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Clowned around, found out

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while on a first date, we ran into a street performer dressed as a clown. I have a phobia of clowns, so I froze in place for a solid 30 seconds before moving away as fast as I could. She spent the rest of the date looking at me oddly, then afterwards said we weren’t going to work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 206

Triangle

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, after I started dating a guy and a girl simultaneously to keep my options open, they turned out to be siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 1 005

Scratch cards

By Just my luck - 15/02/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was gambling on pull tabs. My friend, never much of a gambler, asked to take one. I was confused but gave one to him anyway. I got precisely $0 from them. The tab I gave to my friend was a winner. How much was it worth, you ask? Six hundred dollars. I'm very happy for him, but… seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 352

Recruitment hell

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, while interviewing a potential candidate for a job, I farted during a moment of silence. Trying to cover it up, I blurted out, "Wow, this chair is squeaky!" The candidate just stared at me, and I'm pretty sure their chances of getting the job squeaked away, because I couldn't bear seeing them every day after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 674

Screens

By IAKT - 23/02/2024 01:00 - Romania - Corbeanca

Today, I got home from a hard day and sent a project due tomorrow from my laptop. While I was in the bathroom, my parents took my laptop, which is all paid by me for no reason. I tried telling them multiple times that I have 3 projects due this week, but they said that's not a reason to stay on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 84

Baby fever

By Anonymous - 26/02/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I agreed to babysit my baby nephew for a week while his parents flew abroad for the MIL’s funeral. I had hoped having a baby around might convince my wife to consider having kids. Nope. She got so sick of the baby, she moved into a hotel until my sister comes home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 873

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my bathroom electrical outlet has a feature unique from the others, where it turns off on it's own and has to be reset. I found this out after returning an electric toothbrush for a refund, then paying double for another one, thinking the first one's charger didn't work thanks to the outlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 467

Mr Motivator

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 14:00 - Yemen - Sanaa

Today, I found that my medical school has lost its WFME (World Federation for Medical Education) accreditation and my certificate (that I should be obtaining in two years) will be worthless. To pour salt into the wound, I have finals next week and it's hard to stay motivated after this kind of news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 79

Good riddance

By Anonymous - 11/03/2024 00:00 - Norway - Honefoss

Today, my ex-best friend reached out just to be a dick. We all had tickets to a concert and she decided that she didn't want to go. She said that I could find someone to sell her ticket to, and I did, but then she sold it to someone that I'm not friends with anymore, and told me that she "can do whatever she wants :)". FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 129

Furry feral friend

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I'm covered in scratches because a feral cat found its way under the house and tore apart the A/C duct to climb its way into my room in the middle of the night. After 30 minutes of chasing it, I got rid of it, but my room now smells like cat piss and I'm applying Neosporin to places I should never have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 78

Plans

By Anonymous - 20/03/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife asked me what I wanted to do this weekend. It’s been so long since she asked, I froze up, unable to think of anything I might enjoy doing that she wouldn’t immediately say no to. It ended up the same as every weekend; we now have plans to go shopping, then visit her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 484

Gamer bros

By honey poopoo - 25/03/2024 09:00 - Germany - Landshut

Today, I learned that my friend is selling his PlayStation 5. A few weeks ago I bought a PlayStation 5 to be able to play with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 117

Dead bug walking

By Drink up - 28/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was about to take a drink from my cup when I saw a bug making its way along the lid. When I saw it going down into the drink, I quickly ripped off the lid to stop it. I wasn't fast enough, and watched it drown. Thanks for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 127

Creepy

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 19:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at a Dollar Store today with my roommate (I'm 31, my roommate is 32) where some guy stalked us all through the store, and even waited outside the store for us. I had to resort to pretending the Uber driver was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 95

Tired

By sick of this - 01/04/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I’m tired of women taking drastic measures to avoid me, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. Recently, I was talking to an old classmate from high school and she faked deleting her profile to avoid following up with our talk about plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 483

Love is love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 10:00 - Sierra Leone

Today, it was my best friend's wedding. The night ended with her in tears outside her hotel suite, where she confessed that she has a serious crush on me. I have a serious crush on her too. We're both straight women. I'm really confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 164

Poor little dude

By One mad mother - 06/04/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, as a joke, my husband filled my son's airtight water bottle with seltzer water before we went to kindergarten. The top blew off when he tried to drink, hitting him in the nose and spraying him with cold water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 132

Alexa, play "Mind Games" by John Lennon

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 06:00 - United States - Odenton

Today, my boyfriend was cold and distant with me, after holding me the day before and telling me to my face we were OK and that he wasn’t upset anymore. I tried to give him space originally but he insisted he didn’t need it. Now i just feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 134

Talk to me

By Anonymous - 16/04/2024 10:00 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I called the suicide hotline, only to get lectured by a very condescending man. I hung up and called back, only for the other line to pick up and hang up on me immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 98

Kinda abusive, you know?

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I have spheksophobia, a fear of wasps and hornets. Instead of being supportive, my parents have decided that threatening to beat the dog shit out of me whenever I react to a wasp in the house is the best way to "cure" me. They also won't spray against wasps because dad claims it irritates his allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 98

That would be really great

By Anonymous - 19/04/2024 14:00 - United States - North Brunswick

Today, I actually googled whether masturbation could induce weight loss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 326

Unreliable

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, despite getting to the bus stop early, the first bus didn’t turn up. The second one was late, and severe traffic caused me to be late for work. I can’t afford for my wages to be docked from this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 117

Brained

By Qwizzyk - 24/04/2024 17:00 - Russia - Tula

Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 690

Weekend at Bernie's

By Anonymous - 25/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 85

Caturday visitor

By Bored - 27/04/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I once again came to the realization of how boring my life is when I noticed that the stray cat in my yard walks in a really silly manner, and I watched it for what seemed like an eternity, utterly fascinated, until it left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 158

i'm still a human being

By ;-; - 29/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 110

My finest hour

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 199

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, if you asked me how old I felt, I’d say in my late eighties, with beginning dementia and some sort of terminal disease. Unfortunately, I’m only 41 and my doctor claims there is nothing wrong with me whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 129

So long…

By Anonymous - 10/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I'm depressed because my long-time dentist, who I've had for nearly two decades, is retiring and I'm having my last appointment with him. It's also depressing that one of my only meaningful relationships is with my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 136

Inflation

By Anonymous - 12/05/2024 07:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my need for medication that increases bruising collided with my need for major oral surgery. I look like a chipmunk who lost a fight. Just in time for Mother’s Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 82

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Jealousy Friends AITA Embarrassing Health Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents ADHD Medication Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy six months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 229

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

The Top

Today, I find it to be absolute horseshit that I’ve been denied disability benefits even though I’ve been in and out (mostly in) treatment for cancer over the past four years. Meanwhile my 600 lbs+ neighbor has been draining the system for decades. I can’t even find a pro bono attorney to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 127

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 422

You deserved it 26 486

Today, instead of getting ready for Mother’s Day weekend, I’m recovering from emergency surgery. Last year my kid gave me COVID for Mother’s Day. The year before, my whole family forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 112

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me and now has a 4 year old, and as he’s told me, we should get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 94

Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 730

You deserved it 18 078

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 346

You deserved it 2 606