Your everyday life stories - FML

Not now!

By Al - 19/11/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 66

Speak your brains

By Anonymous - 30/10/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to "quiet quit" a Zoom meeting by muting myself and turning off my camera. Halfway through, I unmuted by mistake and blurted out, "I think they just like hearing themselves talk." Now, every time my boss says something, everyone looks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 639

How do people still get caught out like this?

By Fern - 16/09/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I was sat in front of my computer, waiting for a Zoom meeting with my coworkers to start. I started doing interpretive dance arm movements to the jazzy funky hold music. Turns out that the camera wasn’t off, and everyone was silently watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 509

The jug of shame

By Anonymous - 01/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I had a Zoom meeting. I tried being professional by setting a virtual office background, but during the meeting my computer glitched and revealed my real background: a pile of dirty laundry and a jug of Arizona Tea. My boss couldn’t stop laughing because he thought the jug was a jug of piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 407

Reluctant teambuilding

By Anonymous - 25/08/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during a Zoom meeting, five out of the six attendees claimed their cameras were broken and were audio only. I get that Zoom meetings suck but come up with a better excuse than that, or just say you prefer to be audio only, Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 402

Unprofessionnal

By Anonymous - 21/08/2024 14:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was in a Zoom meeting. I usually have tape over my camera and pretend it's busted so I don't have to perform like a circus monkey, but I forgot that I'd removed it to chat with my cousin last night. I was halfway through eating a mango when my boss paused mid-speech and said, “Is now really the best time for that?” The meeting went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 670

Ban Zoom meetings

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I joined a Zoom call late and accidentally unmuted myself while yelling at my kids to stop fighting. I didn't realize I was unmuted until I saw my manager's horrified face and the rest of the team trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 486

Taking the mickey

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, exactly 19 seconds after I logged on, my boss Zoom-called me to let me know 3 people are out sick, probably until Monday, so if I wouldn’t mind doing their work as well so we don’t fall behind, within working hours, no overtime available. He wasn’t happy when I told him no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 79

Many such cases

By NeedJob pleaseeeee - 21/06/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 062

Business on top

By Paulie - 25/11/2023 05:00 - Australia

Today, I attended a virtual meeting on Zoom. In an effort to appear professional, I wore a business shirt and tie… with my pajama bottoms out of shot under the table. My camera slipped, revealing my mismatched clothes and also my footwear – one sock and one fuzzy slipper. I only noticed after my boss pointed it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 563

Blackmail material

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 18:00

Spicy

Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 156

Happens to the best of us

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 12:00

Today, I was working from home and accidentally turned my camera on when I joined a Zoom meeting, while not wearing pants. I had to pretend I was having technical difficulties to quickly put some on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 734

Serious business

By Anonymous - 02/01/2023 15:00

Toda, while I was on a Zoom interview for a potential new career, one of my family members screamed, "Well that's a kick in the dick!" It was so loud, the recruiter immediately told me to have a nice day and abruptly ended the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 149

Proportional response

By SlimJim - 30/08/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, I had a Zoom job interview. My roommate grabbed me, duct-taped my mouth, and hogtied me. I watched helplessly as he took the call with my potential employer, insulted her, and said, “Fuck this job.” All because I “hit on his girlfriend” at a BBQ yesterday, by asking her if she wanted another hot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 155

We were on a break

By Anonymous - 27/08/2022 19:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I learned to always remember to mute yourself on Zoom when on your break. My apartment is so small, they all heard me take the longest piss of my life, moan and butt scratching included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 982

Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

By GeeHee - 30/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was in a work Zoom meeting that was supposed to end at 5 pm, which is my shift end time. It dragged after 5 pm so I decided to disconnect and leave to go home, since I don’t get paid overtime. My manager called demanding to know why I left early, said I was unprofessional, and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 1 344

Free advertising

By Hidingforever - 18/06/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, I accidentally joined my Zoom class meeting with my cam girl account. The whole class now knows what my breasts look like, and know that my nickname is “CumKitten.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 2 081

Cheer up sleepy Jean

By SleepySleep - 09/06/2022 16:00

Today, I had a Zoom meeting with co-workers. I didn’t get enough sleep last night and it was early in the morning, so I was super tired. I dozed off and my head hit the keyboard’s space bar. Apparently, this feature allows the mic to unmute itself. The entire group heard my snoring. I woke up unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 1 074

