Work

By cashier - 12/07/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 583

You deserved it 3 325

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 878

You deserved it 6 559

By Meow - 11/07/2009 06:28 - Australia

Today, while working at McDonald's a car full of obnoxious teens came through. They had made a $30 order, and handed me a tin of small change, claiming that on a McDonald's ad they saw that we, employees, liked counting change. I had to count out $30 in spare change during a rush period at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 282

You deserved it 4 893

By unemployed - 10/07/2009 15:08 - United States

Today, I was at a second interview for a job that I really need as I got laid off last month. Midway through the interview, I went to cross my legs and realized I had 2 different shoes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 137

You deserved it 20 876

You never know

By Mezzlegasm - 10/07/2009 08:20 - United States

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "Oh, like you're responsible for a whole family!" She is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 094

You deserved it 51 272

Thanks, I guess

By ST3PH - 09/07/2009 19:17 - Canada

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 705

You deserved it 3 712

Busy?

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 16:27 - France

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 102

You deserved it 56 891

Slapstick

By aireun - 09/07/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, my laptop plug got stuck in the wall outlet. I stood there for 10 minutes violently trying to yank it out. My boss came in and screamed at me for making noise. I was angry, so I glared at him and yanked on the plug as hard as I could. It dislodged itself noiselessly and I fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 279

You deserved it 42 136

All fax, no printer

By pharmn00b - 08/07/2009 17:52 - United States

Today, at work, I was calling customers to tell them that they had prescriptions waiting to be picked up. It was a long list and every time I reached an answering machine I left our number so they could call us back. When I was finished, the pharmacist told me I been giving out our fax number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 887

You deserved it 39 214

By joybirdnot_13 - 08/07/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 300

You deserved it 47 128

Oh, hello…

By superclutz - 07/07/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

Look up here

By Cody - 06/07/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 931

You deserved it 53 785

Revealed

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 22:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 935

You deserved it 83 427

By DoesNotLikeCubes - 06/07/2009 20:08 - Qatar

Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 638

You deserved it 11 013

By SDworkinggirl - 05/07/2009 19:04 - United States

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 328

You deserved it 4 229

SDworkinggirl tells us more.

SDworkinggirl 0

Monday 6 July 2009 8:22

Okay so let me clarify some things that people are either stupid or confused about. I voluteered in an organization that has retirement homes all over the country, and helps seniors with limited means. I started volunteering, because it looks good on a resume and I was having a hard time getting a job. So I started volunteering at this retirement home, but I quickly grew to love it, and soon I was working hard because I truely enjoyed visiting with the seniors and delivering mail to them, among the other things I did there. Unknown to me, some of the residents started to complain about how I was nicer and more caring than most of the nurses. They didn't hire me because, I am not a nurse, and I don't have a college degree yet, so there was no position open for me. And the guy who "fired" me let me know why I was being let go, kinda in secret otherwise I doubt I would have been told why they let me go.

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 12:11 - United States

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 983

You deserved it 3 447

Having a normal one

By Barista - 05/07/2009 05:21 - United States

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she gave me a really long recipe and said, "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic." I work at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 743

You deserved it 4 170

By Sleepy - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 569

You deserved it 70 002

False accusation

By Missa - 04/07/2009 03:04 - Canada

Today, one of our store's beach balls came out of nowhere and whacked me in the back of my head. I started reaming out two young girls for playing in the store, even when they said it wasn't them. Soon after, one of my employees admitted that it was her. I made some 7-year-olds cry and it wasn't them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 426

You deserved it 56 523

Crimefighters

By Anonymous - 03/07/2009 19:56 - Canada

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 400

You deserved it 3 875

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 024

You deserved it 13 406

By wherefelix - 03/07/2009 08:01 - United States

Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 129

You deserved it 9 518

By Regina - 03/07/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 418

You deserved it 55 564

By alwaysxgettingxshitxon - 03/07/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 221

You deserved it 2 948

Check this property out!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, it was my first day working for a real estate company. Just when I got into my car, my pants ripped from my crotch all the way to the top of my pants, a split that was three inches wide. I was wearing a thong and we were on our way to show him an open house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 039

You deserved it 9 207

Red alert

By nobleach - 02/07/2009 14:05 - United States

Today, I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 644

You deserved it 13 970

Nosferatu

By Kristache - 02/07/2009 08:31 - Canada

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 296

You deserved it 16 398

Check this out

By Robert - 01/07/2009 09:37 - United States

Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened the browser repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 659

You deserved it 7 418

Sick

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 03:25 - Australia

Today, I was supposed to work with this girl I really like, but I had the flu really bad. I really really wanted to see her so I forced myself out of bed and went to work feeling terrible but determined to see her face. When I got to work I asked where she was. She had called in sick with the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 144

You deserved it 17 933

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weddings Awkward Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Embarrassing Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Covid Argument Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Ironic Medication Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 782

The Top

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade, for which I'd worked extremely hard. I had one submission for the test, and my roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while I was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 225

You deserved it 3 502

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 615

You deserved it 4 946

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 404

You deserved it 4 948

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 068

You deserved it 3 924

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 603

You deserved it 3 786

Today, it only took my dad 10 minutes after I'd arrived at my parents' house for him to say that the actor scheduled to be the new Doctor Who couldn't be Doctor Who because "He's black!" I did try pointing out that Doctor Who is an alien with two hearts but… I gave up after that. Merry Christmas, yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 192