By realnotimaginary - 15/12/2016 06:00
All the FMLs
Run away, now
By Anonymous - 15/12/2016 04:50
By tyler_powellROTC - 15/12/2016 03:43 - United States - Irving
By band13geek - 15/12/2016 01:59
band13geek tells us more.
By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay
Lock your doors
By homealone - 14/12/2016 23:27 - United States - Poughkeepsie
By bballer4_life - 14/12/2016 23:22 - United States - Erie
By LovelessNewlywed - 14/12/2016 22:41
By fuckingcool - 14/12/2016 20:59 - United States - Ortonville
By Imagino1234 - 14/12/2016 18:52 - Canada - Prince George
By Just an Exam - 14/12/2016 18:37 - United States
By notamonkey - 14/12/2016 17:24
notamonkey tells us more.
OP here, I didn't expect this to get posted so I made an account :) Your comments genuinely made me laugh! Since this got posted, here's some background for you: this happened to me two years ago, after I had worked for them for over a decade. While it wasn't the greatest job in the world, it felt like a calling to me. There's nothing I love more than making people (especially children) laugh. I later found out that they fired me because my boss wanted to impress his new girlfriend by giving her niece (who happens to be a chimp handler/animal trainer) a job. It was a small company and they couldn't afford to keep the both of us on, so I had to go :( But it's all good, I got lucky and found myself a similar job with better pay and benefits. :)
By pimmster - 14/12/2016 16:54 - United Kingdom - Smethwick
pimmster tells us more.
I'm 19 so it is a Fml
By unhappystudent - 14/12/2016 12:32 - United States - Storrs Mansfield
Money money money, must be funny
By Anonymous - 14/12/2016 12:06
By needabettermirror - 14/12/2016 11:07 - United States - Holland
By violetbcracecar - 14/12/2016 03:48 - United States - Suisun City
By JessMelodique - 14/12/2016 03:01
By htx91 - 13/12/2016 19:55 - United States - San Antonio
By Guessmyproffhatesme - 13/12/2016 19:54
By cantgetabreak - 13/12/2016 18:50
By drivingmecrazy - 13/12/2016 16:54 - United States - Stamford
By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 15:06 - United States
By Ugh - 13/12/2016 14:39
By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 13:27 - United States - Mountain View
By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 13:22 - United States - Wilmington
By really - 13/12/2016 08:24 - Australia
By jimmyironic - 13/12/2016 04:16 - United States - Lorain
jimmyironic tells us more.
for everyone telling me I should have grabbed a new set of gloves, believe me, I tried. I searched the entire house and asked my brother for gloves too. there were no others. I also had a date in 3 hours with my girlfriend and needed to get this done and get showered before it was time to leave. i didn't have money to run to the store to buy new gloves. And grandma wasn't home to loan me the money. Nor would she be home until about 30 minutes before I had to leave. So I just had to suck it up and clean them then. I also live pretty far from my grandma's house and wouldn't be able to see her again until Christmas. so this was my last chance to clean them before they were frozen solid.
By oddbrien - 13/12/2016 03:34 - United States - Baltimore
By marcranger - 13/12/2016 02:20 - United States - Silverthorne
marcranger tells us more.
OP here. The only additional points I haven't covered in my responses are: 1. I have a high-clearance SUV and low athletic ability. Since I managed to jump high enough to hit the top of the doorframe, I was pretty impressed with myself once I cleaned up! 2. This is my third published FML. 2 out of 3 have taken place at gas stations. This is clearly a sign that I need to sell my car and move to...uh...somewhere that doesn't have cars or something.
Keywords
OP here. The child was holding the pencil when I asked for the high five and *might* have not realized what he had done, but he isn't one to follow the rules, which I enforce more so than some of the other teachers, so he could have done it on purpose. I'm not really sure. All I know is that it hurt! But at least he should know now to not stab people.