Work

OP here. I don't work in programming. I teach weapons safety courses and coach people while shooting on the range. The only thing that came to mind when my supervisor said this was the center ring on the targets. Maybe I am wrong, but I took this as I should be shot at.

Broadcast

By suspended - 25/07/2015 00:59 - United States - Englewood

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 205

You deserved it 27 101

Oh nooooo

By Fucked. - 26/04/2021 07:59

Today, my supervisor at work is now my father-in-law. My girlfriend told me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 192

Ominous

By IloveMaroon5 - 07/06/2011 06:48 - United States

Today, I found out that if your boss unfriends you on Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 905

You deserved it 4 421

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 040

You deserved it 13 415

Bored to tears

By kevcng - 10/09/2012 21:20 - United States

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 749

You deserved it 8 002

Bitch move

By Anonymous - 14/12/2011 16:53 - United Kingdom

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 935

You deserved it 2 881

You never know

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 006

You deserved it 3 696

By Anonymous - 03/09/2014 22:30 - United States - Phillipsburg

Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 053

You deserved it 36 194

The truth

By vmml97 - 17/08/2009 21:16 - Canada

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him, "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was, "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 925

You deserved it 25 383

Leave me alone

By Quortney - 22/07/2015 04:20 - United States

Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 653

You deserved it 3 076

By BlueyedKat - 27/02/2016 06:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found out that the money I spent on a very specific degree was wasted, because apparently, I don't qualify for a job at the place that told me I had to have that degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 656

You deserved it 2 054

By Foot In Mouth - 13/07/2016 02:46 - United States - Bentonville

Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 304

You deserved it 6 058

It's all fun and games until…

By this generation sucks! - 14/07/2022 22:00

Today, I've now had to fire three employees this month alone. Why? Two were caught making TikToks while on the clock, “joking” about stealing customers’ credit card info, and the third posted a video of herself in a street fight while wearing her uniform. It should hurt to be this damn stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 264

You deserved it 126

Tough times

By Asha Toone - 31/01/2021 08:02

Today, I started noticing how unnecessarily hard it is to get a basic job such as a cashier or server, even though you already have experience in that field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 129

By sandwichmaker - 17/07/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 754

You deserved it 3 425

By akasha - 06/04/2012 06:15 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 005

You deserved it 2 626

Rah rah rah

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 577

You deserved it 5 101

Nobody wins

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 08:01

Today, I found that the product we shipped and what the salesman billed don't match. It's my job to flag such issues, as they cost the company money. The salesman asked me to shut up and be his accomplice, as it was done to please the client. The sales manager had to agree, but said I was causing trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 83

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 04:44 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 144

You deserved it 9 061

Bad idea

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I brought my mom to my work’s annual party. She insisted on meeting my boss and introduced herself as my "very supportive, overly involved mother." To make it worse, she gave him a lecture about how I was “just too shy” to ask for a raise. My boss is now both confused and terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 242

Let me speak to a human!

By Yudith - 28/07/2025 00:22 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I ordered a set of chairs on Amazon for my work. The confirmation code they were sending didn't show up on my phone or email. Two hours and countless chats with customer service bots later, when I got to speak with a human, the confirmation codes showed up. I still cannot order the chairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 170

Yudith tells us more.

Yudith 25

Sunday 27 July 2025 13:29

Update: after creating a business account only to be able to order the damn chairs and ordering again, the system somehow took my personal credit card to complete the transaction, then cancelled it just because. I still cannot order the chairs. Will try again on Monday.

By geena - 27/10/2012 06:42 - United States - Washington

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 090

You deserved it 7 988