Intimacy: Thanks!

Thanks!

By womboman - 30/07/2011 20:02 - United States

Today, it started pouring while I was in the middle of a pizza delivery. I had to stand out in the rain for ten minutes while an old redneck dude wearing nothing but camo boxers fumbled around for the exact change to pay the bill. I think seeing his junk was supposed to count as my tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 795

You deserved it 3 231

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By micheal - 21/06/2011 16:52 - United States

Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 814

You deserved it 3 548

By ronniewciv - 30/12/2010 07:48

Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 580

You deserved it 3 765

Currency

By PizzaBwaaay - 03/05/2022 22:00

Today, I was delivering pizzas and hit up a dude’s house who ordered two boxes of extra large. He gave me the exact change. I asked him, “What about the tip?” He paused for a minute, let out this loud rancid fart and said, “There’s your tip bub, now piss off!” and shut the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 1 486

By Cano951 - 16/12/2011 20:16 - United States

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 391

You deserved it 2 609

It never rains, it pours

By jaeilssanguh - 26/11/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was walking in rain. I had my hands in my pants pockets, so that the front of the jacket was pointing down. Halfway to Taco Bell, my crotch felt exceptionally wet. I looked down to see a wet spot. The rain on my jacket was channeled to my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 073

You deserved it 6 168

All in a day's work

By Steve-noh - 10/08/2018 23:30

Today, at my job as a waiter I sharted myself while taking an order. They tipped me $20 and wrote "for new underwear" on the receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 161

You deserved it 595

By dammit33 - 28/05/2012 13:55 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 799

You deserved it 8 910

Stormy weather

By Anonymous - 20/09/2020 17:00 - United Stated - Portland

Today, I was about to have sex with my long-term boyfriend, when it started to rain. He was so interested in the storm that he left me half naked to look outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 255

Protip

By Tipless - 07/11/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was working as a Valet driver. After getting no customers for 5 hours in the pouring rain, a woman driving by stops and asks me for directions. Before leaving, she said, "I should probably tip you for that, since that's probably the only money you'd get all night." She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 947

You deserved it 2 474

By richgirl - 25/02/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 160

You deserved it 4 564

Thabb 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:08

You should be honored, to rednecks that's a huge achievement.

Salvikidd 6

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:27

did you see his 16 year old wife?

Comments

Miss_Michaela 10

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:07

It's a good tip.

trevishere 7

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:17

That would be something I would do to see a reaction.

alexibabyxoxo 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:19

was it a big tip ?

NastyNinja31 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:32

Probably the best tip op ever got

seanders 10

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:41

You know what the Leper said to the prostitute: "keep the tip"

thelastlucifer 17

Sunday 31 July 2011 2:44

thats not entirely true, larry the cable guy in redneck attire is freaking awesome

fanceh 10

Sunday 31 July 2011 5:23

were the gods watching over you as you watched his sack swing to and fro?

BillyBongBlast 1

Sunday 31 July 2011 5:24

lucifer you are a fuucking idiot. stupid fml

projoe 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 6:40

^^^could he Tie it in a not, could he tie it in a bow!?

FarSide 22

Sunday 31 July 2011 7:51

Did you spit on his pizza?

Thabb 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:08

You should be honored, to rednecks that's a huge achievement.

flockz 19

Sunday 31 July 2011 2:11

ya to have exact change would be an achievement for anyone, except my prehistoric grandmother.

beaglegun 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 4:12

Sterotype

Sae_Ghelk 6

Tuesday 2 August 2011 9:29

Bush sucks.

charger73 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:11

rednecks are the best.

hellbilly205 17

Sunday 31 July 2011 2:37

Amen brother

iPoopMusic 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 5:44

Best what?

partyfool2011 4

Sunday 31 July 2011 7:04

Best cherry-colored booze-drinkin' NASCAR-watchin' beer-bellied country music-listenin' funny accented people on earth!

Redneck42 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 9:58

Best people in the world

amazinglyHappy 6

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:11

damn, he was feeling generous 'eh?

kawaiianime 5

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:11

Was he holding a beer?

hellbilly205 17

Sunday 31 July 2011 2:39

Way to be stereotypical asshole

kawaiianime 5

Sunday 31 July 2011 3:34

I'm sorry dude. :(

ipodlover1995 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 5:26

Don't be stupid! Obviously it was a shotgun.

a_nutritionist 10

Sunday 31 July 2011 5:29

@32 you should thank him. if the guy wasnt holding a beer then you cant blame the alcohol and the guy really is that retarded. at least this way we assume its his poor choices rather than inability to comprehend the world around him.

AnimeGirl1 10

Sunday 1 September 2013 1:40

your username....i like it.

09redbull90 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:16

I was delivering pizza on a hot humid day and this fat guy reached into his pants and pulled out this wad of cash that was wedged between his leg and nutsack. I grabbed the money with the receipt and held it out the window on the way back to the restaurant. Just deal with it OP.

dreawlkr523 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:25

safest place in the world to hide his money!

getviolated 5

Sunday 31 July 2011 2:23

seriously it sticks so easily right there you never have to worry about it falling

a_nutritionist 10

Sunday 31 July 2011 5:43

i hope you took it with a look of disgust and treated him like the piece of shit he is for the rest of the transaction. maybe then he will learn the basics of humanity. but i doubt it.