Love, Weird and Animals: Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 686

You deserved it 9 290

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Same thing different taste

By LC - 23/01/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 837

You deserved it 7 161

By HM - 16/04/2015 13:10 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 594

You deserved it 4 524

By catastrophy - 19/11/2016 09:20

Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 849

You deserved it 1 334

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 282

You deserved it 40 966

By lessinterestingthanadog - 08/11/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 302

You deserved it 3 814

You OK, hun?

By Anonymous - 25/11/2016 08:43

Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 267

You deserved it 1 050

By caseyj - 25/03/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 149

You deserved it 4 764

By crazy cat lady - 03/11/2016 19:31 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 527

You deserved it 876

No one disturbs the masters

By Anonymous - 01/08/2015 04:10 - United States - Erie

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 359

You deserved it 3 234

By no more mr nice guy - 27/12/2016 07:32

Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 117

You deserved it 974

Failzoid 0

Friday 9 October 2009 23:06

Dude. You should have joined them in the basket. Enough room for twooo ;3

Focnr 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 13:43

SPARTA

Comments

flinkpamingo 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 5:24

Where does everyone find these people?

lolthatsucks101 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 5:53

Whew! can you say wtf did i do last night!? haha

jillz 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 6:03

In the dog basket..how rare, and impressive. It's not often you see a man who knows his place.

xenomorph 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 6:34

Don't treat him badly. He's had enough of a hard time from Encyclopedia Dramatica.

invisiblerabbit 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 6:57

he just wanted pussy. but you made him your bitch instead.

yellowberri 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 7:01

dude that JUST happened to me! i stubbed it 3 times in one day and i sprained it :( sorry i hope it gets better soon:D

Gasbarro 3

Saturday 10 October 2009 7:52

Wrong FML! Don't you feel embarrassed?

venomlash 9

Saturday 10 October 2009 7:23

You are dating a Furry. YLIF.

Misery_business 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 7:46

lol. maybe he was just being nice and not mess up ur bed/sofa and ur cat looks lonley ... just maybe

ToddSpald 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 7:52

That is totally awesome. Don't hate on the weird guys...

Dec12_2012 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 8:08

You must be really thick to have not seen all that crazy, not even from the internet.

Keywords

Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

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You deserved it 36 027

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I agree, your life sucks 10 868

You deserved it 59 704

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I agree, your life sucks 30 015

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I agree, your life sucks 11 173

You deserved it 2 348

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I agree, your life sucks 76 921

You deserved it 27 385

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I agree, your life sucks 47 553

You deserved it 3 158

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I agree, your life sucks 41 930

You deserved it 2 952

Alexa, play "You'll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties" by Jona Lewie

Same thing different taste

You OK, hun?

No one disturbs the masters

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