Work

By dining - 01/09/2014 01:56 - United States - Grinnell

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 032

You deserved it 2 934

By BlueyedKat - 11/04/2016 17:40 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I gave a presentation to a class of 70+ people. No one bothered to tell me my fly was unzipped. No wonder they were all smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 285

You deserved it 2 610

By housematefromhell - 21/07/2018 21:29

Today, my housemate revealed her supposed loss of function of her arm was all a lie. I spent hours in the ER with her and had to go to work the next day. Last time she lied about cancer. I'm stuck sharing with her for another 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 765

You deserved it 395

Happy dance

By Anonymous - 26/10/2024 17:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 158

Seize the means of production

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 10:00

Today, despite my ability to generate the company around £300,000 a year, I'm paid roughly £28,000 and yet I just discovered the new hire, who still hasn’t finished her training, has been given a starting salary of £35,000, which will rise to £40,000 after her training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 142

Nosferatu

By Kristache - 02/07/2009 08:31 - Canada

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 310

You deserved it 16 405

By FailingMyCourse - 07/02/2016 03:36 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I found out that my university had not accepted the internship I did when I was in college. They placed me in the same bank I interned in, with the same bank manager that I flipped the middle finger at after finishing my internship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 204

You deserved it 27 343

Taking the piss

By kafreen - 30/08/2016 19:35 - United States - Tucson

Today, I arrived at work early. I noticed the plants on the side of my classroom could use some water so I went out to do so. On the way, I found a beer can. Not wanting the kids to see it, I picked it up but some spilled on my dress. I quickly noticed a familiar smell. No, not beer. Urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 719

You deserved it 1 277

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 14:09

Today, I received my 12th rejection letter for voluntary work, as I don't have enough experience to be paid. I can't even work for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 05:51 - United States - Waco

Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 088

You deserved it 1 666

By NotYourDaddy - 08/08/2017 00:31

Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 537

You deserved it 567

Fitting in

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 22:00 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was annoyed, because everyone I know is going more places than I am, and it’s just really hard not being able to be like my peers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 459

The invasion begins

By Anonymous - 28/06/2015 15:00 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 316

You deserved it 1 874

Uh oh…

By Klingon - 04/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I woke up late and in a rush, I grabbed what I thought was a container of leftover spaghetti from the refrigerator to take to work. At lunch, I opened it to find it wasn't spaghetti, but raw marinated chicken my roommate had prepped for dinner. I ended up eating a vending machine sandwich that tasted like cardboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 511

By tmi4me - 26/05/2015 03:50 - United States

Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 400

You deserved it 2 081

By QueenCee - 02/04/2015 02:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while at work, a guy complained about me "touching his fries." At first I thought it was a joke, because he kept smiling, even after I offered him new ones. I realized it wasn't a joke when he threw the fries on the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 006

You deserved it 2 540

By jeed(1) - 25/08/2013 21:36 - France - Marseille

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 731

You deserved it 5 313

End of the road

By CANTTAKEMORE - 26/04/2016 22:24 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I seriously considered stepping in front of a car so that I could miss a few days of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 424

You deserved it 2 983

Always check for ****

By Anistoncole - 13/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was showing why we picked the colour in our posters and ads for my department. I used a video to explain; I hadn't watched the full video. I skipped to halfway through and there was a picture of a naked woman with starfish on her tits. Everyone kinda went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 1 314

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 06/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was working on entering a lot of information in the system. When I'd finished, I closed the screen to move on to the next steps, my boss came by to see how I was doing, just in time to see me looking at a now-blank screen. I'm convinced that my boss thinks I closed a screen that wasn't work related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 133

Make your mind up

By Jason Brazil - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 212

You deserved it 565

By touche :/ - 07/07/2013 21:27 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I went to a big job interview. Eventually, the guy subtly enquired about my political beliefs. He seemed pretty laid-back and cool, so I told him, at which point he just chuckled and told me to leave. When I threatened to report him, he just said, "Who're they gonna believe, you or me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 784

You deserved it 8 250

By ouch. - 25/09/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 060

You deserved it 3 403

Lord have mercy

By Simms - 14/03/2012 02:32 - United States

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 560

You deserved it 6 481

Luxury pain in the ass

By Elisa - 05/06/2024 14:00 - France - Gradignan

Today, I'm broke and just started working in a restaurant at a luxury hotel. On my first day, the director had told me to get rid of my blue dyed hair. Back at work with a new fresh 57€ cut and no blue in sight, he saw me. I have some blonde streaks in the back, and if I don't get rid of them within a week, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 322

Edit King

By Cianna - 15/12/2021 23:01

Today, I dumped my coworker boyfriend because I caught him cheating with another coworker. He reported me for sexual harassment, and showed my boss the consensual texts we shared during our relationship. Turns out he edited them to make it look like I was the one “harassing” him. Sucks to be jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 298

By unknown relationship - 28/06/2013 05:23 - United States - Shorewood

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship, after he told me he loved me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 443

You deserved it 3 151

It's a coup!

By everythingWASperfect - 13/11/2010 14:43 - Canada

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 324

You deserved it 4 395

By hotdogbunz - 23/01/2018 19:00

Today, my coworker was supposed to pick me up to go to a work event as my car is broken. I waited 3 hours and he never showed. After he arrived late to the event due to traffic, he told my boss that he waited for me and I never came out. Guess who's unemployed now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 285

You deserved it 393

By Anonymous - 20/10/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 916

You deserved it 9 500

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 409

You deserved it 3 506

Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 164

You deserved it 9 771

Today, out of the goodness of my heart, I went to work to help out a co-worker even though my last day was last week. I parked in a garage a block away for 2 hours. I paid $20 to park, didn't get paid, am spending $400 to get my back window replaced, and I have to buy a new iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 891

You deserved it 8 490

Today, I have discovered things not to do while drunk. Like shaving my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 282

You deserved it 40 967

Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 141

Today, I was trying to change my PIN code in order to make my phone more secure and prevent people from getting information from it. Instead, I somehow ended up locking my phone permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 120

You deserved it 31 152