Do you not know how hard it is to keep quiet while vomiting? Are you retarded or something?

You can't... ...Breath? -Facepalm-

hey hey hey! they invtented turtle beaches for a reason!

Wow, SteveTheJanitor, WOW. You don't understand sarscasm. -.-

Op got her husband killed while he was on a 7 killstreak

what's funnier then corn * heavy sarcasm* corn that pops *still sarcastic* XD

is tht supposed to be a joke

a shit joke... the sarcasm makes it funny you see?

OP get back in the kitchen and stop messing around! Got no time for slackers!

"hey patrick" "what?" "i got somthing funnier then 24" "what is it?" "25!!"

51- I have been saying that quote for weeks now. I love you.

how is 25 funnier than 24? I don't get it..

74 its from a spongebob episode :) 61 i love you too ;D

I fill all my jokes, since most of them are shit, with sarcasm, add a little dab of delusion and add a pinch of gay.

dude, your going to ******* he'll, if your trying to be sarcastic, your still going to he'll but next time put a lol or jk next to it because this comment and the story were both ridiculously disrespectful to women

**** those high rank guys that run around like little bitches knifing people. You lack skill.

How do you know it was CoD? For all you know, this douchebag could have been playing Viva Piñata since he acts like a baby, why not play baby games? EDIT: What the ****? This was supposed to be a response to #79.

91 - I think you should learn how to properly use an apostrophe.

@kay shit joke yes, but this was so obviously sarcasm. being a shit joke doesnt negate the stupidity of the response. @91 thou shalt not joke about women? dont remember that one on the 10 commandments. do you have a revised version?

110= GRAMMAR NAZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iPhone always corrects hell to he'll... pain in the ass!

watch out! don't wanna go to he'll

Get between a man and his games and hell kill you. :P

147 - awesome dog hands down

I hear it's really difficult to point a gun in a general direction and shoot someone in video games.

Well you first have to know the writer's intensions before you make assumptions, for example, claiming they're "claiming" sarcasm, is a douche move. you fail.

Wisdom.

110 have you ever noticed that hell is autocorrected on an iPhone to he'll? Get over yourself there, bud.

244 - Funny, I have an iPhone too and it has never happened to me!

i turned my auto correct off bcuz i hate it >.

Turn it back on or spell because.

lol, I was the 100th person to thumbs down this comment. xD

that's what she gets for not being in the kitchen and making him a sandwich!

Your right

Sarcasm doesn't exactly come out in text.

in sickness and in health...right?

tactical nuke or rage quit right?

Is your husbands name Peter Griffin by any chance?

I like ur pic it's funny everytime I see that pic it makes me laugh

@117 people have bad days and do things they later regret. this is why apologies exist. you didnt suggest hitting someone in a compromised state of mind, this is your rational thinking. i feel bad for anyone who ends up stuck with your abusive ass. if this is a common trend in his behaviour she should have known before getting married, and more importantly before getting pregnant.

congratulations on the baby ?

morning sickness? let him have his games. in nine months he'll be too busy to waste time.

She should have yelled back "because I'm carry your spawn!"

I woulda said: "And when you're done with all that racket make me a ****** sammich!" Just kidding...sorry your husband is an ass OP.

lucky child you'll have. prepare for post baby depression op. :/ I'd find me a new baby daddy. ;)

lol so. true.

obviously he is good in bed hence the baby in her belly you dunce

Bad sex can still result in pregnancy...

wait I still don't get it... is 4 a male or female...?

pretty sure he's a guy.

115- my guess is both

Supernatural. Best show ever. Love the profile pic

nice one

Win. LoL

115 - well to be completely honest I'm a leprechaun...

it says miss on da profile haha ^•^

it didn't earlier

115- creep a profile sometimes. might help to learn she's a female. or so her title says.

20- not necessarily, he could have got inside her, jizzed then got out

whip tailed lizards... google it ;)

I didn't know being bad in bed worked as protection

And you're one comment away from getting beaten by angry women

Women. Just chill. You are just making it worse for yourself. Take a joke without getting butt hurt. And make me a sammich.

and you, my friend, are one comment away from my comment.

Memphis law states that any woman who ways to drive alone must have a man in front of the car waving red flags to warn other motorists/pedestrians. This is a key example of women's rights being a myth, so good luck being the weaker sex 90.

150, "any woman who ways to drive alone"...?? Your right were definitely the weaker sex. Do me a favor, take the 5 seconds to proof read your shit before you try to infect anyones mind with your moronic babble.

the fact that you had to bring it up while everyone else FIGURED IT THE **** OUT, it just makes me sad the way some people think. In the words of the wise wiz khalifa "Taylor gang or mother ******* kill yourself"

Whats sad is that while I was perfectly capable of figuring it the **** out, your only response was to quote wiz khalifa (because obviously, he's the wisest man you know)

p-p-proving my point with a fight on FML. idk if it's just you personally or if you're reppin the entire gender, but dammmnnn I come so close to agreeing with you, then I watch 30 seconds of the WNBA and it's...just...so...bad. :D (by the way, spell checked this one, and you can take that all the way to the menstrual bank)

I don't like you

150: I'm actually considering beating the shit out of you.

should I feel bad for being right?

No, just for being a complete ass.

for realzeez...why can't all guys be like Usher/Justin Bieber/Neyo/JA-SON DERÜLO

150, actually you're not right >.> not sure where you got that crazy idea from ..

god who knows. I must be senile, like who bases their ideas on facts and public opinion? crazy shit right there yo

hahahaha

be careful 189 it's feeding time at the feminist aquarium

ladies, gentlemen, I'm lovin the enthusiasm here but let's not make false threats of fighting each other, when this is a app/website for people to laugh. U don't know each other, odds are will never see each other, so let's jus keep arguing, and dissing each other, not make useless threats:). Thanks

getviolated- you're the moron fighting people on FML .....get a life dude and a better attitude

see where the "fight" started, and then get at me sir.

Yeah and keep it up so no girl will ever sleep wit u .. Not like I think anyone does now -_-

213- you look like a mouse. I'm just saying...

wow this is a very sexist conversation- for both sides

and now I'm one comment away from this wonderful guys comment. isn't this just amazing.

Well since you don't even have a picture up, I'm assuming you're pretty ugly ..

Just be quiet and let him run his goddamn raid.

Bit of an understatement, yes?

You be quiet.

noooo, he's ignorant! he's being ignorant! *south park michael jackson voice*

Yay ! KRAFT DINNER!!!!

What about two? I guess forgetting to pay child support would be good enough.

Quite what?

quiet*

Thank you, 94! That's awesome. lol

you're a bitch?! "great!" not another one. :/

This is why the divorce rate is so high. You'd get a divorce over something so dumb.

If he chooses his games over his wife and child constantly then it's understandable that their relationship will not work out. Hate to hear that he said this while she's having contractions instead of just morning sickness.

dont be blaming xbox for divorce rates! dont blame xbox for anythin besides awesumness! ;)

Yes but would it be a good excuse to talk to your wife like this when she is obviously sick? She is not faking it, she is throwing up because she is pregnant!!!! And you want to be a paramedic? Edit: this was for #15

What a ridiculous exaggerations!, exclaims I.

This was for Llamassss, I don't know why it keeps posting comments under the wrong persons :D