Money, Animals and Health: A job well done.

A job well done.

By belly the jelly - 30/10/2017 21:00

Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 585

You deserved it 698

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Same thing different taste

Leave spiders alone

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 01:01 - United States - Atoka

Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 1 939

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 743

You deserved it 30 892

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 464

Wuss

By kenneth - 31/08/2018 01:30

Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 757

You deserved it 1 662

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 291

You deserved it 14 265

Disproportionate responses are the new black

By Anonymous - 24/10/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 87

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 025

You deserved it 5 960

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 785

You deserved it 6 857

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 199

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 172

You deserved it 185 641

Tripartita 44

Monday 30 October 2017 21:31

Well, it’s nice that an effort was made, but now you—like any sane person—are wondering if that will be enough. You can always burn the rest later.

arioch_fml 20

Monday 30 October 2017 21:15

I mean, you can't really fault him. He killed it, that's what you asked him to do. At least you know you have to do it yourself if you want it done your way.

Comments

Arcady_fml 11

Tuesday 31 October 2017 3:10

That's what you get for not giving a man clear, step by step instructions lol!

marecu 13

Tuesday 31 October 2017 3:46

I mean, it must have been cool for him? I’ve watched my dad light a wasp nest on fire. It’s just awesome

GIJoefan 6

Tuesday 31 October 2017 3:49

Makeshift flamethrower!

tonyfan00 38

Tuesday 31 October 2017 6:01

I take it he hasn't heard about what happened to a guy who did something similar in Arizona earlier this month...

DJRy 13

Tuesday 31 October 2017 10:11

You should have been responsible and taken the spider outside. However, since you decided you wanted it dead, here you are. Enjoy. :)

Yudith 24

Tuesday 31 October 2017 11:59

I think he really hated those cupboards and this wallpaper. "Honey! I finally got rid of this ugly bubblegum...spider! Ugly spider!"

Razell 13

Thursday 2 November 2017 17:51

Public Service Announcement: Internet memes depicting the use of fire to eliminate spiders are intended as humorous exaggeration only. They are not an instruction manual on the proper tactics for eliminating creepy-crawlies. Dumb-ass. *The More You Know!*