Acceptance

By bummed out step monster - 24/06/2015 04:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 068
You deserved it 3 119
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Top comments

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Most kids don't like to believe their parents are moving on. Nobody likes change

284 3
smartjingle 11

Perhaps you should talk to her and try to improve your relationship!

260 7

Comments

littleking94 14

Well maybe you can change her mind over time. Maybe she feels like you'll come in between her and her dad or that you'll try to take the roll of being her mom.

3 2
littleking94 14

yup didn't see comment above before posting

2 2
UhHuhHoney 20

I hope w/ time she changes & hopes to wish you happiness.

2 2
Badabam_fml 14

From someone who had difficultly adjusting with a step-parent fairly recently, I'm wondering if you tried to bond with your future daughter in law prior to the engagement? I found that I was ignored and kind of set aside by both my mum and step-father once their relationship started, and my step-father didn't make an effort to get to know me. I had a similar attitude to your future daughter in law. A big tip here is let your partner do the parenting until she's comfortable with you, and don't try to replace her mother until she is comfortable with that. Communicate that you care for her and want to get along and eventually have a good relationship. Best of luck with your marriage and future daughter in law OP!

8 2
Fetuskicker666 15

keep ur head up and enjoy ur wedding, there will be time to improve your relationship with ur step daughter later

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sweetteatho 9

I understand her. My mom has been talking about being remarried and it makes me uncomfortable too. But don't be the stepmom that does things you know make your spouses kid uncomfortable without talking to them first, i.e. the wedding. That won't help your case and the last thing you want is tension in your new family. Don't expect butterflies and rainbows at first, but don't not do anything about it. When you went into the relationship, you knew that it was a package deal.

5 1
nhaba1214 19

Aww I'm sorry op. Maybe take her to do stuff or something. Everyone adjusts differently to that.

4 1
lvg_fml 10

How old is she ? Give her time and try to get to know her. Show support for her interests and encourage her dad to still spend time with just him and her. Don't try to force a relationship it will come in te

3 1
Brandi_Faith 33

I agree. Be sure that her dad takes her out to do some things one on one. She'll need those times where she feels his attention and love only on her, as well as times where they can talk just the two of them. Be sure he takes her out like once a week or so at the beginning. (If she's 16 or younger that is).

0 1
ILikeKoalas 24

Maybe get to know her better, and get a good relationship with not just her father but her as well, before you jump into marriage?

2 1
AmandaBatton0210 8

As a step mother of 6 years I will tell you it is a bumpy road. It's still tough for me. Keep an open line with your step daughter's mother if it's possible and never have disagreements with her father in front of her. Make sure he knows it's important that he never disagrees with you in front of her. Talk it out when she isn't in the room. Once you are undermined in front of her it is almost impossible to gain back control. Good luck and I hope it goes well for you.

6 1