All the FMLs

Distant

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 00:01

Today, when my husband told me years ago he wanted to parent just like his dad used to, I had no idea that meant helping with practical stuff like cooking and nappy changing, but otherwise ignoring our kid's emotional well-being and telling them to buzz off when they try to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 167

Hiding from the drama

By Tiff8any - 14/07/2021 21:59

Today, my boyfriend asked me to untag him in our vacation photos together. Last month, he hid his relationship status and hid every trace of me. He says it’s because he doesn’t want any "social media drama" and people knowing about his "personal life." We’ve been together for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 262

You deserved it 325

Sweet Sixteen

By Hailie - 14/07/2021 20:01

Today, it was my Sweet 16. My cousin threw a tantrum in the middle of it. She popped balloons, threw chairs around, and threw my gifts off the balcony. Reason being, she turned 16 last year and didn’t get a party. She perhaps forgot that last year we were in a pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 147

Grooming tips

By love bitten - 14/07/2021 10:01 - Australia

Today, after two months of having a bird, she finally trusts me enough to perch on and even preen me. Unfortunately, it seems she thinks my freckles are lice and she's made it her mission to bite them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 157

Stressed out

By annaT00many - 14/07/2021 14:00

Today, I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant. I have to go in weekly for stress tests. Last night, I had a very stressful dream about leaving my 4-year-old at home alone, which stressed me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 202

Mama's boy

By vacay no way - 14/07/2021 06:01

Today, I was asking my husband to help me finalize plans for our upcoming vacation. He, however, would rather pout and sulk because I don’t want him to bring his mom along. She’s been with us on our last few trips and it’s hard to get any alone time. I’m considering just going alone at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 174

Dark humor

By Anonymous - 14/07/2021 04:01

Today, whilst I was setting up a room for a paediatric first aid course, some of the students arrived. At that precise moment I dropped one of the dolls, and for whatever reason, the first words out of my mouth were, "Oops, I killed the baby." Death glares ensued very quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 285

The bell's end

By Anonymous - 14/07/2021 08:01 - Australia - Kenwick

Today, I dinged a desk-bell at head office and everyone burst into a round of applause for me. I was reamed by HR and served written notice to not ding the bell, because, "Only agents are allowed ding the bell, and only when they close a sale." Sorry, I didn't know about the bell guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 210

Oh, hi… you

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 18:01 - United States - Exeter

Today, a girl said hi to me very enthusiastically at school, and I heard her friends laughing afterward. I was too lazy to put in my contact lenses this morning so I couldn't tell who it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 697

Unhappy Birthday

By Masiro - 13/07/2021 13:00 - United States - Pendleton

Today, I traveled 3 hours to a town I hate, to spend my birthday with my mom and brother and his family. My mom didn't realize it was my birthday until the cake slice with candles was placed in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 182

You deserved it 78

Manic pixie dream girl

By now what - 13/07/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to get the expensive pixie cut she’s been "dying" for. As soon as we got home, my husband burst into hysterical laughter and pointed out that she looks exactly like he did in high school. Now she’s sobbing and begging for either a wig or even more expensive extensions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 228

Special family

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 18:01

Today, my son has complex special needs, but apparently some of my deliberately ignorant relatives put no effort into learning more about his issues, and just call him "the retarded one" when they think I can’t hear them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 175

Karen strikes again

By Ihateithere - 13/07/2021 16:01

Today, I was reduced to tears and called a "useless fat bitch" by a customer I was serving. She didn’t realize that the steak fajitas she’d ordered had steak in them. She said she was a vegetarian. She failed to mention it, but apparently it was "my fault" because I “should have known." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 120

Alas, poor Donald

By Hit and Run - 13/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 99

Quit while you're ahead

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 05:01 - United States - Delhi

Today, I'm an executive at a startup game studio, making only $18,000 a year after 3 years of helping build the company. I was promised a raise once we secured our Seed B funding. So, after our investors backed us for $4.5 million recently, I followed up with the CEO about this. He responded by sending me a troll face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 125

Red faces all round

By ladyhavery - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my hot co-worker had to use my computer, so he called me while I was at lunch for my login password. It was his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 880

