Miscellaneous: Blind rage

Blind rage

By prickly - 11/10/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 046

You deserved it 2 858

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 15/07/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 202

You deserved it 7 945

By TheSublime - 21/10/2009 13:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 866

You deserved it 4 655

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 898

You deserved it 54 455

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 820

You deserved it 6 292

Heavy sleeper

By good_aim - 27/07/2013 08:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 26 914

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 515

You deserved it 3 876

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 410

You deserved it 32 997

By Chandler - 16/09/2011 19:26 - United States

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 849

You deserved it 2 936

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 230

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 183

doggie3 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 23:14

Sounds painful.

paivarotti 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 23:18

Shove a pineapple up her bajingo.

Comments

carkel 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 23:54

one of the few FMLs that have actually made me laugh out loud. so, sorry you got hit with a cactus, but tell your wife she made my day :)

Spongii101 12

Monday 12 April 2010 21:19

I LOLed so hard at this, my Mum just stared at me. :) Epic WIN!

Julianneisasmurf 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 23:56

That sucks, but you are a good husband :)

newyorker17 0

Monday 12 October 2009 0:20

Awww, your wife is lucky to have you!

CatherineARE 0

Monday 12 October 2009 0:23

the best way to get the pricks out is to us duck tape trust me it works i have fallen on one (and it hurt) DUCK TAPE DUCK TAPE DUCK TAPE DUCK TAPE DUCK TAPE DUCK TAPE **DUCK TAPE** ^^DUCK TAPE^^ @@DUCK TAPE@@ ##DUCK TAPE## %%DUCK TAPE%% &&DUCK TAPE&& ++DUCK TAPE==LESS PAIN

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 12 October 2009 0:31

DUCT* YOU ******* IDIOT.

A7X5989 0

Monday 12 October 2009 1:02

Duck tape can be used in this situation. Duck tape is a brand of duct tape, it's like saying, "Hey, get me a Kleenex." Kleenex is a brand of tissue. So think before you speak.

Kukua 5

Monday 12 October 2009 9:10

Yeah but Kleenex has become such a household name that people don't use it to refer only to the brand. People only call it duck tape because they don't know it's actually called duct tape.

menschmaschine5 0

Monday 12 October 2009 20:28

And the duck brand includes more than just duct tape. I've seen masking tape with that brand too.

Ohnothingreally 0

Monday 12 October 2009 21:17

Still, no reason to get butthurt about spelling errors. Your/You're Duck tape/Duct tape In the end, it's you who loses for wasting your time on a simple error.