All the FMLs

Yeah he thinks he's better than me , I feel like a Cinderella after midnight while he's the prince. He's always bragging about how good looking, smart, and charismatic he is and now it's worse. -_-

Hey guys, OP here (: I was so excited to hear that this got published!! Thank you for all your feedback, even the ones saying I deserved what happened. I believe due explanations are in order. First of all: I wasn't the one who lit the Cheetos on fire, that was courtesy of my older brother. He saw a post on iFunny saying that Cheetos are flammable, so, naturally he felt the need to see which flavor of Cheetos burned the fastest. He then he ran into my room to show me his discovery, waving a flaming Cheeto around proudly. I'm assuming you can guess what happened next.

OP here. Looks like I caused some confusion, so let me clear it up. In the US, the changeable tops of a bottle are called nipples. Basically, a female customer gave my **** a twist.

haha, yeah i'm the OP. didn't know you need an account to comment...but I just wanted to clear up something. I didn't want my parents to pay, a simple "you got in" would have been nice. I was planning on doing ROTC and letting Uncle Sam handle my tuition.

I'm the OP. I'm the one with the Fabulous Fingerbiters. These chickens aren't food: they're overindulged pets. Each one has a name, so chicken stew isn't an option. I've named them after various vaudeville stars or actresses because they're a lot of feathery drama queens. Actually, biting the hand that feeds them is right in line with the entertainment-industry theme I chose when naming them. A chicken bite from a baby bird isn't really painful at all because their little beaks are so soft. Even an adult bird's peck isn't painful in the same way a dog or cat bite is painful. They can't break the skin, although if they get you in the face it can leave a scratch or welt. A parrot, by contrast, can take your finger off. Chickens just aren't strong enough. These are going to be lovely laying hens. They're just a bit cheeky. I think I can break them of the habit by switching for a while to grass instead of mealworms, by *not* dropping the goodies no matter what, and moving on to the second phase of training, where I train them to hop onto my lap and sit there to be fed and petted. When training a chicken, it's important to use food as a reward. They're not like dogs and they don't consider attention a reward. They don't even consider petting a reward until they're conditioned to do so, because it's not a normal behavior or sensation for them. But it's straight-up operant conditioning, right out of B.F. Skinner