OP's parents might be paying for their college so op has to do what they're told.

just don't show up for the class

#20 - no matter how bad the class is, I'd still rather get a grade on my transcript for it instead of being a no-show.

Unless it's a non-credit seminar class. Hard to say without more info.

Also, the class couldn't possibly be required for your major. So I see no point in it.

^do you live under a rock? Lots of college classes DO count attendance with a clicker device. Plus, there are clicker questions which you need to be present for, or you get a zero. Daily grades and hw don't weight a lot (around 8%) but I'll take the free gpa booster. Even if It's not required, you ARE required to have a certain amount of hours outside of your major, or more commonly known as elective classes.

Time to cut the cord

why did this get a thumbs down?

#32, probably because 5 people have already told OP to stand up for himself and 5 other people have already responded that he may not be able to do that because his parents pay his tuition.

It's actually rather mature, honestly. You're doing the right thing, it doesn't cause you that much trouble and it makes your parents happy. Sometimes we just have to do things we don't want to for the sake of those who care about us.

Thanks. I'd kill to be allowed some freedom in my choices though.

Wow you definitely sound self sufficient and mature enough to handle yourself. That was a greatly worded follow up making you sound more intelligent than most your age. You'd do fine without the class by the sounds of it. If it's your parents who's paying for your college jokes on them I guess cause they're wasting one of your classes for this semester and in turn wasting money. Good luck with the rest of your classes though.

OP, can you talk to your advisor or a counselor at your college about this situation? They may have some suggestions to help you plot a strategy for getting out from under your parents' thumbs. You've had to live with this for long enough. Now that you're in college, you have access to a wealth of resources (that are completely confidential! They are not allowed, by law, to tell your parents anything!) that can help you start to feel more like the adult you are and not the child your parents are making you out to be.

#23 - I'm surprised at all the people suggesting you take out loans, actually. That'd be a good solution if you seriously can't stand your parents forcing things on you, but I know I'd personally rather not be in debt and put up with a bit of railroading. Up to you, and now that your problem is on FML, a lot of options you didn't know or think about are gonna open up. Good luck!

I made an account to respond to your post. I think you're right, it's better to just get on with it and avoid the confrontation. I also have Asperger's and I know what misguided advice from parents is like. I needed to suspend my third year because I was going through a period of serious ill health and they were very much against the idea, saying I was irresponsible and unable to deal with the difficulties in an emotionally mature manner. I ended up suspending my degree (in the UK there are provisions for this so I was actually able to afford it) and ended up benefiting from it massively. I imagine if I'd lived with them at the time I would have found their constant nagging unbearable, parents of people like us get into the habit of having to take a greater role in terms of looking after us (my teenage years were rough as hell) and so it's hard for them to break it when it's time for us to leave. You're doing the right thing because living at home, it really isn't worth the argument. Bring a book to the class or zone out and think about something awesome instead (my go to is Star Trek). I hope it all goes okay for you, ignore the haters who don't know what it's like to have Asperger's or have parents used to being particularly protective. They do it out of love, but it doesn't make it any easier.

That's actually a form of abuse via overly controlling your life. It's not direct abuse like beatings and stuff but it's still abuse in any civilized country. You need to get help from your college to get out from under their thumb.

Every course they make you take to socialize you is a course you can't take towards your major and specialty. Do some research and come at them with a strong and well reasoned argument. Tell them if you have trouble this semester you'll take it during the next one. Demand the chance to prove you can stand on your own two feet. Or keep your head down and take the course. Your choice.

It's hard when your parents don't believe you can handle things on your own just because you are different, good luck

#25 - I have an advisor I can talk to, but no matter what changes I make, they will know. My parents do have permission to look at things such as which classes I’m taking due to still having guardianship over me (they filed for that a few years ago and got it with my permission, though in hindsight I can’t help but feel as if I may have brought this upon myself by going along with it), and they also had me make changes to my email account to redirect all emails I get from the school to them. I have the right to privacy for many things, but college is not one of them. #26 - I’ve considered loans. To be honest, I’m rather hesitant about them because I’ve heard of the horror stories of still being in debt in years to come. #27 - Thanks, that helps. #28 - I’m admittedly not sure if I’d go as far as to call it abuse. I have had friends that have been legitimately abused by their parents, so I’m rather hesitant about throwing that term around loosely. I can easily say it is smothering, but otherwise I’m not sure. #29 - I’ll try. It probably won’t work, but I suppose the phrase “nothing ventured, nothing gained” applies here.

