Vacation

The stench

By Anonymous - 17/05/2022 14:00

Today, my mom is on vacation and I’m taking care of her pets. I also get to clean the entire house. No, she didn’t ask me to do that. It’s just that I had to hold my breath every time I opened the fridge, and there is no surface clean enough to actually touch, so I simply couldn’t help myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 159

Crime scene

By Anonymous - 13/05/2022 10:00

Today, I rented a holiday cottage, assuring the owner I was a very tidy person. Then I sliced my finger while cooking and got blood on the kitchen towels and the cream rug, then the wound opened up again during my shower, I didn’t notice and now there’s blood on the white bathroom towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 239

Welcome to Glasgow!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 02:00

Today, we arrived in Scotland for our holiday, specifically because we were told it’s one of the friendliest places in the UK. First I was mugged, then my car was broken into and my laptop stolen, then we tried to at least go out for dinner and a drunk told us to, "Fuck off back to 'Curry Country'." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 193

What did I do?

By Gringo - 29/03/2022 22:00

Today, a gorgeous woman on a train told her friend she thought I was hot in Spanish, assuming I was a dumb gringo tourist. In fact, I speak Spanish fluently, my wife is Colombian, and she was standing right next to me. My wife can’t rationalize my street value, and made me sleep on the fold out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 254

Ego boost

By FatBeachGirl - 21/03/2022 00:00

Today, I was feeling confident, so I rented a cabana at the beach and put on my best swimsuit. I was at the bar when suddenly the stool gave way under me. I was drenched in Mojito and a bunch of spring breakers laughed at me, making fat jokes. I spent the rest of the day crying in the cabana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 202

CBD FML

By Anonymous - 15/03/2022 16:00

Today, I'm planning a long awaited trip to Australia to see family I haven't seen since before the pandemic. I use CBD for pain, and everything I've read contradicts itself. I have no idea if I can take it with me, buy it there, or have to get a prescription or whatever. I guess I'm going to be in pain the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 187

Alexa, play "Wide Open Space" by Mansun

By revolutionbabe - 14/03/2022 10:00

Today, I don't have to set my alarm. I don't have to be anywhere. I can stay up late. But I'm a creature of habit and routine, and having an off day frightens me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 231

Dodgy

By Anonymous - 13/02/2022 14:00

Today, I got a letter from a hostel I stayed at saying they were going to sue me for leaving them a negative Google review. I was the victim of a $7000 theft crime there. They refused to call the police and ambulance when it happened, and they didn’t even give me my money I paid to stay there back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 126

Not now!

By Anonymous - 29/12/2021 02:01

Today, on my long-awaited vacation, I got a phone call from my sister. Her childhood friend died. She bawled on the phone, and my plans were ruined. My husband said it was selfish of her to do such a thing when she knew we were on vacation, so she ramped up the drama times ten. She and her friend used to bully me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 381

Thanks, I hate it

By Herbie - 08/12/2021 23:01

Today, the rearranged meeting, for which I was instructed by my boss to cancel my holiday for, got cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 95

Family Matters

By Grinch - 01/12/2021 17:01

Today, I already hate the holidays. My mom has been trying to be helpful, but has severe undiagnosed memory problems that our family ignores. They've also ignored all the house repairs, but have no problem consoling her while she cries how mean I am for missing her party, because I used my vacation time to fix the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 120

Priorities

By About2bhomeless - 09/11/2021 11:01

Today, my roommate and I received a non-payment notice from our landlord, over a dishonored check that was used to pay the rent. I give my roommate money for my share and she handles the checks. Apparently, her trip to Puerto Rico was more important than paying rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 562

You deserved it 181

There's no such thing as a coincidence

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 11:00 - Germany - Dornum

Today, I created a shared album with over a 1000 pictures and videos from a romantic vacation with my girlfriend of 3 months. Later, I got an angry text from my ex. It seems I accidentally added everything to a shared work-related album with my ex, which I didn't realise I had. My ex thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 565

No rest

By Anonymous - 30/10/2021 11:00

Today, I'd booked a day off work so I could sit and read books all day. I told my wife this, and her response was basically, "Well since you're at home not doing anything important, here’s a list of jobs that need doing." I wasn’t aware enjoying reading counted as doing nothing important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 356

Cancel culture strikes again

By Disneydont - 27/10/2021 14:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was supposed to leave for Disney. Our trip was cancelled last year because of the pandemic. This morning, we found out my sister’s boyfriend, who was a last-minute add-on to the trip, has COVID. Cancelled again. Maybe next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 159

