Are you OK?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Israel

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 997
You deserved it 2 833
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Top comments

ManInTheMachine 19

He practicing for when you start dating, if you haven't already. It'll finally explain why your dates are so uncomfortable. And it's better than a weapon threat. Your dad is a genius!

57 7
123man 11

Maybe he just wants to use it so that you can't elope.

51 3

Comments

emeraldisle 30

I find that a voodoo doll made out of a pineapple works best.

12 1
Catkam623 27

I've always preferred tying cherrys together causes pain while making something to cause pain seems right somehow.

2 3
Tupelo_Honey 30

Is it supposed to be you? Are the ones he's made in the past supposed to be you too? And why a melon?

4 3
Tupelo_Honey 30

I was just wondering if there was a significance to using a melon as opposed to another type of fruit.

3 0
perdix 29

#20, well, if he's anything like me, he's just making some excuse not to eat it. I love almost all foods, including most melons, but, for whatever reason, I hate watermelon. If I see a watermelon in the house, I put a sweater on it, use it as a bookend, do my Gallagher impression, . . ., anything to keep from eating it. Another reason could be "because it is there." Occam's Razor says the simplest answer is usually the best.

3 1
DrunkButterfly 17

wtf is voodoo? is that like some new Barbie?

2 19
howdeedoo 22

Have you heard of this new "Google" thing? And no, it's definitely not like Barbie

10 1
perdix 29

#21, it's more like a Cabbage Patch doll, except with fruit instead of vegetables. The toy companies are really running out of ideas.

14 1
zombieslayer83 19

It's the power of the babe!

7 1
rattusrattus 18

It's like My Little Pony. Except it's Watermelon Dolls: Friendship is Voodoo.

4 1
Torch15 9

Why's Noor so popular? Shes just an average girl?

3 14
perdix 29

#51, no, many of her comments are excellent. Like anyone, she makes some that are not so good. Don't I know the feeling!

10 0
Twilight_Sparkle_fml 8

46- I smell a fanfic coming on... Nope, just Spike

1 0
jangalianxi 6

Tell him it's supposed to be made of an onion. No wonder he has to do it alot, he's using the wrong base.

1 1
perdix 29

I guess that's one way of getting out of eating fruit. Somehow, I think if you made a talisman out of his French fries, he'd say, "**** that!" and eat it anyways. regardless of the bad luck he'd incur.

3 2
billyz77 24

If it happens a lot, he must not be very good at it. I've used the same melon for my last 8 curses. The trick is to really put a lot of hate into the coring of the melon. That seems to work better than when I use love. Using love just makes my victims win the lottery and fall in love and good shit like that but hate, well now hate can really make their eyes fall out!

6 0
chronosphere 18

unless hes practicing voodoo on a rakoon its not acceptable

2 5
DocBastard 38

If people would stop pissing him off, it wouldn't be necessary. So STOP PISSING HIM THE **** OFF. Just a suggestion.

8 0