I'm aware you're hesitant but it is still abuse. Forcing your child to follow your way of life is a form of abuse by controlling manners. As you said before they can be incredibly scary at times and are forcing you via their control over your finances to take classes that not only do you not like but classes that will slow your progress in the future. I had parents like that (well they also were physically abusive) until they disowned me and literally set me free from them forever.

really well said , I don't consider this childish as it is what a lot of people have problems with . hopefully the class doesn't suck too bad

That's so ridiculous and awful that they think that. How are you supposed to become self-sufficient if they never let you move out or do things on your own?

Hey! Sorry to hear this is happening to you. Incredibly shitty and totally undeserved, both on the part of your parents being paternalistic and the class being ableist and infantilizing. If you haven't, feel free to reach out to the autistic community around you or online (autistic community = actually autistic people, not people who blather on about autism "for our own good"). We take good care of our own.

It sounds like you may have been forced into giving up some of your rights. I would definitely talk to your advisor or get a referral from the campus counselor as a first step, since I think this does like sound like abuse--unintentional, perhaps, but abuse nonetheless. I've worked with students your age and in your situation. I can't recommend getting help from a neutral, professional source highly enough, OP.

I saw some of your other comments above. I would strongly suggest reaching out to the Jenny Hatch Justice Project or Quality Trust for People with Disabilities, the folks who helped Jenny Hatch fight unjust and unnecessary guardianship, or else your state's protection and advocacy system. I'm also autistic, and I'm a disability rights activist. It's completely fair to not want to claim experiences of other people -- i.e. recognizing that your parents haven't done to you what some other people's parents have done to their kids -- but it's also fair to yourself to recognize that what is happening is abusive, even if it is with your parents' best intentions and even if they truly believe that they are doing this out of love and to help you. Guardianship is insidious, as you've probably figured out, and can cast a long shadow over the rest of your life. I don't know where you live or what state you're in, but I can probably hook you up with some resources that could be legitimately helpful in this situation.

You could also talk to your instructor. As a former freshman instructor myself, I know there wasn't much I, personally, could do for individual students who felt frustrated by the curriculum, but I was able to talk to my department chair and get her influence to have students who'd been inappropriately placed put into better fitting classes for them. But given the sheer volume of students I had, it was sometimes difficult for me to notice when individual students were underwhelmed, so I'd recommend bringing it up with your teacher.

I don't think they are "over controlling" his life, they are just trying to do what's best for him, and in turn they haven't taken a step back to see things from his perspective or take into account how he feels about the situation. It's a common guidance error, not abuse.

I have Asperger's too. When I was graduating high school, I was applying to colleges and my dad did not want me living in a dorm because he didn't think I could live on my own. Long story shory, I completed about 3 years of community college and then my parents dropped me off at a residence hall at the university I transfered to (the university was like 15 minutes from my house and my parents would not let me go to any other school). Now I graduated from university but I live with my parents because I'm not self-sufficient yet. I feel you. I'm gonna leave and go on my own the first chance I get.

OP, I'm autistic too but I gotta say, if you don't stand up for yourself then you gotta live with your decisions. Part of being an adult is being able to assert your rights and have enough self-respect to say 'no' when you should. Autism may be a disability, but it should not be treated any differently than any other disability. Parents of autistic children should be trying to empower their children, not smother and take control over their lives. Your parents may have always been this way OP, but you're old enough and smart enough now. You are an adult OP. It's not your parents who are 'not letting' you drop the class - parents don't have the power to 'let' you do anything at this age. It is YOU who are 'letting them' make you take the class. As you said yourself - the worst that will happen is them 'bitching' at you and 'being scary' - OP, if that's all it takes for someone to have their way with you, then you are going to be VERY easily taken advantage of, and you may want to do some self-reflection over exactly how 'self-sufficient' you say you are. I know this is quite harsh but while I do sympathise with you, how passive you are is unhealthy - it's unhealthy right now, it will be unhealthy if it continues into future relationships (friends, romance), it will be unhealthy if you get a job and let your boss push you around or dock your pay unfairly, it will be unhealthy if you have children and do not model assertiveness for them - you seriously need to do some self-reflection here, OP. Look into assertiveness training if you like, (in fact I highly recommend this if you really feel stuck) but this is not on.