Ball and chain

By Anonymous - 10/09/2021 20:01

Today, my parents tricked me by claiming we were going on holiday, but stopped at grandma"s first, "just to say hi", then left me there with my bags. They dumped me with grandma and went on holiday without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 160

Make plans, Mom laughs

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 16:00

Today, as I can’t afford a “real” vacation, I’m trying to get my car converted for camping in time for what promises to be perfect weather next week. Meanwhile, my mom booked a trip to Switzerland. For next week. Guess who gets to stay home and feed the animals? FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 147

How to invite someone without actually inviting them

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 07:59 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my parents asked me if I was sure I didn't want to join them on a family trip tomorrow with my sister. I was never invited, and unlike the rest of the family, I have a full-time job where I can't just take days off with no warning. This is how they announce most "family trips" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 70

Libertarian dream

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 11:01 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, it's been 50 hours since our power outage began. The authorities don't seem to be bothered enough to fix the problem and are constantly making excuses for delays. Did I mention my warm water fish are dying from lack of heat, and it's my time off work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 93

Mama's boy

By vacay no way - 14/07/2021 06:01

Today, I was asking my husband to help me finalize plans for our upcoming vacation. He, however, would rather pout and sulk because I don’t want him to bring his mom along. She’s been with us on our last few trips and it’s hard to get any alone time. I’m considering just going alone at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 174

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 21:59

Today, for my husband's birthday next weekend, I booked a holiday which he was happy about… until I told him it was a surprise family holiday so I'd invited his kids and their families. Now he doesn’t want to go and has made up a fake work emergency. He’s a bus driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 1 243

Do not disturb

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 14:00

Today, I’m camping in the middle of nowhere and my mom wrote me not one, but two emails asking where my car keys are, because she needs to move my car. She apparently did not think to check in the key cabinet first. You know, the one where we keep… keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 105

Gratitude walks

By Liam - 06/05/2021 02:01

Today, my girl called me a "brainless, insensitive prick" Why? Because I wanted to surprise her with flowers since she’s been on vacation for 3 weeks and I hadn’t seen her. She was badly sunburned. I’d bought sunflowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 118

I'm not a monster, I'm a human being

By Casey - 18/03/2021 11:01

Today, on vacation my wife asked if I wanted her to take my picture. I realized it was the first time in our 10 years she had asked me that question. Moments later I realized it's the first time in my life that anyone's ever asked me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 114

Death wish

By nima - 23/02/2021 02:01

Today, my parents went on vacation and told me that it is "absolutely imperative" that I do the dishes while they are gone. Instead, the sink decided to break and nothing will fix it, so I'm currently writing out my will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 123

Idiocracy

By Faith - 09/02/2021 11:01

Today, I got my vacation days denied because I'm "too valuable", while the moron I work with gets his days off because he's "easy to do without." Well, I guess I won't be spending much time with my girlfriend who flew across the country to see me. Glad I'm such a valuable employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 123

Bad timing

By Anna - 20/12/2020 05:02

Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 85

For the life of him indeed

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 08:08

Today, my significant other decided it’s safe to travel to Brazil for Christmas break, even though they are heavily impacted by Covid. He doesn't understand for the life of him why we should skip this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 176

Cheap-ass lying bro-bro!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2020 04:07 - Netherlands - Bergeyk

Today, I found out my boyfriend is booking my dream vacation to Bali with his brothers, 6 months after he told me we couldn't go on vacation this year because he doesn’t have the money. They planned this within a week. I had been planning it with him for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 304

You deserved it 210

Fire!

By Mel Cluze - 22/10/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were spending the night at a hotel. We were awoken at 3 a.m. by the fire alarm. We quickly got dressed, went down the stairs to the reception area… and were told that it was a false alarm. All because some jerk lit a cigarette in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 161

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Gross Animals Cats Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Anniversary Boredom Intimacy Abuse Ironic AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Drunk Kids Parents Gun control

The Top

Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 471

You deserved it 1 271

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 030

You deserved it 3 408

The Top

Today, I woke up and took my mom to work. It wasn't until after I got home, logged on Facebook and looked at the upcoming birthdays to see that it was her birthday today. No wonder she was silent the entire car ride and slammed the door on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 824

You deserved it 57 023

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 858

You deserved it 2 798

Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 047

You deserved it 4 347

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude, how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guy's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 929

You deserved it 71 340

Today, I was at a concert and I thought the cute drummer was winking at me, so I winked back. Then I realized he was blinking sweat out his eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 518

You deserved it 894

Today, my mother told me: "If you didn't exist, I wouldn't stay with your father". So it's MY fault if she's having problems with him? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 151

You deserved it 2 441