Parenting and Health: #1 Mom

#1 Mom

By Eden - 14/07/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 958

You deserved it 3 171

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sore loser

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I have an excruciatingly sore throat due to chronic canker sores around my uvula. Every bite of food I swallow brings tears to my eyes. I had enough of dad calling me a wimp at dinner over it and shoved my food onto his plate. He's now faking allergies to food we've had for years, just to take the piss out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 105

Call CPS!

By leovaldez - 22/06/2020 20:08

Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 123

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 348

You deserved it 4 961

By Medfail - 20/06/2016 07:13 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 661

You deserved it 13 713

By Merlin - 17/04/2012 17:37 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 675

You deserved it 2 358

Man up

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was the flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 681

You deserved it 3 228

By madi - 15/04/2011 19:13 - United States

Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 810

You deserved it 3 157

By lk07 - 23/04/2019 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 398

By johnny121 - 01/01/2010 19:14 - France

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 048

You deserved it 2 662

Pink eye, white throat

By Stephanie Kugelman - 27/04/2022 22:00

Today, I'd finally had enough of feeling awful and went to urgent care. As it turns out, the reason my throat was sore was because I have a sinus infection. The doctor explained my nose is producing pus, and that's what I'm swallowing and coughing up. Yuck. I also have pink eye on top of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 161

Treffersonn 0

Friday 15 July 2011 1:23

Call 911 genius

Mirorbo 26

Friday 15 July 2011 1:24

Just lie so you can get the medical attention! Groundation is a lot nicer than possible death from not being able to breathe!

Comments

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

Friday 15 July 2011 5:40

maybe ur allergic to semen? so ur tonsils swelled up.

KLuff 0

Friday 15 July 2011 5:40

So I take it you weren't budging either...?

itswhateveridk 0

Friday 15 July 2011 5:40

call DSS

ame143odgers 3

Friday 15 July 2011 5:41

Lol, just say you kissed someone and when she takes you say you didn't....

madeline1960 0

Friday 15 July 2011 5:42

Is your mother a moron ? I think soooo

roger507 0

Friday 15 July 2011 5:47

fyl 186!!

conholio33 28

Friday 15 July 2011 5:47

that sucks was there no one else who could take u

Spicynipples 0

Friday 15 July 2011 6:07

we should rub our nipples together

indyclone 0

Friday 15 July 2011 6:07

Tell her daddy kissed you.

bobbyh1125 0

Friday 15 July 2011 6:18

hahaha fyl

Keywords

Art Relatable Work Family Parents Kids Animals Cats Money Miscellaneous Health Skincare Party Cops Neighbours Awkward Crush Love Furniture Argument Embarrassing Romantic Cute Stuck Roommate Shoes Clothes I need your advice Mental health Cars

The Top

Today, I thought it would be a good idea for me and my colleague to fuck in the bathroom that no one uses. Turns out, the president of the company, who was here for a visit, had picked the perfect day to use it. Now we’re jobless and potentially spouseless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 1 889

Today, after the seventh morning in a row where my son threw a fit because he wanted to wear summer clothes, I put him in shorts and a tank top and put him outside. He got the message and changed into long sleeves and pants. Ten minutes later, cops pull up. My nosy neighbor called CPS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 588

You deserved it 2 735

Today, a dog came up to me while I was sitting on my porch. I used my belt as a leash to go try to find its owner. After an hour of looking in the rain, I gave up and let it go. Now I'm back in my house and it won't stop pawing and barking at my door. It's 3:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 1 212

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 116

You deserved it 3 132

Today, the cruise that I was looking forward to for over a year was cancelled due to the coronavirus. Trying to salvage what was left of my vacation, I booked a hotel for a few days near a local beach. They just announced that the beach was closed and the hotel is refusing to refund my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 925

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 620

You deserved it 11 078

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 294

You deserved it 3 725

#1 Mom

Same thing different taste

Sore loser

Call CPS!

Ewwwwwww

Man up

Pink eye, white throat

Top comments

Comments