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By justkillm3 - 13/05/2010 04:07 - United States

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 186

You deserved it 9 143

Premonition

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a "Get Well Soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 941

You deserved it 2 546

By Sherry - 11/07/2012 13:29 - United States - Middletown

Spicy

Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 057

You deserved it 3 204

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 01:11 - Canada

Today, I was driving my motorcycle, and I noticed someone was in the ditch, so I went to go help them. When the ambulance showed up, they ran over my bike, totaling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 828

You deserved it 3 758

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 207

You deserved it 5 117

Thanks for your help

By wowthanksworld - 22/03/2013 15:42 - United States

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 117

You deserved it 3 275

By 2classicNot2 - 09/04/2011 07:52 - United States

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 34 929

By ewicsmelly - 29/12/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 755

You deserved it 56 777

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 839

You deserved it 15 017

I’m going on an adventure!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family has nicknamed me "The Hobbit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 771

You deserved it 4 375

Supernatural

By rongo12 - 11/05/2012 21:41

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 969

You deserved it 6 856

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 84 245

Scary!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 221

You deserved it 5 883

By Anonymous - 21/02/2011 03:28 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 371

You deserved it 5 002

By dollybabe - 09/01/2010 21:20 - Ireland

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 677

You deserved it 11 700

How could you?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2013 23:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 558

You deserved it 17 229

Family, family, family…

By mylifesucks - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 384

You deserved it 5 372

By Anonymous - 14/06/2014 21:32 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 728

You deserved it 25 372

By Angelica - 26/05/2011 03:19 - Canada

Today, I finally got the wedding dress I've been waiting months to see. It turns out that my mom ordered the dress 2 sizes smaller than my size, this way it will be "an incentive to lose weight". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 568

You deserved it 6 165

Creepy

By skid kid - 10/03/2012 02:09 - Canada

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 964

You deserved it 6 650

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 19:49 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 313

You deserved it 19 281

By sadgf - 25/07/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home from being deployed for the past 3 months. As soon as he gets out of the car, he walks right past me and goes to hug his dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 841

You deserved it 8 875

Figure it out

By foreveralone.jpg - 29/08/2012 20:51 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I listened to my roommate and her friend struggle with their math homework for an hour. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that I'm a math major and repeatedly offered my help. They'd rather fail math than be around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 543

You deserved it 2 931

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 19:11 - United States

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 257

You deserved it 20 961

By tinytitty - 23/03/2009 03:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 387

You deserved it 9 259

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 918

You deserved it 5 360

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Spicy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 250

You deserved it 32 739

Face it!

By MooCow - 13/07/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 598

You deserved it 15 792

By jisaac09 - 17/03/2013 05:05 - United States - Danville

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 012

You deserved it 8 121

jisaac09 tells us more.

jisaac09 25

Sunday 17 March 2013 16:45

"In there" as in in the same room. We just got done eating and I guess something didn't agree with her. I guess this beats the alternative (******** in the floor outside the bathroom). She was kind enough though to flush. I turned my head upside down and let the scolding hot water run into my nose. I feel clean.

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 950

You deserved it 5 421

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Covid Argument Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 13

The Top

Today, I put my 3 year old down for her regular nap. About an hour later I wake up from a dream where I was smelling something awful. When I woke up, the smell was still there, so I tracked it down. My daughter had decided to "fingerpaint" with the contents of a dirty diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 192

You deserved it 6 261

Today, I learned that "unskilled labor" does not mean people who are bad at their jobs. I’m 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 996

Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 171

You deserved it 4 298

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 174

You deserved it 68 755

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 801

You deserved it 6 266

Today, I gave my son a job as a shelf stacker in one of my stores. He is in his thirties and is so dumb that he has been fired from every other job for incompetence. I don’t want him to starve or lose his flat, but I also couldn’t give him an important job in case he screwed it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 197