The Top

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The top of the day

The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Whta? How? Why?

By pregz - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 630

You deserved it 2 663

Tonight, on First Dates…

By dumper - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 356

You deserved it 5 618

None of my business

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 19:00

Today, we witnessed a car hit a cyclist. My husband didn’t stop walking, even when I told him we should help. He said, “Why? Do we know him?” He then refused to help because getting involved and doing something wrong would risk us being sued instead of the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 106

Bartering

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 13:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my 8 year-old niece gave me back a Fluttershy plush I gifted her 4 years ago. When I told her it was a gift from the heart, she insisted on exchanging it for something of equal value. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 56

Crushed

By Need lipo money - 31/01/2025 18:00 - United States - Miami

Today, the guy I have a crush on told me that "if only he could find a girl with my personality." I asked him what I was missing to be his girl, since I apparently have the personality he wants. He told me, “Sorry to hurt your feelings, but perhaps a liposuction and a nose job.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 91

Classic bro moment

By Basic respect desired - 31/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his friend were talking politics when my boyfriend referred to several female politicians as "yappy feminist scolds." They both laughed like oafs. I couldn't kick them both out fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 143

Beaming with pride

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband came running with his phone to “show me what our son did.” Was it a funny dance video? No. Was it a neat drawing? No. It was a turd. A foot long turd curled up in the toilet bowl. And it came out of our 5 year-old. He’s his daddy’s boy all right. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 35

Step one: admitting we are powerless

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to start controlling my drinking and he told me pretty much that he didn’t think I could do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 54

When in doubt, blame everything on "woke"

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 06:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I walked into work, only to be greeted by the office asshole saying, “Whoa! You’re still here?! I thought for sure when Trump ended that DEI crap they wouldn’t let you keep your job. Welcome back I guess.” Can we say HR MEETING?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 14

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Love Alcohol Vegan Health Singing Work Annoying Sports Miscellaneous Accident Healthy Lifestyle Sex Intimacy Kids Gifts Money Addiction Sexism Coworkers Racism Bodyshaming Parenting Poopoo peepee Cute Weddings AITA Erratas Ironic

The Top

Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 235

You deserved it 158

Today, I was ecstatic to have received a friend request from my crush of grade 4 after 11 years. He's grown up to be such a hottie. I quickly accepted his request, he messaged me and we ended up chatting for hours. Later, when I messaged him, he called me clingy, and unfriended me from Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 718

You deserved it 2 048

The Top

Today, due to the inability to preview academic fields, I'm stuck spending the rest of my life in anthropology. If I had gone into the arts, I would've had fun with my fake major, but the one I picked turned out to be worthless, not just socioeconomically, but intellectually as well. It's too late to change majors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 857

Today, I was yelled at by my mom for not communicating to the rest of my family about the zoom call SHE planned and asked for. The call was to celebrate my birthday. Apparently, it was my responsibility to coordinate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 109

Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 902

You deserved it 5 605

Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 309

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 303

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 131

You deserved it 13 422