Bitten

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 00:01 - Spain - Barcelona

Today, I had to explain to a lady that the reason I mindlessly touched my crotch was to itch a mosquito bite. She didn't believe me, and called me a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 527

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Same thing different taste

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 912

You deserved it 5 805

By aurora320 - 19/07/2016 19:50 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, when confronting my boyfriend about slapping a girl's ass in the club, he claimed: "There was a mosquito on it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 841

You deserved it 1 392

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 909

You deserved it 12 672

By akasha - 06/04/2012 06:15 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 993

You deserved it 2 619

Checked out

By Anonymous - 21/09/2019 16:01

Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 178

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 404

You deserved it 54 566

By Tom - 06/06/2017 11:00 - United States - Antelope

Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 509

You deserved it 457

Solo

By AmIworthit? - 13/08/2021 10:01 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I had to admit to an attractive coworker that it wasn't a hickey on my neck, but a mosquito bite instead. I then realized how alone I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 118

Get it off me!

By Katieeee - 04/11/2023 22:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 126

By Brook - 26/02/2013 08:21 - Australia - Sydney

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 462

You deserved it 3 830

RichardPencil 30

Monday 2 September 2019 0:52

So, you let a mosquito suck your dick? You are a pervert! Mosquito life spans are way less than 18 years, so you're a pedo, too!

GoogieWithers 22

Monday 2 September 2019 2:15

Why was she looking at your crotch? She's the pervert!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 2 September 2019 0:52

So, you let a mosquito suck your dick? You are a pervert! Mosquito life spans are way less than 18 years, so you're a pedo, too!

EmDizzle2007 28

Monday 2 September 2019 1:30

18 is legal... come on, you're better than this

mekiswrite 21

Monday 2 September 2019 1:56

Considering the life span of a female mosquito it max 56 days and the lifespan of a Male is 10, definitely not legal.

mas12806 24

Monday 2 September 2019 1:33

You don’t owe her an explanation

jahrule 3

Monday 2 September 2019 1:34

lol wtf🤣🤣🤣

GoogieWithers 22

Monday 2 September 2019 2:15

Why was she looking at your crotch? She's the pervert!

Sinshine 28

Monday 2 September 2019 2:57

You don't have to explain anything to a random stranger. Should have told her to mind her own business instead of worrying about your crotch.

Wadlaen 23

Monday 2 September 2019 6:27

Could you not just have shown her..?

Richard Luna 1

Tuesday 3 September 2019 3:44

Mosquitoe bite in the crotch? Nay you a pervert

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 9 September 2019 2:38

That's one of my pet peeves - guys scratching their nuts in public. It's a terrible habit and makes you look trashy. Please don't do it.

YallDeservedItJk 22

Monday 9 September 2019 16:45

Did she ask you for an explanation or did you decide to just start talking about your crotch to her??? If you did that’s creepy af and YDI

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The Top

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 101

You deserved it 5 916

Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation daily in an effort to get pregnant. My husband has only had one task during the entire process, and after hours of gaming, he says he's just too tired to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 644

You deserved it 1 934

The Top

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive." She called me a cow murderer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 457

You deserved it 43 786

Today, my grandmother passed away recently, and I moved in with my mother to support her. My two uncles and my cousin (a technician, photographer, and a theologist) who are in a joint venture wanted to discuss business. I felt like a loser, waiting in the other room, while they sat in my Management Consultancy office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 150

Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years-old, with no wife or children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 299

You deserved it 2 398

Today, I was syphoning some gas from my truck to my friend's car just enough to get to the gas station. I told my friend to let me know when the gas was coming; he said, "Alright." Suddenly, I got a mouth full of gas because he was on his phone taking a video of me. He got the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 617

You deserved it 1 673

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. Less than two minutes later, he decided he wasn't ready for the commitment. After I had already said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 669

You deserved it 2 735

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 289

You deserved it 413