Work

Hello everyone! OP here. Anyways, it was pretty funny after a while how all the guests kept trying to make small talk about the heat while I was visibly sweaty and annoyed (attractive, I know.) Luckily we have a shuttle and I periodically just went out and sat in it for a few minutes with the AC blasting in my face so it helped a little. Also, my boss called in a technician the next day who fixed it. Hopefully it doesn't happen again because it was horrible and having to wear long sleeves, a vest, and a tie as the uniform didn't help! :(

Life choices

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, my man comes from a rich family but he doesn’t get along with them too well, and considers himself “blue collar by choice”. Apparently this entails forgetting basic human dress code, like it being a bad idea to wear a black shirt, unbuttoned, untucked, and with cargo pants for his new high-level office job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 222

Antiwork

By GhostPenguin - 04/01/2022 14:01

Today, my soon-to-be former boss tried to NOT pay me for working on Christmas Eve, but I called her out. Now, she's blocked me out of her life, and is looking for my replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 150

Trash

By Anonymous - 29/06/2019 03:03

Today, I tried to call my company's HR to report my boss for sexually inappropriate comments towards me. Turns out, the only person I can complain to is the franchise owner, who has been good friends with my boss for over a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 971

You deserved it 164

There you go

By Anonymous - 04/07/2018 01:30

Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 949

You deserved it 1 593

By Sir Davos of Shit Creek - 13/05/2016 20:00 - Canada - Frankford

Today, my boss asked if I'd finished my work for the day. I've been binge-watching Game of Thrones this week, and I accidentally replied "Yes, Your Grace," British accent and all. He told me to stow my "sarcasm" or I'd be looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 016

You deserved it 11 201

By PoorGal - 19/10/2015 18:04 - United States - New Orleans

Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 062

You deserved it 5 809

Depressing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mother's funeral to cheer up, as I was depressing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 215

You deserved it 6 153

By kalamar5 - 25/05/2014 20:54 - Norway - Sarpsborg

Today, my boss bitched me out for doing some random web browsing while waiting for some documents I needed to arrive, then went back to his desk and went on Facebook, thinking I couldn't see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 855

You deserved it 5 475

Sorry

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 18:00

Today, I finally got my forklift license after training for a week. Almost eight hours later, I lost my license by not lowering my forks, crashing into and destroying four overhead light fixtures which cost more than $500 in damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 3 035

Know this of me…

By thefmlman2011 - 02/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was going to ask out a girl I work with, only to find out that not only is she in a relationship, she’s also a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 250

Nervous Nelly

By Anonyme - 15/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to a job interview and, trying to sound confident, I shook the interviewer’s hand and said, "Nice to meet me." I didn’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 09:14 - United States - Redlands

Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 208

You deserved it 1 272

By Kate - 17/10/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 685

You deserved it 22 952

By squirty_joe - 08/03/2009 18:37 - United States

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 320

You deserved it 20 565

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 06:19 - United States - Avon

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 475

You deserved it 3 561

Thanks for the pranks

By jellybeans - 21/03/2021 21:31

Today, I've been sexting a mysterious guy from New Jersey. I was getting hot, so I decided to say, "I want you to be my first." Suddenly, my officemate who was two desks away from me waved her phone in hand and shouted, "You're a virgin?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 706

Ludacris's birthday?

By Mr.Hoof-In-Mouth - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was talking to a customer needing IT help. I make small talk about how my birthday is on the same day the Boy Scouts were formed, and I tell the customer I am sure something interesting happened on his birthday. He gets quiet, then gives his birthday. September 11th. Cue the long silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 741

You deserved it 925

By Anonymous - 20/06/2013 19:15 - Germany - Paderborn

Today, at work, a woman demanded a refund for a video game. She had no receipt, so due to company policy, I couldn't refund her. She reacted by loudly accusing me of being racist, then yelled that she'd see me in court as she finally stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 113

You deserved it 3 141

Phoneless in Seattle

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 23:00

Today, in a rush to get to the gym after work for a class, I left my phone in the office. It's Friday and the building will be locked until Monday morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 418

Late stage capitalism

By Anonymous - 22/03/2022 12:00

Today, my wife’s business has failed in its first year. She blames the government, despite me telling her no one is going to work for her when she only offers minimum wage, one week unpaid vacation, two months maternity and one week paternity, no overtime rates, and a pay-to-use staff car park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 179

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 14:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I prepared a detailed plan to organise my life, colour-coded and beautifully illustrated. I was so engrossed in designing the perfect plan that I forgot to actually do any of it and ended up with a highly organised non-starter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 449

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had sex with my wife. After we finished and were cuddling, she said, "This is the part I like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 685

Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 311

You deserved it 217

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 242

You deserved it 7 304

Today, after convincing my now ex-girlfriend that I wasn’t cheating on her with a girl from work the other day, I accidentally called her by her name. They both start with “M”. Hello, single life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 650

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 264

You deserved it 12 455

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 881

You deserved it 5 859