Work

Run away, fast

By wtf babe?! - 10/08/2021 22:01

Today, even though we were together every day of quarantine, now that I’m working my boyfriend has become a completely different person. He’s now jealous, insecure and makes wild accusations. He’s called and showed up to my new job so many times the managers are threatening to let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 150

By Emma - 05/01/2016 03:08 - United Kingdom - Rawtenstall

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 765

You deserved it 5 503

No coffee for you

By timmyb - 02/03/2009 03:03 - United States

Today, I walked into Starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, as I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, "NO!" There was a 'Now hiring' sign in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 382

You deserved it 5 015

Chill out, mate

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 21:00

Today, I learned that when you tell an employee with anger issues that he’s had too many sick days due to being hungover, there's a high chance you will be hoisted off the ground by your shirt front and thrown into a drainage ditch full of stagnant water and a dead fox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 102

By Anonymous - 26/09/2010 04:59 - United States

Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 808

You deserved it 3 277

By vetstudentdream - 15/04/2017 22:00 - Australia - Bellbowrie

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 804

You deserved it 842

Box this!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Guelph

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 123

You deserved it 2 859

By Laura - 08/10/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 344

You deserved it 45 355

By Anonymous - 08/09/2014 10:55 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was told by my teacher that she had 'given up' teaching me because someone had told her I have a mental illness, and that I don't understand what she says. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 529

You deserved it 3 864

By ovawerkrd - 16/01/2011 17:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 989

You deserved it 2 762

Tech support

By Tiak - 30/03/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 257

You deserved it 16 757

Keynote

By Andrew - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 496

You deserved it 5 607

Nostradamus

By mcdeez - 22/09/2009 02:06 - New Zealand

Today, I had to cover for a coworker who didn't turn up for work. He's always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again, so I said to my colleagues, "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 562

You deserved it 14 386

By Late - 12/11/2016 07:45

Today, my boss at my new job yelled at me for being 15 minutes early to work. Last week he yelled at me for being late for my shift when I arrived 5 minutes early. He's considering this my final warning before I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 224

You deserved it 717

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 724

You deserved it 405

All over the place

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 12:00

Today, I got into a fender bender on my way to an important meeting. The damage to my car was minimal, but I was so flustered that I ended up getting lost and arrived late to the meeting. To make matters worse, I'd forgotten my notes in the car and had to wing it. Needless to say, the meeting didn't go well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 181

More responsibilities please!

By Anonymous - 29/07/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, at my job as a supermarket manager, I had to break up a fight over a handicapped parking spot, in which an elderly man nearly got beaten over the head with a prosthetic leg. This wasn't what I expected when I was told I'd been promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 83

By JAMjessie - 20/09/2016 16:54 - United States

Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 408

You deserved it 881

Quiet quitting time

By Anonymous - 26/01/2023 04:00

Today, I went to do a drug test for a new job. While I was there, they said the job was part-time with no insurance. Previously it was supposed to be full time with insurance. Now I have to take a job that pays $20,000 less a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 125

A tax on stupidity

By dinkley7 - 21/04/2021 20:02

Today, someone called me a bitch, all because I refused to sell him lottery tickets at 3 a.m. My state prohibits sales after 10 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 82

By anon_smh - 18/02/2016 04:37 - United States - Bozeman

Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 577

You deserved it 1 416

By framed - 02/04/2016 12:30 - United States - Portsmouth

Today, I was chatting with a new guy at work. He cracked a joke about me and I jokingly gave him a light push on the shoulder. Half a second after I touched him, he threw himself back and hit the floor yelling in "pain". Now I'm suspended because of this psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 2 428

Gaslighting 101

By josie - 10/11/2021 08:00

Today, I realized that no one at work actually tells me when there’s a rule change, they just punish me and then try to gaslight me into believing it’s always been a rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 101

Super-cali-fragil-istic-expi-ali-docious

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 01:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got fired from my job as a babysitter because the movie I showed the kids was "too violent and gave them nightmares." What movie was it? Mary Poppins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 98

Incomplete freedom

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 123

By notmarryingyou - 10/09/2014 17:16 - United States - Bothell

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 028

You deserved it 3 428

Mixed feeling

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 12:00

Today, my boss told me that I was getting a promotion. I was so excited to tell my family and friends the good news, but when I got home and checked my bank account, I realized that I had accidentally transferred all of my savings to my ex's account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 1 121

Today, on Asshat Customers…

By Anna - 03/03/2022 03:59

Today, I waited on a party of 8. They were a bunch of obnoxious 20-something year-olds. Not only did they cause a commotion, they left the table a mess. I even found an open condom on the table. Gross. And you probably guessed it: they left no tip. Just a note on the tip line: “Lose weight fatass.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 311

You deserved it 119

By helpme - 23/11/2015 17:00 - United States - Annapolis

Today, I started dreaming about being at work. I already work more hours a week than I requested, and I live right across from my work and can see it out my window. I can never leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 421

You deserved it 2 110

Vacation breaker

By Mommys boy - 23/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, I joined an impromptu work video meeting from a family vacation but forgot to change my display name from “Mom’s iPad.” For the entire hour, everyone called me “Mom” and I didn’t understand why they were calling me that. Once I realized what was going on, it was too late, so I’m officially “Mom” at work now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 300

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I went on a first day with a guy. It went well up until he saw my phone, loudly declared that I was ‘gross’ for having an iPhone, and then stormed out. I’m on a family plan and if it were my choice, I would have got an Android. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 260

Today, my ex hit me up out of the blue, so I texted our mutual friend to tell them what had happened. The friend then told my ex and he got mad, ending with him texting me, “Pop quiz: When’s the last time you took a shower?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 251

Today, my doctor lectured me for 20 minutes about 'drug seeking behaviour' when I asked for more anti-anxiety medication. I need it because my shithead 15 year-old son found my pills and took them to get wasted. I need the meds in the first place because he's constantly pulling shit like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 187

Today, I arrived at the airport with time to spare, only to realize in the middle of security checks that I'd left my phone in the Uber that got me there. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and despite getting my phone back in time to board, I can't enjoy my trip because I'm obsessing over this trivial mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 538

Today, I asked my husband how much he loved me and he refused to answer, because he was convinced I was using some unfair logic to start an argument, simply because I wanted to argue over something, anything. I later realised he was probably right. I’m an awful person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 768

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 019

You deserved it 2 513