Alcohol and Health: Boozehound

Boozehound

By I get the hint - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 721

You deserved it 12 450

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Top comments

Bano360 25

Wednesday 18 September 2013 12:12

At least he cares.

perdix 29

Wednesday 18 September 2013 12:13

Invite them to your next big party. If you are consuming all of that alcohol by yourself: Step 1. Admit you have a problem. . .

Comments

ElijahAsh 14

Monday 26 July 2021 3:39

uy at my local bottle return commented about my number of empties. I said A. I have a lot of parties. B. You’re at least 300 pounds dude, don’t worry about me 😂

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Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 077

The Top

Today, I went shopping with my sister’s husband to help him choose a birthday gift for her. My sister’s insane friend saw us, followed us, and caused a huge screaming scene in the middle of the mall accusing us of having an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 036

You deserved it 297

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 205

You deserved it 10 263

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 019

You deserved it 2 178

Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 833

You deserved it 1 603

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 180

You deserved it 12 413

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 337

You deserved it 2 625