Love, Weird and Animals: Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 685

You deserved it 9 289

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Same thing different taste

By LC - 23/01/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 833

You deserved it 7 159

By HM - 16/04/2015 13:10 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 4 522

By catastrophy - 19/11/2016 09:20

Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 846

You deserved it 1 333

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 40 950

By lessinterestingthanadog - 08/11/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 3 813

You OK, hun?

By Anonymous - 25/11/2016 08:43

Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 265

You deserved it 1 049

By caseyj - 25/03/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 147

You deserved it 4 764

By crazy cat lady - 03/11/2016 19:31 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 526

You deserved it 874

No one disturbs the masters

By Anonymous - 01/08/2015 04:10 - United States - Erie

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 353

You deserved it 3 232

By no more mr nice guy - 27/12/2016 07:32

Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 099

You deserved it 970

Failzoid 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:06

Dude. You should have joined them in the basket. Enough room for twooo ;3

Focnr 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 13:43

SPARTA

Comments

Hoeck 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:45

Wow. What do you think HE think the cat and him talked about? And what about the dog, not only did he ignore the dog all night, he also stole his bed!

ruben7467 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:50

sounds like a dog to me

cornsnake 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:05

sounds like something i would do.

dancingdoggy 4

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:26

Haha same. Sometimes people get curious, and just try out how something feels. Maybe it was crazy comfy, and he just fell asleep.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:30

Your comment and name made me laugh.

yem2004 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:30

that's just plain funny!

aback 4

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:32

If your cat turns up pregnant, shoot him.

Fentown_fml 4

Saturday 10 October 2009 2:14

OMG that's hilarious

DameGreyWulf 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:32

FURRY! No actually he was probably pretty nervous, thus the corner. He probably likes cats, thus the petting and talking to the cat. I know if I am nervous, alone, or feel out of place, I tend to spend more time with the pets than with the people lol... So, it's just a nervous reaction, nothing to get upset about. The dog basket thing is a little odd though, but how drunk was he? .... I bet it looked cute, him snuggled in there. [/afterthought]

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:36

... Do I sense a sort of, erm, crush, Dame? I'm exactly the same way. Well, sort of. I wouldn't sleep in a basket, no matter how much I drank.

DameGreyWulf 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:50

I don't think I would either, since I usually need some room for spreading out, but I've been known to sleep in odder places...

Besker 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 2:47

Mercy, I'd say they're more dangerous when they don't know it yet. I've been to some raves where that's led to some scary shit

lkoinuchan 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 0:40

AWWW!!!! That sounds ADORABLE!!! X3 ...but if he wasn't just being random, or didn't seem to have a reason for it, he's probably schitzophrenic; so you might want to have him go to a psychologist...or if he doesn't agree to it tell him it's the vet (lol jk).