Intimacy: Bad timing - FML

Bad timing

By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 414

You deserved it 10 013

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 958

You deserved it 14 587

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 422

You deserved it 1 411

By robm - 26/07/2010 20:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 430

You deserved it 4 671

The language of love

By Paicked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 641

You deserved it 17 861

Romance ain't dead

By awkwardbf - 09/09/2009 01:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 990

You deserved it 4 890

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 585

You deserved it 7 161

By Great. - 18/05/2012 15:05 - United States - Billings

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 010

You deserved it 5 345

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 758

You deserved it 4 440

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 149

You deserved it 5 976

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 865

You deserved it 6 315

Next

Top comments

herrobear 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 6:51

I always say I love you when having sex with my girlfriend. Why would I be having sex if I didn't love her? Forever happy. (:

eyeIoveyou 4

Saturday 31 December 2011 6:43

the blood from his erection rushed up to his heart and made it pump faster because of the loving feeling he was getting :']

Comments

jhb33 4

Sunday 1 January 2012 8:01

If my girlfriend said that I'd get harder

rlconn 8

Sunday 1 January 2012 8:14

I'm so sorry for you... Do not take it as something you did wrong, he just isn't worth your love...

Lilacware 4

Sunday 1 January 2012 8:31

He probably wasn't expecting it.

Lilacware 4

Sunday 1 January 2012 8:39

That's very good advice.

CynthiaHarry1993 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 11:44

That's awful. Happened to me too =[

BaconBoy75 2

Sunday 1 January 2012 14:12

Ouch. Sorry honey. Some guys are just morons. Don't let this break your heart too much.

toryfee 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 17:05

Some things shouldn't even be alloud on fml.com.... This is one of those things.

evebright 5

Sunday 1 January 2012 18:48

That means he came. Good job. Next time say it with his johnson in your mouth. Guys love that. Why? No clue. Dumb if you ask me.

HunterDavis 0

Sunday 1 January 2012 20:17

That's the power of love!

g_sam99 2

Sunday 1 January 2012 21:15

A guy I was into did the same thing to me. It was phone sex, and we weren't even together but... It definitely killed the mood, only because it took me by surprise, though. I did feel the same way.

10
11
12
13
14
15
16

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Kids Scary Mental health Parents Creepy Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Work Cute Transportation Cops Awkward Sports Crush Teachers Education AITA Public freakouts Mother in law Weddings

The Top

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere, I said, "You're my favorite!" Now I'm sitting here, talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 277

You deserved it 130 925

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 736

You deserved it 3 487

Today, I was kicked out of class for having a coughing fit. Yesterday, I was kicked out of class for sleeping, a side effect of my cough suppressant. Three absents from this class and I automatically fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 145

You deserved it 3 827

Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 350

You deserved it 1 946

Today, I have a 20-page essay due at 11. I'm only at 6 pages. I couldn't do it last week because of final exams. Got COVID on Monday (tested positive on Tuesday), so I was out of commission for three days. Now I won't even be able to see my families for Christmas. Fuck university. I'm so tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 418

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 948

You deserved it 4 254

Today, I was started my week of camping alone in the woods. I took my shoes off to go to sleep, but I had to come out to get water. I stepped on a wasp, and while I was standing on one foot looking at the sting, I realized I was in an ant pile. I'm allergic to both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 314

You deserved it 2 463