Uh, whoops. That sort of comment is bad enough even if someone’s mom is living, but opening that sort of fresh wound, even by accident? I’d be looking for a hole to crawl into.

I’ve done this before. Chronic foot in mouth syndrome led me to saying all kinds of ****** up and stupid shit to people well into my mid-late 20s. For whatever reason, my favorite go-to at one point was your mom jokes. And sometimes your dad jokes. Of course, I said it once to a friend whose father had died. I didn’t understand why I often had issues getting along with people, or mistreatment from my friends, who likely found me annoying. My mom used to tell me I have two ears and one mouth because I’m supposed to “listen twice and speak once.” Which was another way of saying something else I commonly heard, “think before you speak.” For whatever reason, none of these wise words really stuck with me, probably because I heard them a lot as a kid. As a young adult, a friend introduced me to the concept of the “filter.” Just something that goes between your brain and your mouth, and you stop and consider whether you should say something just because you thought it. I don’t know why, but this was the first time I considered whether all my weird jokes and verbal diarrhea were off-putting. I slowly started applying the concept. Is this the right thing to say? Is it ok to say it? Might I offend this person? Is there a better way to say it? Should I say it at all? It can be a LOT to think about, and I developed pretty severe social anxiety. But, over time, it became habit. Do that. Think before you talk. Even if your coworker’s mother hadn’t just died, that comment could have come across as very passive aggressive. Or even like light scolding. It reminds me of the kinds of jokes I used to make that would piss people off. TL;DR: Learn to filter your thoughts before they come out of your mouth. Like I should’ve filtered this long-ass post before I hit send. Wait...

You know that game "Step on a crack, break your mother's back?" You may want to avoid that for a while.