Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving,...

By EmbarrassedChild - 30/07/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 384

You deserved it 1 926

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/12/2014 21:00 - United States

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 130

You deserved it 2 625

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 943

You deserved it 7 755

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 243

By traumatized - 18/06/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 225

You deserved it 3 613

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 046

You deserved it 3 518

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 773

You deserved it 4 994

The Conquest of Bread

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 264

By SAM - 05/08/2018 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad gave me his old camera. I got home and eagerly turned it on to start using it. I was greeted by a photo of my father drunk, smiling, naked, and covered in peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 235

You deserved it 333

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 13:12 - Belgium

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 349

You deserved it 2 863

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

Patriots21 14

Friday 31 July 2015 14:15

Penis jokes are ALWAYS funny.

gordjess1 19

Friday 31 July 2015 14:16

That's when you pretend you aren't with them.. Turn the other way and walk off.

Comments

Patriots21 14

Friday 31 July 2015 14:15

Penis jokes are ALWAYS funny.

Welshite 39

Friday 31 July 2015 14:40

People call my penis a joke. I don't think it's funny. :(

tabbycat2007 22

Friday 31 July 2015 15:46

I agree. OP, you should be glad you're dad has such a good sense of humor.

Miss_Mandi 29

Friday 31 July 2015 23:33

Agreed. I would've done that myself.

jlang917 14

Friday 31 July 2015 14:16

Maybe he'll grow up someday..

Mauskau 35

Friday 31 July 2015 14:26

Maybe. As a kid, my siblings and I would do this with cucumbers and run around the aisle wiggling it and saying "willy, willy!". My parents usually found it funny before telling us off XD

Welshite 39

Friday 31 July 2015 14:35

#8: I like to play the vegetables too. I'll usually grab my cucumber or zucchini and retreat to a corner aisle to fool around with it. Then I'm threatened with arrest for public indecency.