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:34

OP is a girl... Not saying she couldn't be lesbian, but she's probably not if the dad is trying to get at them. Don't wanna have a number contest with dad

Vegetarian27 24

Sunday 1 February 2015 10:57

*out of your league

1dvos_grl3 21

Sunday 1 February 2015 21:00

#22 I believe he already tried to correct it. it's more like "*your".

Johnnycake23 42

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:21

Can't have a conscious in the pimp game!

ShowMeKay 20

Sunday 1 February 2015 9:03

#2 I think the word you were looking for was "conscience." Conscious means something completely different lol.

gobiteme2 34

Monday 2 February 2015 0:36

Don’t think he’s acting like a pimp, more like a john

stupidface15 16

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:23

before i vote on this fml, id like to know, how hot were these chicks? scale of 1-10

cole_tyler42 21

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:25

They're from Belgium, so likely a 10.

flufee2 27

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:23

Thug life

iSativa 24

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:24

Who picks up "chicks" while shopping?

Morning_fml 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:25

Someone obviously as fly as OP's dad.

stupidface15 16

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:25

THIS GUY

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Sunday 1 February 2015 8:47

Gotta learn to multi-task my friend. And it's easier to pick up chick's in non-traditional settings, in places like bars they're on high alert and less easy prey.

PenguinBitch 43

Sunday 1 February 2015 8:58

Bill Cosby knows. ^

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Sunday 1 February 2015 9:09

The Cosby ALWAYS knows...

PossiblyInDanger 24

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:31

Plenty of chicks like guys with kids.

jkp1291 25

Sunday 1 February 2015 7:05

*OP then proceeds to pick up all the chicks themselves.*

youngindian 10

Sunday 1 February 2015 8:50

We'll maybe that's a sign?

tranced_ 45

Sunday 1 February 2015 10:38

time to bring in your mom!

iwanttogotoparis 26

Sunday 1 February 2015 11:48

Tell him he's not their type

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Health Awkward Dentist Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Clothes Work Job interview Miscellaneous Weird Family Holidays Vacation AITA Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Money

The Top

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because my ex tells every girl I go out with that I cheated on her. She DMs them screenshots of what I did. I know I’m no saint, but all that was 6 months ago, and it was an accident. I can’t change the past, but I can be sorry for what I did. I just can’t win in this situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 968

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 684

You deserved it 9 289

The Top

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 157

You deserved it 7 751

Today, the guy I really like told me that I look exactly like Kathy Bates. I'm only 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 213

Today, I read that food cravings are only supposed to last a couple of minutes. I have been craving and dreaming about pizza for a month straight, and the urge is only getting stronger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 242

Today, I was interacting with someone on a video game, and the topic somehow got switched to mental illness. When I told him about my problems, he was very sympathetic and understanding. A complete stranger cares more about me than my actual family. I'm not sure if I should be happy or crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 151

Today, someone finally pointed out that my 'Out of Office' message has been on for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 800

Today, I noticed that the glasses I got this week seemed off balance. A further inspection showed that one of my ears is bigger than the other. Through even further inspection, my family concluded that the entire right side of my body is higher than my left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 522

You deserved it 167