You deserved it 50 230

Home delivery

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 08:01

Today, I received two letters: an eviction notice and a Dear John. Neither went through the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 91

**** paddleboarders

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 00:01 - United States - Miami Beach

Today, some paddleboarders screamed bloody murder and called marine patrol on my family's friends, because the paddleboarders thought they were going to get hit or run over or whatever, even though they were politely asked to move out of the way multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 225

Weird reason to leave, but OK

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 04:01

Today, I moved out a few weeks ago because I was sick of my husband not helping around the house, and told him he’d never manage without me. I checked today while he was at work. The house is the cleanest I’ve ever seen it; apparently he doesn’t need me and most of the mess was actually mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 3 504

Cocobananas

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 02:01

Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 177

It's not Mondays you hate, it's capitalism

By I’m poor too! - 13/07/2021 00:01

Today, I was accosted by an angry homeless man at the recycling center, since I refused to give him my saved up bottles and cans. He insisted that he needed it more and I was "poaching his turf". I needed the recycling to put gas in my car, just to make it to work and hope I could make it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 104

Second opinion

By annoyed - 12/07/2021 21:01 - United Kingdom - Banbury

Today, after three years of being in physical pain, which affects my health and daily life, I was told it's an undiagnosable condition that I'll have to deal with for a long time, as there are no answers and no fixable solution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 100

SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!

By Anonymous - 12/07/2021 14:00 - United States - Verona

Today, it was one of those days when my housemates thinks they can bug me every five minutes when I'm trying to work from home. Doing this or talking about that, wrecking my train of thought on complicated work until it's a railyard of disaster. Is it five o'clock yet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 123

Personality matters

By hjufidskndf - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been asked by multiple people, "Why are you going out with such an ugly girl?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 931

You deserved it 4 180

Anger management

By Manuel Gearbox - 12/07/2021 18:01 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I drove a different work vehicle, one with the cupholder right behind the gear lever. After multiple accidental attempts at changing gears with my Coke bottle, I threw it out the window in a temper. I then got busted for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 1 654

Time to say goodbye

By Anonymous - 12/07/2021 16:01

Today, my mom yelled at me because I didn't hear to her calls while I was listening to music. She told me she wouldn't trust me again, that I'm worthless. When I began crying, she told me that I was psychologically manipulate her. It's been like this all the time lately. I can't wait to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 151

Spookmagooked

By kellbell24 - 12/07/2021 14:01

Today, I went to my husband’s funeral. Not his real one, his rehearsal funeral. He just wants to make sure everything will go according to plan. As far as I know, he is a very healthy 26-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 118

Godless

By fullyajar - 12/07/2021 11:01

Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 129

Don't move

By Anonymous - 12/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, I developed a serious case of diarrhea. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't suffering from a severe cough as well. I'm terrified to cough again, because I'm running out of clean underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 84

Gamers rise up

By Bruh. - 12/07/2021 04:01

Today, despite the fact that I've lived alone for four years, and have a well-paid job, my father is still whining about, "Why am I still playing video games at age 32?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 148

Keywords

Family Health Argument Thanksgiving Politics Frustration Sex Intimacy Miscellaneous Love AITA Awkward First Dates Road rage Transportation Cars Dogs Animals Cute Am I overreacting? Alcohol Relatable Food Holidays Contraception Cheating Suspicious Poopoo peepee Kids Gross

The Top

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 8 078

Today, my best friend called me a slut during an argument, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. She lost her virginity at 13 years-old, and all four of her kids have a different dad. When I mentioned it, she gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, my dad gave me a speech about being gay. He said he'll accept me if that's who I truly am, but he wants me to think it over first. I'm an actor in a play. I had to explain the concept of wearing costumes and acting like someone else to him. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 082

You deserved it 4 247

Today, my professor let a guy into my philosophy class 30 minutes late because his excuse was, "Time is just an illusion." This is the same professor that kicked me out of the classroom for being 2 minutes late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 756

You deserved it 3 019

Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 90

Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 184

You deserved it 7 804

Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 349

You deserved it 8 244

Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 089

You deserved it 10 010