Work

I must say, these comments had me laughing my ass off. To elaborate a bit, he had no idea it was me coming. He didn't even acknowledge or notice it at all. I'm fairly certain he was stoned out of his mind, because he barely said 2 words to me. When we worked together, there was always something off about him. He got fired for always calling off due to supposedly being homeless. Well, the house I delivered to was hella nice. So, idk. Lol. Either way, I tried to avert my eyes and just finish the transaction and gtfo of there. When I got back to work, the rest of my coworkers had a big laugh when I told em what happened. Lol. Definitely something I did not need to see. Lmao

Never crush on company time

By Anonymous - 25/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent a heartfelt text to my crush confessing my feelings. I was over the moon when I saw they were typing a response. Turns out they were just asking if I could cover their shift at work. Rejected and now on the night shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 256

Drive-by casualty

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Fairfax

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 048

You deserved it 2 731

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 489

By Anonymous - 27/03/2012 15:54 - Australia - Perth

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 776

You deserved it 4 840

By xxccruzxx - 29/06/2012 13:30 - United States

Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 169

You deserved it 29 886

Serfs

By Impotante - 11/06/2021 02:01

Today, at work while everyone else was at lunch, my boss's sister-in-law called. Realizing I was manning the phones alone, she immediately asked, "Oh, is everyone of importance gone to lunch?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 92

By CathyM - 27/09/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 903

You deserved it 2 796

Spiteful

By Anonymous - 04/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 180

By sobasics - 06/05/2013 23:43 - United States

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 451

You deserved it 3 728

Do it on company time

By Ayeya - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to print out a 100-page game strategy guide using company's printer. While not wanting anyone to find out about this, I picked a time when I thought no one would be printing. My CEO ended up standing next to me for 10 minutes, waiting for his stuff to print after mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 866

You deserved it 74 975

By aricababyy - 29/12/2016 05:09 - United States - Winchester

Today, I had my very first interview and pretty much got hired right away. Then I found out I have to drive 2 hours away for training. I don't have a car, license, or money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 846

You deserved it 601

By mushroomless - 14/10/2015 05:40 - United States - Thayne

Today, I got yelled at in a grocery store by a customer who recognized me from the pizza place where I work. Apparently, I forgot mushrooms on her pizza earlier this afternoon. I had the day off, but thanks for the verbal lashing, lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 819

You deserved it 1 893

Yummy

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 454

By mekiswrite - 30/06/2016 19:15 - Canada

Today, I have a job but can't be hired due to technical issues. This means that I'm technically not getting paid yet for the work I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 815

You deserved it 842

mekiswrite tells us more.

mekiswrite 21

Friday 1 July 2016 19:55

Hey guys! So, the place that I'm working at JUST switched to a new system - which nobody knows how to use. A while ago, my boss sat down with me to try to get me set up in the system. One problem that I had was that, using my phone, it was telling me my username and password were wrong. So, my boss told me to sign in as a "New Candidate". When I did, it didn't register me as having applied for any jobs. Last night, I tried logging in with my computer with the original username I had used to create a profile on the site. All fixed now, so I'm signed up for Direct Deposit and should be getting my employee number in a day or so. Which means that I can clock in and out and they can keep track of the hours I work. Which also means I'll be getting paid for the work I do!