It's a really big change for kids, especially if they are older. It was weird to see my mom remarry, but I was happy to see her happy. Hopefully she'll be more open to the idea of her fathers happiness as well after she adjusts to the change. Congratulations on your wedding, OP! With 5g on a dress, I'm sure it'll be stunning!

Perhaps make her a bridesmaid or something. If she's a kid, it's understandable that she's a bit possessive about her Dad. Rather than plan to shock her with a wedding, try to talk things through and perhaps become friends. You are going to be her step-parent, you need to act like one.

Let's just hope she doesn't make a bad toast at the reception.. D:

Or are you...? Lol

well its understandable, barely any relationships like this start off perfectly (step-parent/children)

Kids are hard headed, what matters is your husband wants you

Mother daughter time might change things hopefully for the better

Usually, all that the kids want after their parents divorce is for them to get back together. Now there are some exceptions, but if that's how the parents' relationship ended, she most likely is acting that way because you're not her mother. In some kids, that's how it will always be and refuse to get to know you. Hopefully she opens up to you. One step at a time and she could see you as family.

Give her time, patience, and lots of love. Step parents are really hard for kids to accept.

PLEASE READ. This is some advice for learning to handle your soon-to-be step daughter: Don't try to replace her mom. Even if you're not, She is still going to see you as trying to take her father away from her. To solve that, try to occasionally include her in some things that you and your soon-to-be husband do. Like going out to eat or something. Go get dinner and a movie as a group. And try to include her in some bigger decisions. It will let her know that you respect her as a person and she is not just a piece of furniture in your life. For example: If you're going to paint a room, let her help pick the color. Maybe you could try letting her help with some of the wedding plans. Like if you can't decide between some flower arrangements, ask her for her input. Also, show her that you care about her, as well as her father. Respect her privacy, and trust her to do the right things. And when she does something wrong and you need to discipline her, NEVER GET ANRGY AT HER. And NEVER YELL. Just be patient and calmly explain to her why it was wrong and CALMLY give her the consequences. Getting angry at a child will never EVER work. They don't respond to it well and it will break all of the trust that the child had in you. Anger only encourages the bad behavior because they learn that they get attention when they do something bad. And the child of a divorced family is going to want attention badly. This is why you also need to recognize good behavior. If she does something good, give her some words of affirmation or even a small treat. Even if it's something really small like cleaning her dish and putting it away, tell her that you appreciate it and that it was nice of her. Children respond much, MUCH more to this type of attention rather that negative attention. She will learn A LOT faster when you give her positive attention. PS: This comes from personal experience as I am a 16 year old girl with a stepfather I hate. I am also a horse trainer. Meaning, I know precisely how to maintain a loving relationship while keeping my authority perfectly intact.