Agreed with 46. They are good people, just overprotective. I just admittedly try to let them have their way because it's just easier than the alternatives such as guilt-tripping, punishments (not physical). And overall they have put up with me for 19 years, so I can't really complain. 51 - I know full well that what you are saying is the complete truth, and I respect your honesty. My main problem is that talking to them can be incredibly hard sometimes. I have done multiple self-reflections, and I admittedly don't like what I find. Still, I'll try to be a bit more assertive.

Yes but you have to pay to take a class that you're suffering in for 5 months and that's absolutely ridiculous. It doesn't help toward your degree so I'd say stick up to them and tell them it's your life and you can make your own decisions and fend for yourself and that they should stop treating like a half wit because clearly you aren't. I've been saying it to my mother for forever I think you should stand up to your parents and be happy.

Read before you post - they have legal guardianship over him even though he's an adult. It IS their decision.

As a 15-year-old with Asperger's, I know just how you feel. It's good to find another person like me with the same struggles that I have. Thank you for posting this, OP.

Your parents don't completely understand Asperger's, do they? You can live a normal (Remember, what's normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.) and self-sufficient life with Asperger's. I've seen it. Maybe, if they still insist it's some kind of mental handicap, try to get in touch with a counselor who could set you up with a social worker that would allow you to be more in control of your affairs than your parents let you?

I've had to put up with a lot of similar stuff myself, though I don't have Asperger's. My dad is substantially helping out with paying for college(though he's also the one who made sure I didn't consider any other options, so I don't feel guilty). Because of this, I put up with a lot that I don't want to and make a lot of decisions based off what he wants. It sucks, but I do it because I still need his money. And don't ever feel guilty about your parents "putting up" with you for 19 years. It's the goddamn job they signed on for, and then renewed when they decided to extend their guardianship. And it doesn't matter one flying **** that you have a learning disability. That's the risk they take having a child, and if they weren't prepared for everything parenthood might had in store, that's for them to apologize to YOU for, not the other way around.

well you should probably tell your parents that if they ever want you to be able to mesh in society and take care of yourself you need to have a little responsibility and freedom. I know it's scary and they don't know if it's going to work out but that is what life and more importantly college is about making mistakes and learning from them. That's what my cousin's specialist told my aunt and uncle and he has Asperger's so maybe you can say some version of that to your parents. Or better yet get a specialist to tell them that if they don't trust your judgment which it seems they don't.

I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time, OP. If the class is for credit, it will probably count ad an elective towards your overall degree. Perhaps your folks would be willing to let go of the reigns a little bit if you had some professional support. If you have difficulty with planning out assignments, monitoring your time, and other executive functioning issues, a learning specialist or academic coach could help you with these things. Then maybe your parents wouldn't feel the need to read all of your email. If you need help with social issues such as making friends or advocating for yourself with your professors, perhaps the disability services staff or a life coach could help. College is a great time to become more independent. It will be essential when you are seeking employment after college. I wish you the best, OP.

If you asked them to would they sit in the class with you a couple of times or can you secretly record it? Maybe they will understand if they saw it for themselves.

As someone that also as aspergers, I definitely feel your pain. I always treated that way in high school after i was diagnosed (much worse things happened prior to diagnosis but anyway...). I wanted to go to college but due to money and the issues I had in HS, it was impossible. Then I had anxiety issues regarding even being around so many people a few years later when I was planning on just taking one class...Due to how my high school left went (mostly undiagnosed and treated as a delinquent) my doctor said it actually multiplied my anxiety and made life in public much worse for me.

