OP here: this is not the first time she’s done this! I’ve talked about this two years ago and how I find it incredibly boring to listen to the same songs three months!! Of course the others don’t mind since they’re afraid of conflicts plus I’m the one with the office very close to hers!

Overreact much?!

By Kohsukeff - 06/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, my dad called me a "worthless human being", and told me that I'm "better off committing crimes and living life in a prison cell", all because I haven't gotten into the industry I studied for right out of college. I'm currently at a temp job doing accounting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 94

What a coinkydink

By Anonymous - 06/12/2020 22:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his best friend. Who just so happened to be the guy who made my high school years a living hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 87

Jimin causing drama time!

By Callie - 06/12/2020 20:02 - United States

Today, my daughter got mad at me for saying I didn't really get the appeal of Kpop. She went off at me, saying that I should "stan BTS" or something to that effect. She's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 168

The Walking Dead

By Derek Wheeler - 06/12/2020 08:00 - United States - Longview

Today, we overheard a customer in our store talking on the phone about how she'd been exposed to someone positive for COVID-19, and was supposed to be at home in quarantine just in case. The terrifying thing is how many other people come into our store when they shouldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 140

Reality is weirder than fiction

By Broken Arm - 06/12/2020 14:01

Today, I found out that while it is unlikely you'll break your arm by catching it in the door, it is perfectly possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 86

The more things change…

By J.O.S - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the '90s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 143

You deserved it 9 541

Happy Birthday baby!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2020 18:02 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 100

First Dates

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 23:06 - United States - Hesperia

Today, a guy took me on a date to McDonald’s. I smiled, but told him politely that I don’t eat fast food. He called me a stuck-up snob and a high maintenance gold digger who didn’t deserve him. I’m neither. I have IBS and greasy food sets me off. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 172

Best of both worlds

By Alyce - 05/12/2020 23:02 - United States - Lewistown

Today, I was finally diagnosed with insomnia. The trouble is, because of my physical disability, I also have diagnosed chronic fatigue. Barely can stay awake during the day, can't sleep at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 93

Little shit

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 20:01 - Malaysia

Today, I went to the graveyard with my little brother to visit my grandfather's grave. While we were there, my brother suddenly asked me, "Can you die now? I hate you." He's 7 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 167

Looking good grief

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 23:01

Today, I was at a grocery store buying ice cream after the tragedy of losing my grandma. When I got to the cash register, the cashier saw the sadness in my eyes and said, "It's OK, you'll find the one someday, one that can look at your inner beauty and not care about the rest." He thought I'd got broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 171

Covidiots

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 19:08 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I had to abandon my shopping after a Covidiot directly sneezed all over it. He took his mask off because he was about to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 248

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 12:28 - Canada - Holyrood

Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 148

Such a rewarding career

By DirtyNurse - 05/12/2020 07:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 186

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

By Lonely - 05/12/2020 07:58 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my only daughter and her boyfriend sat me down for an important talk. I was thrilled, thinking they were engaged or pregnant. They actually wanted to tell me they're moving half way around the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 174

Can't do the time? Don't do the crime!

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 19:58 - United States - Mountain View

Today, my entire family was diagnosed with COVID. My son's school decided I was well enough to homeschool him on Zoom all day. My head feels like it’s going to explode and all I want to do is sleep. Did I mention my ADHD son has no symptoms? FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 186

Weird-ass kids

By fml9124 - 05/12/2020 02:02

Today, my Asian girlfriend broke up with me because I'm not Asian, I'm Irish-American, 100%. She doesn't have a problem with me, though. It's her kids. Her grown children want her dating Asian men. She's 62, I'm 63. Is that like reverse racism when the kids are more racist than the parents? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 141

A case of Keemstar beard?

By Declan - 04/12/2020 21:58 - United States - Miami

Today, I finally got my boyfriend to go get his lockdown beard trimmed. He came back with the kind of pointy monstrosity you see on people like Keemstar. I'm tempted to prune it in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 261

Obsession by Calvin Klein

By Carrie - 04/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was at a party with my crush, but I didn’t talk to him. After, I walked out to my car, and saw a dent in my car. I then noticed that the dent was exactly the size of my crush’s head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 342

NYC public transport

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 17:02 - United States - New York

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 188

Passing

By reader - 04/12/2020 14:03

Today, I went to go to an aerobics class. Shen the instructor walked in, she went up to me and told me it was a women only class. I am a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 159

Christmas is dangerous

By LondonTor - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I was moving my sofa to make space for the Christmas tree and the sofa slipped on the wooden floor, thus flipping my right big toenail up 90° so it is now only connected at the cuticle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 324

You deserved it 263

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, as a gynaecologist, I’ve spent years telling people to be safe during sex. I should have known better, but I let my vagina do the thinking for me in a moment of weakness, had a meaningless anonymous one night stand, and I'm now pregnant and positive for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 868

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 443

You deserved it 11 394

The Top

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 271 539

You deserved it 17 977

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 630

You deserved it 27 478

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 219

You deserved it 5 118

Today, I felt things were getting serious enough with my boyfriend that it was only fair to tell him I have a lot of credit card debt from helping out my ill mom before she died. He broke up with me and called me a gold digger, even though I didn’t ask him for a single penny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 103

Today, I went out wearing the highest heels I had, but was nervous about falling because I'm such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 541

You deserved it 6 078

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 148

You deserved it 2 602