Miscellaneous: Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 13:12 - Belgium

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 350

You deserved it 2 863

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Same thing different taste

By itchybollos - 16/09/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 3 346

By Not-pregnant - 20/04/2014 17:21 - United States - Melbourne

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 619

You deserved it 4 888

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 3 691

By Nick Pat - 30/09/2015 13:13

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 959

By Dear Lord Save Me - 04/01/2015 03:56 - United Kingdom - Merthyr Tydfil

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 159

You deserved it 3 306

Cart Narcs will get ya!

By May - 10/01/2021 20:01

Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 268

Toxic much?

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 650

You deserved it 5 064

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 883

You deserved it 243

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 776

You deserved it 4 994

By wowdadreally - 23/12/2014 20:46 - United States - College Station

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 715

You deserved it 6 477

Next

Top comments

Sebastian2022 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:21

You should've said "Sorry Dad, they're out do you're league, but they're sure as hell in mine."

Johnnycake23 42

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:21

Can't have a conscious in the pimp game!

Comments

Sebastian2022 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:21

You should've said "Sorry Dad, they're out do you're league, but they're sure as hell in mine."

Sebastian2022 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:25

Out of you're league*

RobinGoodfellow 47

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:25

Are we assuming OP is a lesbian or what?

cole_tyler42 21

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:26

"No, Dad, you're cramping MY style."

LeashaJoy5595 28

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:34

OP is a girl... Not saying she couldn't be lesbian, but she's probably not if the dad is trying to get at them. Don't wanna have a number contest with dad

Vegetarian27 24

Sunday 1 February 2015 10:57

*out of your league

1dvos_grl3 21

Sunday 1 February 2015 21:00

#22 I believe he already tried to correct it. it's more like "*your".

Johnnycake23 42

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:21

Can't have a conscious in the pimp game!

ShowMeKay 20

Sunday 1 February 2015 9:03

#2 I think the word you were looking for was "conscience." Conscious means something completely different lol.

gobiteme2 34

Monday 2 February 2015 0:36

Don’t think he’s acting like a pimp, more like a john

stupidface15 16

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:23

before i vote on this fml, id like to know, how hot were these chicks? scale of 1-10

cole_tyler42 21

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:25

They're from Belgium, so likely a 10.

flufee2 27

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:23

Thug life

iSativa 24

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:24

Who picks up "chicks" while shopping?

Morning_fml 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:25

Someone obviously as fly as OP's dad.

stupidface15 16

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:25

THIS GUY

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Sunday 1 February 2015 8:47

Gotta learn to multi-task my friend. And it's easier to pick up chick's in non-traditional settings, in places like bars they're on high alert and less easy prey.

PenguinBitch 43

Sunday 1 February 2015 8:58

Bill Cosby knows. ^

JohnTheDonJuan 11

Sunday 1 February 2015 9:09

The Cosby ALWAYS knows...

PossiblyInDanger 24

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:31

Plenty of chicks like guys with kids.

jkp1291 25

Sunday 1 February 2015 7:05

*OP then proceeds to pick up all the chicks themselves.*

youngindian 10

Sunday 1 February 2015 8:50

We'll maybe that's a sign?

tranced_ 45

Sunday 1 February 2015 10:38

time to bring in your mom!

iwanttogotoparis 26

Sunday 1 February 2015 11:48

Tell him he's not their type

Keywords

Family Christmas Awkward Relatable Technology Social Media Money Holidays Narcissistic parents Drunk Love Gifts Religion Shopping Miscellaneous AITA Furniture Delivery Cheating Facebook Sex Dogs Animals Cold weather Bosses Work Embarrassing Cute Am I overreacting? Cats

The Top

Today, I learned that you truly can get cramp in any muscle of your body, including that one specific ring of muscle in the back. Yes, I got a full on cramp in my asshole and yes, it is even more painful than you can possibly imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 83

Today, I got home and found my girlfriend in bed with another guy. After the screaming, yelling, and kicking them both out of my house, all I wanted was whiskey. I found the bottle under the bed. It wasn’t enough the guy was porking my girlfriend, he had to drink my booze too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 112

The Top

Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 809

You deserved it 2 640

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 755

You deserved it 5 582

Today, it's the 6th day in a row my roommate has not left our dorm room. I miss jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 856

You deserved it 1 106

Today, I had a guest at my house. I stood up to shake her hand and kiss her on both cheeks, which is common in my culture. When she was kissing my cheeks, I went the opposite way from her and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead. Her eyes went big and I ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 621

You deserved it 1 409

Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 406

You deserved it 2 558

Today, our freezer was full because my Dad got a free turkey from work. Thing is, my mom bought a pre-made ham, even though she knows my dad brings home a turkey every year. Why? Because of all the prep work that goes into making the turkey, including clearing out the kitchen, and throwing it into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 214