Keep your head up OP! Keep doing your best and hopefully things will get better.

It sounds to me like your parents are still being over protective. They need to learn that Austim Spectrum Disorder does not equal stupid. I have an ASD and my parents never treated me any different, aside from learning how to recognize social cues. That's the only difficulty I have, but other than that, I'm working and I'm married.

Your parents sound like they are mildly emotionally abusive, OP. Especially since it sounds like they try to control everything you do. I hope they ease off after a few weeks of term. Also, you should look into whether your city/state/country has laws about providing aid to people with disorders. When I was attending college, I had extended test time, private testing, copies of power point slides, got homework assignments early, had a copy of the syllabus down to what day a lesson would start and end, and could use a voice recorder to record the class. So it might be worth looking into.

Do they not realise that Asperger's affects people in different ways? Just because you have Asperger's it doesn't make you some 8 year old. In all honesty, they're just trying to do what they think is best for you, but just because they think it's for the best doesn't mean that it is. Anyway, I hope you do well in college, even if you have to put up with those classes.

I feel that pain OP. I'm literally in the same situation -_-

You definitely sound self-sufficient. I don't have the whole picture, but it sounds like your parents aren't letting you grow up. I had to deal with my super controlling parents, too. Mine were definitely emotionally abusive, I just didn't see it until later years. It's a tough situation. Whenever I tried to take any sort of control over my life, they fought back and tried to use whatever they had of mine they could control against me. It's a super unhealthy relationship. Usually they'd ease up when I started to burn the bridge, not because they cared, but because they didn't want the neighbors to talk. Wedding planning was a nightmare and I regret a lot of decisions I didn't get to make. If you need to talk, feel free to message me.

OP, have you considered just not going to class? I'm not saying drop it I'm saying have a chat with your prof and explain your situation. I have told a teacher very respectively, "I am taking this class because the office says I have to take it. I know just about everything in this class. I will sit in your lecture and draw pictures and I will still make an A." Spent 4 years in the military and they made me take remedial classes *groan*. I had one professor argue with me about it until about 3 weeks in I asked if I could skip computer lab since I was done with the assignment and the next two (To which he was shocked since everyone else was behind). I skipped most of the class, stayed 4 chapters ahead of the class and made an "A".

Be patient OP. Take this opportunity to achieve what you need to be independent. It is worth it. Your parents are being overprotective and, believe it or not, being like this is a sign of their fierce love for you. Hang on tight, let your college know how poorly planned this class is. You are doing your best within your limitations right now and that's all that matters.

Why waste your money on a class you're not going to benefit from? That's my question...

Google the Autistic Self - advocacy Network - I'm sure that Ari can give you some good advice.

You can call them on +1 202-596-1056

As a person with Asperger's as well, I can relate. My parents will not let me make choices on my own. I've fought, and they still won't let me make my own choices. Hope you can get over it, OP.

I have Asperger's too. Just watch for tips that may be helpful until you can get out. And you know what? Whoever thinks that Asperger's won't make you successful is ignorant. Next time they bring up any critical comments about success with Asperger's, smile boldly, and count off these names on your fingers: Bill Gates, Dan Aykroyd, Darryl Hannah, Albert Einstein. You can be successful!

OP, since you're in America, can't you try applying for scholarships? I know many colleges that offer in-school scholarships that you can be awarded based on meeting certain criteria. If you can rack up enough money, you could probably dorm, pay for tuition and get a job on campus without your parents's involvement. That's what I'm doing, but I'm just doing it to relieve the financial burden on my parents. I think your parents are just super concerned and they think they know what's best for you (it may be true, yet it may not be). As this is the internet, we can't physically help you, but we can give advice.

OP, if you are over 18, then it doesn't matter if you have a disability, you can make your own choices. I work with dd adults- which a much less functioning than you and they get to make life decisions. I know you don't want to push it, but just know that legally, they can't make that decision for you. Do what you think is best, and good luck!!

Are you conserved by your parents?