Thanks for the support

By Time2Diet - 31/05/2022 12:00

Today, I had a Zoom interview. My chair decided to break from under me. CRACK! One leg broke. I tried to compose myself and played it off. CRACK! The second leg gave out and I couldn't hold myself up anymore and fell down with it. The interviewer promptly stopped the interview and said, "We’ll be in touch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 150

Zoom, there it goes

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 22:00

Today, my mom stumbled into my house, drunk and half naked, while I was in a Zoom meeting. My client said he no longer had an interest working with someone with such a disreputable home life, and offered to pray for our salvation before ending the call. My boss is going to eviscerate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 130

Zoom blues

By bowels from hell - 11/03/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 169

Next time, lie

By dr.fml - 09/03/2022 00:00 - United States - Sutton

Today, I was in a Zoom meeting for a very important lab I work in. My lab director, who is writing me a letter of recommendation for medical school, commented on a painting I had in the background. "Oh, what is that? It looks nice." My reply? "A bong." I got a professionalism email right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 394

Consent

By SirEnigM0nk - 07/03/2022 23:22 - United States - Riderwood

Today, during a Zoom meeting to discuss genetic disorders, my mom chose to share my challenges and experiences. I might have approved, had she acknowledged my presence and asked my permission instead of speaking before me. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 209

SirEnigM0nk tells us more.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Monday 7 March 2022 20:55

Hello everyone, OP here. So to give a bit of background: our 14 month old was diagnosed with a relatively rare genetic defect which has contributed to her delayed development. My wife and I met with other parents whose kids have similar conditions to share our experiences and learn about treatment efforts. My mom was present, and though she has a right to speak her piece, she tends to speak off the cuff. She launched into my story without asking first. Further, she did so before my wife and I had a chance to share our daughter's story. So yeah, I felt thrown under the bus. Just a bit.

Extenuating circumstances

By No diploma - 05/02/2022 17:59

Today, I found out that my professor dropped me from class because I missed a Zoom meeting. The only class I needed to graduate. Why did I miss the meeting? Because I was in labor for 32 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 162

Our internet works fine, dumbass

By jenni - 19/09/2021 08:00

Today, I found out my son has been ditching his Zoom classes. He claims he couldn’t connect because of "technical difficulties." I can’t believe he seriously expected me to believe that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 141

Beware what you wish for

By germified - 08/09/2021 17:01

Today, my kids and I have been ecstatic about them being back in school. After a year on Zoom, they couldn’t wait to get back into the classroom because every day they bring home something new and interesting. This time, they brought home a cold so bad it’s knocked me flat on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 164

Let 'em in

By I don't know jack - 16/08/2021 04:01 - United States - Canal Winchester

Today, after none of my friends who said they'd be at the Jackbox game night I was hosting showed up on the Zoom call, I heard a knock at the door. All of them thought it was in person at my place, which is a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 872

Jimmy Handtricks

By Abandonded - 28/05/2021 08:02

Spicy

Today, my husband is a music teacher, and I walked in on him on Zoom with one of his female students. He said he was teaching her the guitar. He was naked from the waist down and she was fully nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 494

You deserved it 201

Creepy

By lilmatchgirl - 04/05/2021 00:59 - United States - Godley

Today, during a Zoom meeting, my 6 year-old daughter comes into my office, bloody all over, acting like nothing's wrong. She looks me dead in the eye and says, "Matilda's dead," and just walks out. Matilda is the neighbor's chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 156

Privacy violation

By privacy! - 02/05/2021 08:02

Today, I asked my mom to help my daughter with Zoom school while I handled an emergency. When I got back, I found out my mom went through my laptop containing all my documents, my emails and even the journal my therapist suggested I keep. She says she was looking for a Zoom link. Yeah right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 179

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 077

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, I saw my crush for the first time since she rejected me and said she was a lesbian. The man she was passionately making out with in the dining hall would state quite the opposite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 188

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 576

You deserved it 10 440

Today, after studying all night for an exam, I ran out to catch the bus. On my way to the bus, my hair got caught in a branch for some minutes. Thinking I'd missed the bus but thankfully didn't, I went on. A few minutes later I remembered that my exam had been postponed for 3 hours today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 165

You deserved it 10 221

Today, as someone with a large chest, I'm used to sometimes finding food in my clothes at the end of the day. However, when I took off my bra off, I found half of a dead grasshopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 139

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 032

You deserved it 10 079

Today, I've been sick for five days and I have two college essays and a exam coming up, along with a few other assignments. I've been working non-stop for five days with less than six hours of sleep per day, and more assignments are flowing in as I am working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 142