Love, Weird and Animals: Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 685

You deserved it 9 289

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Same thing different taste

By LC - 23/01/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 833

You deserved it 7 159

By HM - 16/04/2015 13:10 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 4 522

By catastrophy - 19/11/2016 09:20

Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 846

You deserved it 1 333

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 40 950

By lessinterestingthanadog - 08/11/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 3 813

You OK, hun?

By Anonymous - 25/11/2016 08:43

Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 265

You deserved it 1 049

By caseyj - 25/03/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 147

You deserved it 4 764

By crazy cat lady - 03/11/2016 19:31 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 526

You deserved it 874

No one disturbs the masters

By Anonymous - 01/08/2015 04:10 - United States - Erie

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 353

You deserved it 3 232

By no more mr nice guy - 27/12/2016 07:32

Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 099

You deserved it 970

Failzoid 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:06

Dude. You should have joined them in the basket. Enough room for twooo ;3

Focnr 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 13:43

SPARTA

Comments

xoxkarinexox 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 8:12

5 too many?

Ninjaface 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 8:39

That gives being his bitch a whole new meaning. But overall it will make for a great relationship. He'll be loving, it shouldn't be that hard to train him, and if he ever gives you a hard time you can just threaten to get him fixed. Just make sure he's housebroken.

xxMoesLixx 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 5:06

lmao!

cmac86 23

Saturday 10 October 2009 9:39

sounds like a "to catch a predator" gone horribly wrong.

Mushu_ 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 13:01

talking to animals is cute. in moderation.

were_giraffe 2

Saturday 10 October 2009 13:25

you met a stranger online and invited him into your house? Frankly I think you're lucky that all he did was sleep in the dog's bed

ohheykiwi 2

Saturday 10 October 2009 14:08

He's probably a friend of a friend, hence the "mutual friends".

raquelspeaking 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 14:27

maybe he thinks you're really into animals so he tried to impress you with his pet-whispering skills.

SarahinSane 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 19:54

He sounds kind of cute to me.

PaperShreds 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 20:22

I'm surprised your cat stayed at the corner of your sofa for the entire night just to talk with him...I think you may have a new rival in love. Cat fight, anybody?

Jimboom 11

Saturday 10 October 2009 22:25

Awww. You made a fwend. Him sleeping in the doghouse means he thinks he is married to you now. :-P

Ice222 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 7:03

Sounds like me at a party. I'd rather spend time with pets than my friend's acquaintance who I might not know or like. Besides, if the couches are taken, I'm sure a dog bed would look mighty comfy if you're drunk enough.