Work: Accusations

Accusations

By cosmonaut - 07/08/2009 09:18 - New Zealand

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 895

You deserved it 71 443

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Same thing different taste

By JEalmon12 - 23/05/2019 12:00

Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 1 810

High school is hell

By Ani - 17/12/2021 10:58

Today, a "friend" of mine decided stealing my very low amount of sticky notes repetitively to make origami and show off was okay, even though I had repeatedly asked her to stop. Then, when I snapped, I was the bad guy, and everyone who was around started stealing my pencil case to get them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 221

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 068

You deserved it 3 096

By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 02:56 - United States - New York

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 659

You deserved it 51 504

By Red-cheeked - 18/05/2011 13:08

Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 476

You deserved it 47 603

Keynote

By Andrew - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 481

You deserved it 5 597

Whackjob

By LaterAlligator - 26/08/2022 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 109

By Jay - 06/05/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 453

You deserved it 3 391

By KatieElizabeth - 27/10/2013 04:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 532

You deserved it 2 738

By ouch - 09/02/2011 18:02 - United States

Today, I was in class when all of a sudden I was hit in the head by a metal pencil case. My teacher threw it at me to get my attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 752

You deserved it 35 549

WOLiF_922 0

Friday 7 August 2009 16:08

What a dick.

aero_fml 0

Friday 7 August 2009 16:12

Owned! But if I were her I'd do it again. Just to mess with you.

Comments

hibarisanstr 0

Friday 7 August 2009 16:38

YOU BABY. more like **** her life u dumbshit. No FML here fag,

_THE_MASTER_ 0

Friday 7 August 2009 16:40

wow, now you have to find a new job, because you just filled the slot in your current one as 'office jackass' congrats!

_THE_MASTER_ 0

Friday 7 August 2009 16:52

i was going to go with the double vote, because your life IS ******, but that's only because you're incredibly stupid AND reactionary, 2 things that never mix well, so you may be up for a Darwin Award soon. and YDI, because, of course, you deserve to look stupid, b3ecause you are...but, i just gave you the YDI for now, even though your doomed to die a very stupid and entertaining death, which I'm sure I'm not the only one who's looking forward to seeing it on the news one day.

elsieenchanted 0

Friday 7 August 2009 16:48

if this is real your a dumbass.

theanonimouse 0

Friday 7 August 2009 17:03

Okay sweetie, when someone takes your pencil, you just tell Miss Johnson and she'll get that meanie-weenie in trouble for you~ Oh wait, you're an adult? ******* act like one. I remember in fifth grade some girl accused me of stealing her pencil so often the teacher ended up calling my mom, who promptly told the teacher to STFU and offered to donate the, what, $2 it takes for a whole new pack? Grow up.

_THE_MASTER_ 0

Friday 7 August 2009 17:13

wow, OP, she told you. Anonimouse, WTG. ur awesome.

Polionixon 2

Friday 7 August 2009 17:28

lol i can totally see myself doing something like this.

flygirlnene 0

Friday 7 August 2009 17:28

This reminds me of the times I will be on the phone for a long time, then start looking for my phone which is to my ear. I would be like "Hold on, I cant find my phone, call it so I can follow the ringtone" to the person that I'm talking to.

marz88 0

Friday 7 August 2009 17:49

Can't tell you how many times that has happened to me haha. Or when the pen is in my pocket or... etc etc.

x_Leopard_x 1

Friday 7 August 2009 17:32

Pencils aren't expensive, you know. :) I do stuff like that all the time. "Where'd my pencil go?!" and my brother says, "You're holding it, idiot." No need to freak out about it.