Gross and Kids: Artistic merits - FML

Artistic merits

By bigmozwoman - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was driving students home on my school bus. I looked up in time to see a student wipe what would be one of many boogers across the window. As I'm cleaning the window, I tell her, "This is disgusting." Her reply? "No, it's not. It's PERFECT!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 436

You deserved it 1 812

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Same thing different taste

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By ballerphilip23 - 15/05/2009 17:11 - Austria

Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screamed, "Stop winking at me, don't even think about it you ugly fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 972

You deserved it 2 979

By whitedevil - 09/10/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 172

You deserved it 49 927

By elfy2 - 03/03/2011 02:49

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 154

You deserved it 3 430

By jamjamy - 26/12/2008 04:53 - France

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 2 634

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 22:40 - United States

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164 938

You deserved it 11 600

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 241

You deserved it 3 091

By slapstick1982 - 31/12/2016 17:25 - United States - Ashford

Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 178

By girlw/ablog - 02/07/2019 11:00 - United States - Austin

Today, while on a bus, an elderly lady sat next to me sneezed so hard, snot literally went flying. I even offered her a napkin, that she refused. After a brief panic and realizing she had nothing to clean her mess with, she "inconspicuously" wiped her snotty hand on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 24/04/2014 15:35 - United Kingdom - Montrose

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 235

You deserved it 3 417

Next

Top comments

I_Like_Dogs 28

Friday 18 September 2015 11:43

That snot very nice of her.

xoxoblondee 31

Friday 18 September 2015 11:45

It's called "Artistic Expression" and should be put in a modern art museum Because modern art museums are shit

Comments

allforfun 23

Friday 18 September 2015 19:42

Yeah I would have made HER clean the window...

worldclassrager 39

Friday 18 September 2015 22:12

I would like to know the link to perfect...unless there was a design or something

trucker2 33

Saturday 19 September 2015 8:30

You can inspect her next window mural, an report back

earlytermination 34

Saturday 19 September 2015 3:56

Kids are gross.

don_sean 11

Tuesday 22 September 2015 6:44

Very much 2 types of people in this world.

wysegirl 24

Sunday 16 September 2018 9:48

hell no they can clean the window.. we would have been slapped if we got caught doing this..

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers

The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

The Top

Today, through my Ring doorbell I saw a pregnant woman knock on the door for my son and claim the baby was his. He just said to her, "No it’s not", then shut the door in her face. She left before I could get there. The little bastard won’t tell me her name or phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 221

Today, my boyfriend and I were out for dinner. We were talking over the noise of the restaurant, when suddenly it got quiet as he shouted, “I can’t wait to fuck you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 331

Today, I've just lost over £12,000 and it's not even halfway through the trading day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 040

You deserved it 8 747

Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 143

You deserved it 1 459

Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 679

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 4 347